My husband IS generally sick/ill with something most of the time?

So glad I found this thread! ENOUGH!!!!! Just got back from the ER. Again. He's only 43. He does have a bad heart. But does nothing to try to remedy it. As one of you posted here...groans. Out loud. All the time. If I have to hear I'm tired one more time I will lose it. Tonight the ER nurse hands me the clipboard to fill out paperwork and I said I'm not his mother, tell him to fill it out. Like another poster here said...time for a MAN.

I thought my boyfriend was an Adonis when we met. Huge. tan. blonde. surfer. strong. Now I just see a big guy saying he's tired. I have almost no attraction for him anymore. It is the biggest turnoff.

Good advice! While we still can!

So much of this I can relate to. I insisted my partner went to the doctor and he gave him something like a morphine medicine because he was complaining of arthritic pain and his arthritis medication apparently didn't help. The doctor suggested things like exercise. My partner refused to take the medicine stating the pain had gone. Now he is complaining of hayfever which has suddenly turned into a nasty cold and he has taken to his bed. We went on holiday for a few days and had a lovely room but is all he did was complain of being in pain and moaned about having to drive. He always insists on taking his daily medication in front of people at breakfast I believe hoping to attract attention and he frequently gets around to telling everybody about his medical history. This time I made sure we had food in the room that he could take before breakfast with his meds before he went down to breakfast. Apparently he needed to take it with something more substantial so the medication came down to the breakfast room! Sadly he doesn't seem to want to be well. His family don't bother with him and all his friends are virtual.. online forums. He is never too ill for social media. As a diabetic myself I like to walk but he will make any excuse not to come with me and doesn't like it when I go out on my own. I have suggested various therapists and changes to diet but he doesn't seem to want a resolution. I'm beginning to think that the problem is rooted in the past and may be linked to an emotional situation. I have walked away many times but I'm always drawn back as I missed him so much. I don't know what the answer is but have taken comfort from this site after Googling in things like why is my partner always ill and why is my partner always complaining? I do see a lazy side to him but would really like to believe this is not the case.

Oh goodness! Here I am googling about my husband symptoms and I ran into this site. I been reading all the comments and its if you ladies are speaking about my husband. I have been married 11yrs with him and I don't think there is been one day when he has said I feel good. Its always I feel worst today or I feel so

Wow, I just googled “my husband is sick all the time”. We have been married 2 years and spent so much time having fun adventures he first year. He was a very strong man. Now he is always sick. I’ve been begging him to go to the Dr for a year. He won’t eat right, smokes but did quit drinking. We don’t have sex anymore due to ED. I just want to figure out what’s wrong so we can get back to being us! Thank god he has had a flexible
Job because he didn’t work for a month because he didn’t feel good.

My husband and I have been married for 40 years. We have both had a couple of frightening health emergencies (him-coronary failure; me-cerebellar hemorrhage). Nothing minor, but we are recovered.

My question is this: why do doctors expect a woman to take responsibility for their husband's care, but not vice versa? After my husband's coronary, I got weekly calls from his doctor telling me that he had to eat a low-fat diet (a myth now debunked), exercise, etc etc. My husband loves to tell people how he had SUCH fun feeding my carefully prepared lunches to the birds, then going out for a double cheeseburger. Not to mention getting angry when I tried to relay his doctor's orders.

I, on the other hand, was totally ignored after having a near-fatal brain bleed. In fact, the hospital allowed my husband to take me home without therapy or follow up of any sort. No one ever called him to tell him to monitor my progress, or to even find out if I were being fed.

Now he has another, very real, health problem and wants me to go with him to his appointment. I know exactly what will happen, and can no longer drum up much interest in monitoring his health. After all, it's been about 20 years of anger and verbal abuse when I tell him that possibly he should not spray engine starting fluid 6 inches from his face when he has COPD. Or SO many other things!

Is anyone else in a similar situation? I just don't think that I can do this anymore.

You go girl! Find your own happiness! That's what I've had to do. I really enjoy going places without a boring, self-centered, groaning and moaning about something husband with a complaint of some sort all the time. He gets very angry if he isn't attended to like an infant. He is always is demanding 'attention'. What the heck does that mean? I've never said or even thought that 'people owe me attention'. My mother always told me, "If you want something done right, do it yourself".

My husband owns his own company except he doesn't go to work. Me (wife) and two sons run the company's daily needs while he sleeps until at least 11 am everyday. Then just sits around all day on Craigslist.

He's 'too sick to take care of himself' UNLESS he finds something on Craigslist to buy. Then all of a sudden he doesn't have back pain that requires surgery, gut pains that requires surgery, etc. on and on..

He hops in the truck with MY money to go buy something 4 hours away. This is the same person that can't even get up to go to work for a day. If he actually goes to work once, it's usually for a couple few hours, then back home for his daily naps. He does sleep about 4-6 hours more than I do.

One time he went to 'nap'. Well, that was at 2pm on a Friday and he did NOT get out of bed until 5:30 pm on Saturday evening!!!

He has slept on the couch for almost two years until I had a fit because I was sick and tired of getting up for normal working hours only to have a husband on the couch that will not get up. Our business office is attached to our house, so I can see him on the couch all day just sitting there while the world goes on without him. How pitiful!

He can't make a dinner plate, he can't clean up after himself, he can't pick up his own laundry, he doesn't know how to help carry groceries, or load un-load dishwasher, he wants me to get his clothes for him, pour his coffee, on and on. It NEVER ends! He's like taking care of a 3 year old.

Omg My husband does the same thing — claims he is sick all the time.. I have never seen someone so sick in my life!! Every time it involves doing something he don’t want to do or deal with he becomes sick , or a headache, blah blah blah! Been with him for 15 years and I am just about done. Just 2 weeks ago he is now saying he has anxiety and severe depression and quit his job.. I took him into his Dr , got him enrolled in counseling and put on Paxil .. I at this point can’t handle it or deal with this so I called his mother who lives 3 hours away to come to our house because I am tapped out —exhausted! I feel on one hand bad for him and feel I am being selfish and inconsiderate but on the other hand I just can’t deal with him and the bs anymore! The past few years it has just got worse and worse with him. Everything being dumped on me while he claims sickness , and depression and anxiety. He very well may have depression and anxiety but I am just numb and sick to death dealing with him! He is leaving to go to his moms for a week and I am at the point I don’t want him coming back until he gets his sh*t together! I’m tired of being dumped on. I’m tired of the stress.. I’m so damn tired of it all and am screaming inside!
I couldn’t believe I found this site and others in the same boat as me! I have no one to really vent to because it’s so embarrassing the way he is and acts! I am just at my end with him and I feel he ruined this relationship not me.. I have given him anything and everything . I have been through sooo much c**p because of him and I’ve stuck by him but I can’t take it anymore!
God help me!!!

You could be married to my husband cause they sound like twins except mine is 72! Complains every day he hurts, it’s his heart, it’s his knee, it’s his whatever! I tell him to go to his doc and he says “they won’t find anything”. Well why not? Cause it’s in his head? I want to be a young acting person and I am married to a crock. Guessing that’s why there is a lot of what they call gray divorce usually initiated by the woman!

Same here... I went looking for a solution for my problem of losing my cool over it. My husband starts moaning and complaining nearly every Sunday night, or when I work from home or I decide to take a day off. He is rarely able to work a full 3-day (part-time) week. It's my reaction that troubles me though. I get so frustrated and disgusted! Is there a way to accept this behavior??? BTW, he is only 59.

I’ve been reading 100’s of these comments and this one really has me rolling on the floor laughing. This is exactly my life. Exhausting. Glad I’m not alone.

A lot of us in the same situation

Same experience but with my wife. Sick until something fun for her to do or buy. Sick every single week for almost 10 years. Doctors say she is fine so her response is she doesn't trust doctors or their c**p. So now she won't see them for that. Somehow also why she can't go to a dentist in 10 years... smh as I use to track it to show her I wasn't imaging it but then she just respond, oh that can't be right. Finally today she admits she is sick weekly and might be by the weekend but has no plans to figure it out and of course still wont go to a doctor. So I guess this is life, I work full time, only income, I come home and do full time parent as she is to weak to do more than scroll through news, before it's bed time for our kids and then she can only watch t.v. till we are all asleep. Follow that with the next day she is always trying to sleep in while I get up at 4 and prep the day for our kids. I just want to know if it's real or move towards a life where both of us can be depended on for more than a few days before a sickness that doctors cant find happens. Sorry its just exhausting and I wish I had someone to help a little more.

All of these people sound like me. My husband is 73 and used to be fun and happy. He has been constantly sick, tired, in pain, whatever " for over 5 years which makes me want to leave but then I feel terribly guilty. I haven't had a decent life for 5 years. He's nasty and cruel one minute them loving the next. I do almost everything alone. It's a second marriage and even his own children feel bad for me. I'm the only one who has worked,very successfully I might add, for the past 20 years. If this is what the rest of my life will be like I don't see the point. Only the love for my children keeps me going. I feel too guilty to leave him but dream of it constantly. I also just want some happiness as I grow older and see life passing me by.