PLZ READ AND TRY TO MAKE SENSE OF IT. ITS 4:00 IN THE MORNING AND I CANT SLEEP BECAUSE THIS....
1. im am 17 now i have been smoking since i was 15 heavily since i was 16 i smoked everyday for about 2 years and i loved every second of it.
2.but one day i had a headache so i took some alive then later that day my friends picked me up and they had some joose. i never drank joose before so i tried it (i only drank beer before and never really liked the hard stuff). then we went to my friends house and smoked a crazy amount of weed and i started to feel the same sh*t u did. a wierd trip. people were lagging.
3.before this day i started to not enjoy weed as much though because of a new kid in the group who would bring shitty weed and i was used to high quality stuff(OG.purple haze.green crack,bubble gum ya know).
4.then i got sick and wasent getting better turned out the alive and joose combo screwed my kidney up. and at this point i decided i was done with everything its been 4 months and i still hang out with my pot head friends some times and the smoke around me but i refuse the sh*t.
5.but the thing is now i am more depressed then before and i have lots of suicide thoughts even though i know i will never go threw with it. its just because i am more alone now and i feel as if my best friends abandoned me and are better now then before even though we still hang out every once and awhile but its weird.(my friends me everything to me and i was always there for them no matter what)
6. the few thing that have helped me is music and bmx. i am very much into hardcore music and poppunk indie and just punk. the bands that helps me the most is The Ghost Inside i feel as if there new album saved my life. same goes to hundredths new album. also the moshing "hardcore dacing is somewhat therapeutic to me. i also listen to alot of Cage, Jawbreaker, Glassjaw, Stick To Your Guns. and many others but yea
7. but yeah i feel the same way as you i have been keeping a journal and writing down a lot of theroriys about life and philosophizes about every thing that are just coming to me.
8. i also feel as if god has a greater purpose for me to.
9.plus when i went to revgen(smokeing weed at this time about 2months or so before i quit) i also started to question weed at this point but continued to smoke until you know. but this is when its stopped being as "fun".
10. i look back a pics of me when i was high and i also look dead inside and just stupid not worth it. especially ones from the day i am tripping its crazy.
i do not regret anything because in the long run it will make me a stronger person and ill be better for it. but i wish that things weren't so extreme with the depression and all but i guess its 2 years of pot smoking biting me in the ass.
I like alot of others miss weed, it was such a good release for me; and from an external perspective I would say it was a good thing for me.....affected me different, gave me tons of energy even when i wasn't smoking. Ran a marathon while smoking everyday, did a full triathlon, got a bachelor degree and masters, but in this country if you smoke you are living a lie. Especially once i became a professional and was making good money.
But I quit now for several months now and i wont lie it has been rough for me (smoked nearly everyday from 17 to 25). Even though i see nothing wrong with it, I was tired of being embarassed of a good portion of my life. I know if I drank as often as I smoked, i know i would be considered an alcoholic; so it was time to do something. I couldn't just be one of those people who smoked once a week or once a month, if i had an eighth i would smoke everyday....just like one pinch but still. For me it just sucks cuz now that i quit smoking i have a lot less energy throughout the day. Kind of opposite of everyone else experience.
Anyways like i said it was tough, but stay strong. Remind yourself why you quit. I do not think weed is the worst thing in the world, but like all things too much is a bad thing. I am proud of all of you, people who don't fall under its spell dont understand what it is like to quit. I do and have deep respect for everyone who is struggling but staying strong. Our creator loves us and wants us to be happy.
this is for bmx hardcore, welll kinda but not really.. lol
right on man... im kinda in the same boat, well not really... just saw that you said you were here at 4 am which is when i arrived here tonight.... just feels like we have somethin in common, like im not so alone as i would think..
Sadly, i let my marijuana get in the way of my college education for almost a year, for a good pART OF sophomore year and even a little bit of junior... ive only been smoking for a little less than a year in total and i found myself hopefully addicted to it. I let it get in the way during school.... my grades were alright but i was still not doing amazing...Then once i went on break last month and a half, i decided for some stupid reason that i would smoke weed during my winter break. I figured, hey i wont do it that much. Again, yeah freaking right. I ended up hitting up just about every one of my stoner friends like you did, and it was no fun after awhile. Worse even was the fact that my parents and girlfriend knew and would confront me about and i would try to tell them that i would be fine, i would be mean about it too... ugh... Now im back at school, it just started, and im an emotional wreck and an insomniac right now... and my long distance girlfriend cant contact me right now so that sucks too... but...
Not everyone suffers like we do. The people that posted on here trying to make fun of or condemn those who havent been able to quit like they have, shame on you. Not everyone is created equal, so its only logical that not everyone can deal with things the same ways.... and weed is no exception.We're trying to quit, and weed isnt always for everybody... so thats all that matters, our effort!
I also feel like God is out there watching over us, and while maybe not all of us have been the best people or Christians or whatever, its nice to at least try and pray to God, no matter how silly you feel.... . It could be a prayer you make up, or it could be an actual prayer, such as the "God, grant me serenity..." prayer (g00gle that). Also, if you're into God or not, LOOK INTO THE COLOR MORALE, IF YOU LIKE POST-HARDCORE BANDS AND ARE GOING THRU TOUGH TIMES, LIKE WEED WITHDRAWAL, OR EVEN OTHER THINGS... OR YOU'RE LOOKING FOR INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC WITH GREAT MELODIES AND SINGER AND BREAKDOWNS, LISTEN TO THEM, THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER right now so far...
So yea, good luck to you all, and you my friend, mr.hardcore, i hope you're doin well too. I've heard the band name "The Ghost Inside" thrown around but never listened to em, i will definitely check em out. Glassjaw is righteous btw. GOOD LUCK ANYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING!
I'd suggest you just carry onn with your normal life stop thinking about any of this. Keep going with all the exercise and the workouts. they help a lot.
Even if you dont feel like eating just grab a bite every 5-6 hours...and drink loads of water when u wake up in the morning..have fruit juices etc.
NEVER even think about going back to smoking weed again..NEVER! You'll get over this soon.dw
and Im more confident! God is your strength!