(As a note, I made this topic and posted my friends story here so I could show her later and help her through all this. She'd really like to hear about anyone who has been in a situation like hers before, how they dealt with it, and where and if she can get and should get help. Thank you.)
Alright, so my friend, let's call her X, was usually a happy go lucky person. She always had a smile on her face, a bounce in her step, and a joke to crack. X lived a good life, and she didn't have any problems at all. The problems started after this one incident that really shook her and changed her life.
X and I, one of her closest friends, were 14 at the time when it happened. We had been invited to a party, and we went, since the host was a respectable person we could trust, etc. etc.
X and I split off, and apparently she was talking to some 16 year old who neither of us knew. She said he had been nice at first, but then started getting flirty and making her uncomfortable. There were no alcoholic drinks being served, so she knew this dude was sober.
Anyways, I end up not seeing X for a few hours, and when I see her next, she's curled up in the houses guest bathrooms tub, crying her eyes out. She was beaten up badly, and was hurt in more ways than one. She told me the guy had tugged her into a room, locked it, and then raped her.
I was comforting X, and telling her everything was okay, it wasn't her fault, and asking her if she knew his name, anything other than his face. She didn't. I took her home, and she made me swear I wouldn't tell her parents, because she was so ashamed in herself for what she called "letting him do it to me". Which she didn't, no matter how many times I reassured her she had done everything she could, and hadn't let him rape her by any means.
After that, she became quiet, and was afraid of physical touch. X only talked to me, and even then it was rare to get even one word out of her. I did manage to get X to talk to me about what happened and how she was feeling several times, and convinced her out of suicide and assorted things.
We never saw the guy again, so X started getting better very slowly, with loads of help from me. And then she found something out that just had her crashing down the stairs of healment again. She found out she was pregnant.
X thought every single of her choices over, and she was stuck on aborting it for awhile. I of course was supporting her decision and telling her either way, it was her choice, and that she should do what was best for her. X didn't want to tell her parents she was pregnant, because she was still unable to even hint at them what happened to her that night.
X started cutting herself, and almost killed herself one time. That was her first attempt at suicide. Eventually, X decided she couldn't have an abortion, despite the unfortunate way she had gotten pregnant. I told X she'd have to tell her parents now, and she needed to stop hurting herself.
X told her parents, but told them she had gotten pregnant from a one night stand, not rape. Her parents are dissapointed, and do not support her as much as she would have liked. The stress of the pregnancy and the tramua she has is really hurting X, and I can only do so much, and her parents do nothing because they don't know the truth.
X is at her wits end, because he is so ashamed in herself that she doesn't want anyone but me to know. (Note: She was the one who requested for this to be posted so she could get help, and tips on what to do. She is aware her full story is being posted, and is fine with it, since real names are not being used.)
I have tried to have X think about what is best for her, and how if the pregnancy is only hurting her more and reminding her of her traumatic experience, she should terminate it. X says she doesn't want to do that, and will last until she can give the baby up for adoption.
X doesn't want therapy, but I know she needs someone else to talk to besides me. With all the stress of her life now, being pregnant, her poor emotional state, and the tramau of her experience, she has been showing more warning signs of attempting suicide again. She is depressed, and never laughs or smiles anymore. What should she do? And what more can I do to help her?
I think she is facing the problem of depression because she feels that her loveable persons doesn't support her or they are agree with her decisions. So please support her in every situations so that she will come out from her bad situations. You can also take help of a counselor.
Poor girl. How wicked some people are. All you can do is to always be there for her , never lose patience with her. Assure her that there are decent loving caring males out there too and that what happened to her was a crime of opportunity.. she was unlucky because it could have been anyone , she was in the right place and he was able to trap her, but it could have been any girl. These monsters usually harm a victim's esteem as well with their belittling verbal abuse as well as the brutal physical hurt they enjoy inflicting. If you will just 'be there for her through this horrible time' just letting her rage and cry, you will prove yourself to be a supportive angel for her. It really does take a very long time to recover one's sense of self worth after such a traumatic event..Kindest wishes to you.
Hi there. Please tell your friend that I am praying for her. First of all, her parents need to know what really happened. They will definitely support her if they know that she was raped, and they can get her help. I think you should tell her that one of you needs to tell them, and if she doesn't tell them, you should. Secondly, you should really stop trying to convince her to get an abortion. Aborting a child can be a traumatizing experience as well. Thirdly, and this one seems a bit strange, but will make a huge difference, you two should go to church together. Do some research and find a young, welcoming church, and start going there, because God will renew her self-worth and heal her pain.