I was bullied during year 7 and 8 at school and since then i have never really recovered from the feelings of pain both physical and mentally, most times i felt extremely close to tears about what they were doing to me.
I seem to have lost interest in showing any emotion when a joke is told to the class i can just sit there and easily stare down at the table during all my lessons.
I have one friend and feel that everyone is against me, i want to beat 10 shades out of the people who kick my chair in class or punch me in the arm when this happens i feel the heat building up inside me and want to snap just so i can be suspended from school, i cant snap because I'm worried that people will laugh at me f innerly doing something about this.
I think my step dad has mental problems for the past 3 years ive had many of my electronics stolen from my room and last year it got to a point where i had to buy several steel safes to lock my belongings in.
He hates me no matter what my behavior is like i spend 16hours a day in my room alone and he still hates me, i don't take part in family outings because i don't feel included, whenever walking past he mumbles swear words at me, stockpiles sweets for himself to eat but never eats them to make me jelous, calls me gay, whenever i talk to mum about what i did at my dads he says "who cares?" my dad is a lovely man and is god compared to this piece of sh*t.
30 mins ago i went for a piss, and he saw this as a opportunity for him to boss me around, when i closed my bedroom he smashed it open and said "flush the chain" i replied "no, leave me alone" he went away and when he saw that my light was off he burst in and put me in a headlock i shouted out "Get off me" and i was saved my my mum of course he denied doing this. whenever my mum has enough she says "thats it your out" but then he will say "oh i'll change i swear" but everything goes back to normal again.
I cant take this anymore and fancy a life in some local woods where i can be alone and free of any pain and suffering.
I cant stop thinking about titanic and the people who died this has been going on for some time now am i crazy?
I seem to have lost interest in showing any emotion when a joke is told to the class i can just sit there and easily stare down at the table during all my lessons.
I have one friend and feel that everyone is against me, i want to beat 10 shades out of the people who kick my chair in class or punch me in the arm when this happens i feel the heat building up inside me and want to snap just so i can be suspended from school, i cant snap because I'm worried that people will laugh at me f innerly doing something about this.
I think my step dad has mental problems for the past 3 years ive had many of my electronics stolen from my room and last year it got to a point where i had to buy several steel safes to lock my belongings in.
He hates me no matter what my behavior is like i spend 16hours a day in my room alone and he still hates me, i don't take part in family outings because i don't feel included, whenever walking past he mumbles swear words at me, stockpiles sweets for himself to eat but never eats them to make me jelous, calls me gay, whenever i talk to mum about what i did at my dads he says "who cares?" my dad is a lovely man and is god compared to this piece of sh*t.
30 mins ago i went for a piss, and he saw this as a opportunity for him to boss me around, when i closed my bedroom he smashed it open and said "flush the chain" i replied "no, leave me alone" he went away and when he saw that my light was off he burst in and put me in a headlock i shouted out "Get off me" and i was saved my my mum of course he denied doing this. whenever my mum has enough she says "thats it your out" but then he will say "oh i'll change i swear" but everything goes back to normal again.
I cant take this anymore and fancy a life in some local woods where i can be alone and free of any pain and suffering.
I cant stop thinking about titanic and the people who died this has been going on for some time now am i crazy?
you are not a victim they are so start changing the way you think when you are around toxic characters like your stepdad he is internally
in torment he knows he needs help but he is a coward that is the suffering he is enduring now the internal pain of a coward who is also a bully outside of his skin train your mind to protect you with peaceful resolutions to circumstances that you can not change . and the situations do change your" thoughts are powerful tools of peaceful solutions use it to make yourself happy make friends and be happy.
because "I Care"