I am a 34 yr. old married mother of two girls ages 8 and 11. I was 8 weeks pregnant when I went and got an abortion 11/8/08. I was in a severe state of anxiety and depression when I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't planning on more children. I gave my husband a ton of cons about having this baby. A huge a age diffrence from the girls, one would be a senior and the other a freshman when this baby was to start kindergarden. The financial burden. Noone to take care of it since I work full time. The life style change. And probably one of my biggest cause of anxiety was the thought of telling my family. We live in a 2 family home with my parents living downstairs. My parents are very controlling, judmental, negative people who have very pessimistic outlooks. I know they would have seen me being pregnant again as some sort of tragedy rather than a blessing. My husband tried to convince me to keep the baby. He said things always have a way of working out. He convinced me to cancel my 1st appt. At the clinic I found on the internet and told me that I should atleast go see my gynocologist 1st which I agreed to. When I called to make an appt. I was told he no longer accepted my insurance and that was it I didn't even bother to try to see a diffrent doctor. I just remade the appt. At the clinic. I'm sure if I would have gone to a gynocologist and seen a sonogram and heard a heartbeat I never would have gone through eith the abortion. The night before my husband again tried to talk me out of it and I got angry at him and told him he was a gutless coward to do this to me after we had already made a desicion. So the following morning he drove me to the clinic and I went through with it. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I don't think I will ever recover from this. I feel so guilty and ashamed about what I did. I'm breaking down in tears everyday begging god for forgiveness but I can't forgive myself. I realize now none of my reasons were good enough. I'm married I live in a nice home. I may not have much money but my daughters have never lacked anything on the contrary they've always been spoiled. I realized now that it was the extreme case of anxiety that I was under that caused me to do this. I was having full blown panic attacks. I was depressed with my 2nd pregnancy also but after the 1st few months passed and I stopped feeling so sick all the time, I got better and got use to the idea of being pregnant and now I can't imagine life without my daughter. I feel such an incredible sense of loss like a part of me is missing and I would give anything to be able to go back and not do what I did. I wake up every morning wishing it was only a dream. I realized too late that I did want this baby. My husband seems to think that me getting pregnant again would make everything better. I don't agree. How can I so callously turn around and get pregnant again after I had my baby flushed out of me like a piece of garbage? I can't replace him or her. I think the whole time I'm pregnant I would be thinking the baby should have already been born and always wonder what he or she looked like. That would make the abortion have been all for nothing. I don't know what to do. I can't cope with this I'm finding it very difficult to function in my everyday life. People at work keep asking if I'm ok, since I'm so down all the time. It really takes a lot to try to act normal and just carry out a converstion. I have to into the bathroom and let myself cry everyday. I can't look at my two daughters without feeling guilt and remorse knowing I murdered their baby brother or sister. I'm finding it very difficult to live with myself. This all I think about day and night. I can't find joy in anything anymore.
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Dear DONT be Sad Mom,
Ya know what, you did it, it's done. The reasons you gave were not reasons, they were excuses. Your a 34 year old women, wife, mother, you should not have to worry about what your parents would think of you or your pregnancy. That's the time i would tell my parents to butt out and stay out. Your husband sounds like a nice guy, i wouldn't consider him a gutless coward, he wanted you to keep the baby, which by the way, takes 2 to make one. Don't allow yourself to get pregnant again, that's not your answer. I suggest you seek out the help of a counselor, this whole thing sounds like your not able to handle it by yourself. Listen mom, i had two abortions. I had such a pain in my heart for quite a while. I had one when i was very young and the second one, well i was married to a man who had had a vasectomy after our third child was born, you fill in the blanks. I felt like the lowest most rotten stinkin piece of s**t that ever walked the earth, not only for having another abortion, but for cheating on my husband. I couldn't stand it anymore, i told him, he moved out and we got a divorce.
So on top of being riddled with guilt about what i had done, now i was alone with no husband. He moved out of the house on our 12 year anniversary which was in december, my b-day is two weeks after that, and 2 weeks after that was christmas, talk about depressed.
I know your hurt and sad, but you know what? You will be fine, i'm still here and much stronger. God did forgive me, i know he did. PM me if you like, we can talk. Your not a bad person, you sound like a good hard working wife and mother. It's been such a short time since your procedure, your hormones are still wacked out, but you will come back to life. In the meantime, have you considered getting your tubes tied or at the very least try Mirena, it lasts about 5 years and you can remove it should you decide you want another baby, which i don't think you do. A baby would be a bandade and i think you would be miserable and maybe resentful due to a hugh life change. Take the time to mourn, be sad, cry, yell and scream, it's okay to do that. Remember, should you want to talk, feel free. Hugs to you NO MORE Sad Mom.
Ya know what, you did it, it's done. The reasons you gave were not reasons, they were excuses. Your a 34 year old women, wife, mother, you should not have to worry about what your parents would think of you or your pregnancy. That's the time i would tell my parents to butt out and stay out. Your husband sounds like a nice guy, i wouldn't consider him a gutless coward, he wanted you to keep the baby, which by the way, takes 2 to make one. Don't allow yourself to get pregnant again, that's not your answer. I suggest you seek out the help of a counselor, this whole thing sounds like your not able to handle it by yourself. Listen mom, i had two abortions. I had such a pain in my heart for quite a while. I had one when i was very young and the second one, well i was married to a man who had had a vasectomy after our third child was born, you fill in the blanks. I felt like the lowest most rotten stinkin piece of s**t that ever walked the earth, not only for having another abortion, but for cheating on my husband. I couldn't stand it anymore, i told him, he moved out and we got a divorce.
So on top of being riddled with guilt about what i had done, now i was alone with no husband. He moved out of the house on our 12 year anniversary which was in december, my b-day is two weeks after that, and 2 weeks after that was christmas, talk about depressed.
I know your hurt and sad, but you know what? You will be fine, i'm still here and much stronger. God did forgive me, i know he did. PM me if you like, we can talk. Your not a bad person, you sound like a good hard working wife and mother. It's been such a short time since your procedure, your hormones are still wacked out, but you will come back to life. In the meantime, have you considered getting your tubes tied or at the very least try Mirena, it lasts about 5 years and you can remove it should you decide you want another baby, which i don't think you do. A baby would be a bandade and i think you would be miserable and maybe resentful due to a hugh life change. Take the time to mourn, be sad, cry, yell and scream, it's okay to do that. Remember, should you want to talk, feel free. Hugs to you NO MORE Sad Mom.
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After being told for years I couldn't have kids I got pregnant. I lived at home with my very religious parents who did not believe in sex before marriage. My boyfriend was younger then me and only 19 and not ready to be a dad. I was working a bad job and would not have been able to make it on my own with my paycheck, and my parents would have kicked me out of the house as soon as they found out. So after weeks of crying and an all around severe depression during which time I wouldn't go to work and just sat on my boyfriends couch all day while he was at work I made my decision.
It's really hard. Anyone who says it's not is a liar. This is not something that just happens then poof life is normal again. I'm pregnant again, now 6 years later, and I have a feeling of guilt. Why am I keeping this one when I didn't keep the other. I also worry that karma will come back on me and fear daily this child will be sick or something terrible will happen. If I feel this way 6 years later, then I can't imagine how I would have felt getting pregnant again right away. That's definitely not the answer.
You're currently mourning, and that is healthy. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Counselling can be a good thing. Someday you may be ready for more kids, but right now is not the time and that's okay. If it's never the time that's okay to.
It's really hard. Anyone who says it's not is a liar. This is not something that just happens then poof life is normal again. I'm pregnant again, now 6 years later, and I have a feeling of guilt. Why am I keeping this one when I didn't keep the other. I also worry that karma will come back on me and fear daily this child will be sick or something terrible will happen. If I feel this way 6 years later, then I can't imagine how I would have felt getting pregnant again right away. That's definitely not the answer.
You're currently mourning, and that is healthy. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Counselling can be a good thing. Someday you may be ready for more kids, but right now is not the time and that's okay. If it's never the time that's okay to.
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hi, i also had an abortion 6/11/08, i regret it every day, i wanted the baby from day one but even though i was told from the father that he would stand by me i couldnt help but think he would walk away after it was born.
i can't sleep or eat or even go out now, i feel that bad i just cry all the time thinkin of the baby that could of been...MY BABY! so i do know how u feel.
i get telt all the time that i should dust my self down and move on but it's far easier said than done. i just hope that one day u can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
at the end of the day u made the decision that was right for u at the time. i didn't i chose my family over a baby, which i severly regret.
i hope u feel better soon.
i can't sleep or eat or even go out now, i feel that bad i just cry all the time thinkin of the baby that could of been...MY BABY! so i do know how u feel.
i get telt all the time that i should dust my self down and move on but it's far easier said than done. i just hope that one day u can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
at the end of the day u made the decision that was right for u at the time. i didn't i chose my family over a baby, which i severly regret.
i hope u feel better soon.
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Hi All.
GOD does forgive each of you. The procedures are done and you can not undo them so try to forgive yourselves and praise God for mercy and grace. There is a wonderful organization in my area called A Woman's Concern. They give counseling and free pregnancy tests for those thinking about abortion. They support those who choose to keep their babies or give them up for adoption. They also counsel those who haver had abortions. I believe it is free. Look for an organization like this in your area where you can get counseling and maybe even volunteer.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Blessings
GOD does forgive each of you. The procedures are done and you can not undo them so try to forgive yourselves and praise God for mercy and grace. There is a wonderful organization in my area called A Woman's Concern. They give counseling and free pregnancy tests for those thinking about abortion. They support those who choose to keep their babies or give them up for adoption. They also counsel those who haver had abortions. I believe it is free. Look for an organization like this in your area where you can get counseling and maybe even volunteer.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Blessings
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Honey, I understand where you are coming from. I made a horrible decision a long time ago and I would do anything to correct my mistake too. But, do you wanna hear something cool? God has already forgiven you! He understands the mess your in. He sees your heart dear and all He wants is for you to run to Him because He just wants to shower you with His Mercy (which btw, if you ever read the diary of St. Faustina, His Mercy is a bottomless pit.) He doesn't want you to wallow in sin and shame forever. He wants you to be free!
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SADMOM, Do not take this to heart. If you ask God for your forgiveness he will forgive you but Never do it again. My sister was raped my dad made her have an abortion, she could never have any kids her entire life. I have 5 boys and two girls. I was the one who got pregnant on the top of the hat chain. My sister was institutionalized after the baby died from the pain and for losing this child. do not allow the grief do to you what it did to my sister. Everyone has a story to tell. Write in your journal each day on what you feel I think that talking to a therapist really does help. With my sister no only losing a child we soon lost her. Her guilt made her commit suicide but please do not do this. She took her life because she had other issues too drugs, too many men after the rape she got into awad of trouble where as you have a good life a family who loves you.
I feel so strongly that you need to seek someone who can help you. someone who cares about you. not a family member but a friend outside your normal range, maybe a therapist or a group therapy who also has gone through what you have been. So do not beat yourself up on this your never alone. Friend. Talk to me if you want.
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Guest just remember when you die you will see your baby as a baby she will not forget you, maybe in turn this was the best at the time you gave to her. She forgives you as Jesus does this too. I feel your regret but you must move on with your life, your past child would not want you to suffer all her burdens. there is a light on the other side of the tunnel. You are a strong person and I am very happy for you for that. one day you will see her and play in the sand with her. She says she is happy where she is now,with the other children before her, gods precious babies have a place in heaven for you waiting to be.
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Please look up Project Rachel. They are a group who helps post abortive women feel better after a procedure. Also, go get counciling or look for a post abortive support group in your area.
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Please look up Project Rachel. They are a group who helps post abortive women feel better after a procedure. Also, go get counciling or look for a post abortive support group in your area.
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Please look up Project Rachel. They are a group who helps post abortive women feel better after a procedure. Also, go get counciling or look for a post abortive support group in your area.
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