Hi can someone help here? I have a friend who miscarried at 12 weeks. Already has 1 child perfectly healthy. Has been with the same man for about 13 years and married for about 6. Over the past few years and more so since miscarriage she has become semi attracted to women and just recently became quite involved with one. The whole situation is quite a mess she is seeing a psych because she thinks she is gay? Has anyone else experienced anything like that before? Please help
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My heart goes out to all who have to go through this, Moms AND Dads to be! Many people don't seem to think that a miscarriage is that big of a deal for a dad-to-be... Not true at all! I went through this, this is what I learned...
I'm a father, and my kids are my life. When my (now ex) miscarried, I went "numb" and robotically attended to her needs during the first couple days. I was worried that my subdued reaction meant I must not care. She was inconsolable and cried so much she could barely speak during this time, so I suppose I just knew that I couldn't begin processing it until she was OK.
It happened on a Wednesday, and by Friday night it finally hit me. I had taken the ex and my son to her mother's, and was sitting there alone smoking, when all of a sudden I freaked right the f--- out. I smashed a large assortment of useless odds and ends I had been hoarding, threw them off the balcony, and told my concerned neighbours to go f--- themselves for daring to ask what was the matter. I told God to go f--- himself too, for being such a useless c--- and not protecting my kid. I cried whenever I was awake at first. Eventually I forced myself out of bed, and went out and got completely f----- out of my tree on all sorts of drugs. Thankfully my recollection omits the next couple days, but when I came down from the drugs I probably felt the emptiest I had in my entire life. I soon got kicked out of the term of trade school I was taking as well, since I couldn't focus and fell behind.
There is some good to this, though: My son's mother and I had just gotten back together about a month prior, and while the conception was unintended we were thrilled. So after we calmed down I told her "We will get pregnant again", and sure enough she did and my daughter was born about 1 1/2 years after miscarrying. She's currently almost 1 and a half and is beautiful and healthy!
When you successfully have a child after a miscarriage, the fear and stress that is left over doesn't suddenly vanish. If anything it causes new paranoia about the baby's health. But in the end it was worth any amount of heartache, nothing can match the incredible feeling of being able to hold her after worrying for 9 months!
I'm a father, and my kids are my life. When my (now ex) miscarried, I went "numb" and robotically attended to her needs during the first couple days. I was worried that my subdued reaction meant I must not care. She was inconsolable and cried so much she could barely speak during this time, so I suppose I just knew that I couldn't begin processing it until she was OK.
It happened on a Wednesday, and by Friday night it finally hit me. I had taken the ex and my son to her mother's, and was sitting there alone smoking, when all of a sudden I freaked right the f--- out. I smashed a large assortment of useless odds and ends I had been hoarding, threw them off the balcony, and told my concerned neighbours to go f--- themselves for daring to ask what was the matter. I told God to go f--- himself too, for being such a useless c--- and not protecting my kid. I cried whenever I was awake at first. Eventually I forced myself out of bed, and went out and got completely f----- out of my tree on all sorts of drugs. Thankfully my recollection omits the next couple days, but when I came down from the drugs I probably felt the emptiest I had in my entire life. I soon got kicked out of the term of trade school I was taking as well, since I couldn't focus and fell behind.
There is some good to this, though: My son's mother and I had just gotten back together about a month prior, and while the conception was unintended we were thrilled. So after we calmed down I told her "We will get pregnant again", and sure enough she did and my daughter was born about 1 1/2 years after miscarrying. She's currently almost 1 and a half and is beautiful and healthy!
When you successfully have a child after a miscarriage, the fear and stress that is left over doesn't suddenly vanish. If anything it causes new paranoia about the baby's health. But in the end it was worth any amount of heartache, nothing can match the incredible feeling of being able to hold her after worrying for 9 months!
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This was my first time having being pregnant, then having a miscarriage. And now I have back pains, short break, anxiety, and stomachs pains, even my boobs sometimes hurt. I just don't know what is going on? Any input?
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