Sorry you are going through all of this. I'm glad you get to see the GI doc sooner.
My symptoms are about the same, but I'm struggling more than normal because I am trying to work more. The past several weeks I really went easy on myself to reduce stress in the attempts to recover faster. Everything I've read about gastritis said to reduce stress, so I would only work for an hour or two then relax in a quiet room and distract myself from the GI hell with reading or videos. Now, working just brings all of the GI discomfort and lack of brain power to the forefront. I've said this before, if this ordeal hadn't f*cked with my brain and I could work and otherwise live a normal life I'm pretty sure I would be handling the GI issues better. I am very worried that his may have triggered depression. I don't feel sad, but I feel emotionally flat and this scares me most. Is this a result of the brain/axis thing? Is this a stress thing from being sick soooo long? How on earth did a stomach virus wreak so much havoc on my life? Did the stomach flu and/or gastritis disrupt the serotonin production? Did the inflammation in the gut affect my brain function? Is this why we both had the anxiety? Will the insomnia, appetite, normal brain come back when the gastritis heals? In week two and three of this journey I was suffering, but I was not worried about this taking much longer to recover...now I'm scared this will be long and drawn out. So many questions and so few answers.
I don't mean to be such a negative Nelly it's just that I'm not coping well, especially when I wonder how long this will last. Everyday for weeks I think this will be the last day of suffering, especially on the nights that I can eat relatively well. Then I start to wonder....how long will I take to recover, how long will my husband put up with this, how long will my friends put up with this, will I be able to hang on to my clients if I don't recover quickly? I know I need to adopt a positive attitude, but this is what I'm dealing with today.
Enough about me. I have a zillion questions for you:
*Do you feel tired at bedtime? I never do, but eventually I fall a sleep, but wake several times.
*How is your appetite? Are you able to eat 3 meals?
*Is your anxiety better?
*Do you have any depression symptoms...how is your motivation?
*Do you get breaks from the suffering and have any joy in your day?
*Do you get out and see your friends? I'm reluctant to do this in my state.
*Is your hubby being supportive?
*How do you cope with the symptoms do you try to stay busy or do you relax on the couch?
*Did you request the Valium? I'm so tempted to ask for a drug just for a break. I just want to feel normal for a minute...not too much to ask.
Your friend in healing
Lov4k9s
If not for you, I would definitely think I was just plain ol' crazy!!!!
I can totally relate to the mental hamster wheel you describe about this thing. This is the most ridiculously frustrating medical experience in my life - and I am a person who does tend to present with off-beat symptoms to common ailments. I too am having doubts, anxiety, fears etc. about this thing not resolving. I can't believe that it has hijacked our lives to this degree. Further, I can't believe that this level of sickness is simply gastritis. If so many millions of people have gastritis - and that is what we have, how does anyone go to work everyday?????? Cause I'm sure as hell not able to work!!!!!!!! I can relate so much to your first paragraph about attempting to be a normal person and working. The crazy thing is that as I feel a bit better and try to do something, it swings back and I feel really sick again (either the fever comes back or the nausea or the gastric pain, or the diarrhea, or the headache). You know what?: That is f*****g ridiculous!!! That level of "stress" should not be causing this level of sickness and incapacitation.
Yeah, of course we are feeling depressed!!!!!! That seems completely appropriate and sane!!!!!
Please know that every single doubt, worry, question, and concern that you have expressed - I am also grappling with!!!! I ask the same questions about my own life, work, friends, husband.
I am also really worried about loosing credibility and clients. Who gets sick like this?????
To answer your questions-
-I do feel tired at bedtime and I normally fall asleep ok - just wake up multiple times during the night and in the morning, I wake up with extreme anxiety (Yes, still happening - some days worse than others)
-My appetite varies - but in the past few days has been relatively poor - like if I were to get excited about eating something, a shade comes down when I think I shouldn't eat it or it will upset my stomach, and then I feel defeated and loose my appetite.
-Unfortunately, my anxiety is not better - it just is sneaky and pops up in different ways and at different times. I have been meditating 1/2 hour each day and while it inoculates me for a brief time afterwards, the anxiety just comes pouring back. And, as you mentioned, now there is more to be anxious about!!!!! I also wasn't that alarmed for the first few weeks - now, how many weeks has it been - is it 6????? My anxiety is out of control, as a matter of fact!!!!! If I had a Dr. that had two brain cells to rub together, I don't think I would be this upset - but no one is steering this ship!!!! Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to be going to the gastroenterologist at this point, but I am having trouble believing that this is originating in the GI track and a disease of it. I still feel strongly that I have some kind of bug or infection - just don't know why nothing shows on the blood test. One idea that I have been having, could it be Lyme Disease? We do go hiking in the mountains and at the beach - I asked my doctor to test me for this and she never responded. I will ask the Gastroenterologist to test me if she does blood work - which I imagine she will.
-Yes! I am depressed. Interestingly, at the end of my meditation yesterday, I had a wash of sadness float up at the end of the session. I was really surprised at first, then, when I thought about it, it made complete sense to me: Look at the "loss" we are enduring right now!!!!!
-Sadly, I'm not finding much joy these days but thanks for bringing that up because it is important to work on that every day. I have not done any socializing at all. I talk to friends on the phone but that is it. I can't go socialize because it would set me back. I try to distract myself with work now, when I can. I can do some computer work and take care of some e-mails. I'm not effective but feel like I can't do NOTHING, you know?
My husband is pretty supportive but I know he is worried. I am the one who takes care of him and the household stuff. I know that me being out of commission is really scary for him. I am totally freaked out!!!
I didn't request Valium from my Dr. - she wouldn't even give me nausea medication! I do have a few squirreled away. The problem with them is that you just have to lie down afterwards and I'm so frustrated about being incapacitated that I hate the thought of being medicated. Oh god!!!!
Please tell me how you are doing - your current symptoms and your feelings.
Your friend!
-NY!
Hi NY1-
I ditto all of your sentiments!
Physically, I'm pretty much the same, except that ***TMI warning*** late last night I felt some painful cramps out of the blue and then ran to the bathroom for some really nasty, prolonged, strange looking, diarrhea. Earlier in the day i had normal BM, so this really caught me off guard. I have no idea what set that off and I'm concerned that my GI tract is just not working properly. I am ready to get off this roller-coaster now, thank you!
Besides all of the frustrating GI and relate issues that we've already discussed, I'm now struggling with the fact that I was normal, motivated, happy, engaged in life before the stomach flu and now I am a what feels like a shadow of my former self. Sounds melodramatic, but I don't know how else to articulate what I am feeling. My husband is coaching me to not be so introspective and push through this phase, no matter how uncomfortable I am. I agree with him, but I am introspective by nature...so this is my current challenge.
I went to bed late and of course I had the disruptive sleep, so I stayed in bed this morning reading even though I have a ton of work to do. I procrastinated in bed because if I can get lost in reading or watching a video I don't have to "feel" the GI stuff or the brain stuff. I have to confess that after self-soothing for 6 weeks I've read every article and watched every documentary that interests me and I'm bored out of my mind. Despite being bored, I'm not motivated to do much else because of how shitty I feel. I finally showered (which I didn't do the last two days, gross I know) and I'm now at my desk with plans of getting work done while my stomach churns and gurgles and my brain is running in slow-mo.
I think I need to push myself to do more whether it be house work or running an errand, but I always find myself wanting to instead self-soothe on the couch or in bed hiding from all of this because the thought of doing much else sounds "hard', now how lame is that? I did manage to take a walk yesterday afternoon. I'm always curious if you are keeping your house up and doing little projects or if you are "hiding" like I am. I'm fine discussing on this board, but please know that if you ever want to discuss your feelings about coping with this off the public board you can register for this site and send me private messages.
All of that said, I have to remember that two weeks ago I felt way, way worse as the intensity levels of each symptom were 10/10! Now the intensity varies hour by hour, but I would estimate 6-7/10...still high and disruptive, but better than a 10.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Lov4k9s
Ok! I joined as a member - I can't see how to send you a private message? Can you send me one?
NY1
I tried to send you a private message, but you don't show up as an eligible recipient in the system yet. It might be that you are too new to the system or maybe you need more posts as as a registered member to become eligible for private messages. In the top right corner of the webpage you should see your name. Click on your name and you should see messages as one of the options, along with view profile, edit profile, timeline, and logout.
Lov4k9s
Talk soon
-NY1
Hi Lov4k9s - posting again to chat
-NY1
Last week Friday was the first day I felt "normal" in two weeks. Made the mistake of eating a tiny bit of yogurt on a plaintain (which apparently also had red pepper in it unbeknownst to me) and BAM! My glands reacted immediately and I woke up with my throat half closed at 4 in the morning. I had a panic attack...thought I had to go to the ER but thankfully after drinking licorice root tea and lemon the mucus drained from my throat. Things have continued to be bad if not worse ever since. Today I woke up with only a slight headache/slight nausea but after eating applesauce things are tossing and turning again. I'm paranoid to eat anything but how am I supposed to recover if I can't eat??
I'm at work right now losing my mind because I've had to take off so many days and even on a relatively good day things feel unbearable. This week I've just gotten used to running back and forth from the bathroom, thinking I would vomit at any moment (and a few times I was right!). I'm seriously getting to the point where I feel like I will never recover. I've lost 6 pounds and just went to urgent care yesterday where I was told that all my vitals are normal. They're still waiting on blood work but recommended I seek advice from a gastroenterologist asap. The problem is I just started this job two months ago and I'm not even eligible for insurance yet. So $330 of my money just went down the drain to be told to keep following the BRAT diet and pay more money to get [likely] dubious answers about my condition -__-
I'm sorry to not bring much positive light into the situation but I'm relieved I'm not the only one going through this. Other people at my office have gotten sick only for a day or two. I'm on week three with no end in sight. Brown rice and chicken bone broth are the ONLY things I can eat without feeling like hell *immediately* after. I'd love to keep in touch with you all here as I need a better coping mechanism than bitching at my partner who is tired of hearing it all by now. Thank you so much for all you have shared. I will read over things you have written but just had to get this out...I'm almost to the point of tears to finally find other people going through this terrible ordeal :_(
If anyone is still following this thread/has any advice or coping tips please contact me. I'm not sure if my messages work yet (just created an account after posting as "guest" above) but I'm needing a bit of sanity working through this situation. Thanks so much!!
Wow! I just finished reading every exchange on this thread and lov4k9s you've managed to describe all my symptoms exactly. I was growing desperate because most sites list "headache" as a symptom of stomach flu but that doesn't even come close to the "zombie brain fog" that I too have experienced consistently for the past 3 weeks.
Other symptoms I can cosign:
-heart palpitations (this was only experienced towards the beginning and after trying to eat dairy)
-dry mouth
-shakiness
-low energy
-inability to focus or function properly (e.g. brain fog)
-lack of appetite (mostly from nausea and being afraid of vomiting)
-worse/more acute symptoms in the morning (usually right around the time I get to the office my overall mental and physical state nosedives...and stress at work is not entirely the cause. I swore it was because the virus is living here in the office and literally attacks me daily but that doesn't sound plausible ;P)
The only thing in addition that I haven't seen mentioned is hearing distortion. I can barely hear out of my left ear sometimes and I wonder if this is connected to the migraine headaches. I also haven't had a fever as far as I can tell (at least every time I've taken my temp it's been normal).
You said it perfectly..this illness has my life on hold. I'm 29, relatively healthy and have never been this sick. I've gotten food poisoned once or twice but the worst I usually ever suffer from are allergies and seasonal colds. I would trade the worst sinus infection over this any day (though I almost don't dare say it just in case this illness is karmic!) I told my partner the other day that I felt like the universe was punishing me for something and I needed answers and was told I was exaggerating. LOL. I *wish* other people truly understood how much pain I am in daily. I definitely have a new found respect for folks who deal with chronic illness. Really can't imagine going through this torture for much longer but may not have a choice. I'm taking notes on all your tips shared and again I do appreciate you being so open here and I feel like I've truly found kindred spirits. Please don't leave meeee (LOL)! Or at least please, PLEASE update if either of you eventually find concrete answers, viable healing sources or finally experience complete healing. Sending love and healing energies to you both!
I'm having a rough day, so my response will be short.
First off, I'm so sorry that you are going through this!
Because you are still vomiting, I'm hopeful for you that you are still just suffering a stomach bug and you will recover soon and not suffer a protracted illness.
Hopefully your blood tests will reveal the culprit and you can treat what ails you. Make sure they test for H. Pylori.
Most of the folks on this board trailed off after 4-5 weeks, so the odds are in favor of you recovering very soon.
Unfortunately, my status hasn't changed since my last update. Rest assured that I will definitely post any relative updates here.
Wishing you a speedy recovery,
Lov4k9s
Hi Lov4k9s, Thanks for taking time out to respond and I'm so sorry you're having a rough day :( It's seriously debilitating to put up with this every day and I know you've been dealing with it longer so trust my heart and thoughts are with you.
Yikes! The rest of my comment got ate up! Continuation...
I will report back when I get my blood test results and will inquire about the test you mentioned. Blood was actually found in the stool sample they performed so I'm not sure what revelations will come from that.
I know it can be a struggle to remain positive but I refuse to believe that this is the new normal for ANY of us. Hope you're able to rest and focus on healing to day. Wishing you a speedy recovery as well!
-Lacura
Sorry to hear you are sick too, and suffering so much!!! I have been sick for 6 weeks and it is really frustrating. It sounds like you may have some kind of parasite with blood in the stool and hopefully, you can get an antibiotic. Unfortunately for me, I tested negative to every thing on the planet so I am desperately trying to get some answers....
We won't leave you alone - keep us updated on your condition and test results.
Feel Better,
-S
Thanks so much for your response and support. I am hoping for some concrete answers but definitely feeling anxious as I've never had to deal with anything quite like this before. Frankly I'm not very trusting when it comes to Western medicine and hate feeling like I'm at the mercy of doctors who will do test upon test (=$$$) with little regard to any potential consequences. They tried to give me a prescription for nausea and I declined as the potential side effects seemed like nothing I wanted to deal with.
I'm a true believer in holistic medicine and I try to follow a pretty healthy diet...which is why I'm doubly astounded by my current condition. I do know that stress has probably been a factor in why my immune system lowered itself in the first place. I lost my grandfather days before the first symptoms started showing (which I brushed off as general malaise).
The doctor I saw was kind but also seemed fairly confused as to why so far everything but having blood in the stool checked out as fine. Also the intensity of the symptoms are worrying for me. But I will keep my fingers crossed for us both that either answers or healing will come swiftly. Take care in the meantime!
-Lacura