Panic from not smoking weed????

I am a 31 yr old male and have been suffering from severe panic/anxiety everyday for the last 8-9 years of my life. lol it's amazing.  I have read many post's of people smoking weed and then going into panic,  for me it was the opposite.  I had smoked weed regularly from the age of 17 never had any panic.  I was 23, had an amazing job, still smoked weed but I was on a business trip in Las Vegas for a tradeshow and to meet with clients ect.., and had no smoke(weed) but figured I was fine.  Day 7 of the 10 day trip at Emeril's restuarant in the MGM I panicked for the first time left the table very quickly and never returned.  I walked the streets of Vegas all that night curling up on bench's not sure what to do...  very suicidal I think I was.  So thankful I made it home.  When I think about it I would attribute my panic to .... too much alchohol, a little bit dehydration, very little sleep and stress.  I could not figure out anyother triggers.  So If I had weed to smoke and relax me... ( like I had been used too ) I believe I would not have panicked..?? Not sure.??  This was my second year going on the trip,  I had been to that restaurant before....  I am now 31 almost 32 , have not worked since , tried 20+ medications with bad effects, NO friends and have pushed any family so far away mentally and physically.  I have my coping methods that get me by the general anxiety and sadly I can sit quietly through the panic everyday if I don't push it but this has ruined my life.  I smile when I cry lol :-D. Just looking for some thoughts as I still smoke probably even more and dont notice anything bad really.  It helps with sleep, distraction, eating and it makes me happy