Staying in a bad relationship!!!

Bad relationships are actually quite easy to finish, even if you don't find it easy to break up or you feel insecure on your own.
Heres my advice based on what I did.

I lived with a woman for two years. It was good to start with but things started going downhill. I didn't really want to stay with her, but I know I'd be very upset for along time if I split with her, and I wasn't sure if I'd miss her, or enjoy my new found freedom. But it was when to do it, and if I did it, was it the right thing and knowing that very sad day might come.

So my best solution was to test the water and and do it gradually. I became a volunteer for an archeaology society ( history is a big interest and escapism for me).
I spent less and less time with her. I knew this would either force me into one of two feelings.

1. I would actually realise I would miss her, and it'd help us work things out. or
2. I wouldn't miss her, I'd make new friends that'd distract me from the problem, or even meet someone new.

For me, it was number 2. So I spent more and more time with other people at this society and met a friend of a friend ( who wasn't ion the society) and we became very good friends. My Ex GF never complained about it, and I didn't really miss her. It got to a point where the relationship was just running on fumes and slowly dissolving itself. But I now had a new friend to distract me, who later became my girlfriend.

Doing this mean't that there was no sudden 'Lets call it quits' . We still got to see each other so we never missed each other, but we didn't have the hassle and trials of a proper bad relationship either.
It came to ahead when I could safely move out, and it felt like I'd just moved out of a friends house for a while...because at the end of the day, that is what we became.


Hope this helps

if talking it out when it gets bad isnt working then i wold think you would move on. life is so short to be unhappy. sex isnt everything in a relationship. i didnt think i would ever find my true love but i have . :-D you should be able t :-D talk and work things out not fight all the time and not get along. it sounds to me it may just get worse. if nothing can be worked out.

Ladies: Men are not mind readers. Tell them what you want- state it plainly. Many men assume everything is fine until you tell them otherwise. If they don't change, or don't take what you saying into consideration- is it worth the unhappiness??

i agree with you it happens to a lot of ppl they just get bored of each other.

Learn from what I'm going through at the moment and TALK to your guy!

It's difficult to tell what the exactly you need to do without knowing more about your circumstances, but basic communication is the key to getting through the hard times (because there is ALWAYS hard times- it's the same for everyone) in a relationship!

You need to express your worries and also that you aren't happy. I'm not stereo-typing blokes but when my relationship troubles were dropped on me by my wife last week it was essentially the first time I'd known about it! I'm not ignorant or uncaring for her, we guys just get wrapped up in our own stuff a little too well sometimes! It may be the same for your guy. He may not understand or not have realised the seriousness of how you feel. My wife hadn't talked to me when she first got doubts and so now we're in this mess where she doesn't know what she wants and she's having a break away rather then giving me a chance to work stuff out. Relationships aren't all fun and games and sooner or later it takes WORK from BOTH of you to keep it going.

We've always been so different but so great and it would be a waste not to try and hold stuff together. Talk first and if there isn't goals that you can make to improve the way you are together or there is and one of you wants to get tackling them but the other won't THEN there's a problem!

Relationships are beautiful things when they work on their own but sometimes you need to use both hands, both feet & your teeth to keep everything going in the right direction. People give up too easily when that first hurdle comes, so IF (and only IF) there is something you guys can realise you need and that you can work on fixing it then go for it!

Good Luck!

Brad :- D

Same here. We fight almost everyday but what makes me stay is "knowing" someday it'll get better. If there's a lot going on in your separate lives that can make both you irritable. When you get along great you could never imagine being without him but when things are bad and you're fighting you can't imagine spending your whole life that way. I think you should wait it out a little longer and don't give up. Only you two will know if the love is still there, there's going to be many people saying leave him if you're fighting and all that but i know what its like to be inlove but also in a questionable relationship. But only you will know when it time to give up. Every relationship has issues, some just have to work harder and learn hoe to reconnect in other ways. Wish you the best of luck!

You did the correct thing, trust me. The verbally abusive behaviour of binging alcoholics are not worth it, never mind WHAT the reasons. You deserve better. You deserve to be loved and respected, not put down all day and night. He did not respect you, so you have no obligation to stay at all. Many fish in the sea, my dear, many...

Totally respect that answer. How would you advise one whom has a child and is unhappy?

Me and my bf went on a date with my best friend and her bf and His best friend and my bf was being so annoying and saying stuff that should not be said I told him my ass was off limits but he slapped it 3 times , he got pissed of at me BC I was ignoring him BC he punched me in the stomach and tiled me over!! Don't know what to so help ~p~13

Hi there I have been with my bf for 15yrs and I'm starting to feel the same way. We use to fit together so well & now everything I do or say starts a argument. But we have a daughter together I always tell myself that I need to make work for her. But it's tiring and not sure if I can put fourth the effort that is required to be put back into the relationship. He blames me for all the arguments it's always "you started it" when nobody starting anything it was a simple conversation that turned in a fight.
So here's my advice if you haven't been together that long and have no attachments to the person other then you love him. I would tell you to leave because it will never change will only get worse..,But it's only my opinion...Good Luck

Lately I've had the same feelings, we just don't get along. Being that we've been together for 2+ years he and I literally have nothing to talking about. I've never cheated or made any attempt to but I find my self wishing that I could just go home and he wouldn't be there. Because when he is , we just avoid one another. I'm tired of hearing what he has to say, because its never anything mutually interesting. We just bicker about who treats who worse. Like a constant battle. Not to mention when we fight , it gets physical and we ruin sh*t. Although thats only happen a few times does that mean we just dont love one another anymore. We just had a beautiful daughter and she deserves a family, who am I to take away her dad.

Sometimes I wish he would just dump ke ..... But gotta be careful what I wish for.