teenage daughter having sex already!

Im an 18 year old girl and since I was 15 Ive been having sex regularly. Its a shame you didnt feel comfortable enough to speak about it to your mum and with me, my mum kinda guessed i was active so she wasnt too suprised when i told her. i was 15 or 16 at the time. i now live with my boyfriend in his bungalow just me and him. we have sex every night and often during the day and i always make sure ive got supplies (birth control) cos ive had a few scares myself and its not nice. 2 of my friends had a kid at 16 and although me and my boyfriend enjoy sex the thought of being a mother is enough to ALWAYS make sure i have enough birth control/contraception with me. i have heard stories about people getting pregnant when they were on the pill so what im saying is you always gotta be careful. !

This is the wrong approach to things there are a lot of mature people at that age. I am 17 i first had sex when i was 12 and i had it with my next door neighbours daughter (13) we are still in a reletionship today and have not even had arguments. we are both sensible, we are studying hard at school and are both predicted good grades, we both have weekend jobs and have always discussed things with our parents who have always been supportive, thankfully. i think you should talk to your daughter about it all, and try to stay calm, im not a parent and dont want to be for at least another 5 years so i dont know how you feel but, from my experience its best when your parents are calm and supportive rather than "beating their ass"

I am 15 and unfortunately I have failed as a virgin. It makes me sick to my stomach everyday. I am currently NOT sexually active although I'm still with the boy I lost my virginity to. The mistakes teens make these days just get bigger and bigger. I think if your daughter trust you and loves you enough to risk everything and admit to you shes not a virgin, you've done your job as a mother, plenty of girls have sex, not many come clean to it about their mother, no one's forcing her to. You can't decide what they do but if your daughter comes to you with something like this, personally, screaming, yelling, abusive (physically or mentally) won't help. They haven't come to you to disappoint you, they come for your help. Open your heart to her. If she's like me, she's beat herself up about this already. Yeah, I'm sure your going to want to rip her and her boyfriend's heads off. But these things, teenagers do. Even the best. I've always been an A student I praise my mighty God to the fullest and I love love LOVE my momma but some people trust their partner to make something bad become something good, at 15 this isn't possible, no matter how much you love that person, having sex with them at 14,15,16 etc. IS bad. The best thing is, at least she's coming to you saying shes had sex and not that she's pregnant. Once again, if she's anything like me, she already feels beyond stupid about it. I've always told my mom everything and she's always been supportive. I haven't told her, this problem though. The reason I found this form was because I wanted to figure out a way to tell my momma without breaking her heart. If that's possible. I know right now, all I want is support and acceptance and a chance to be a new person without sexual content, but I feel to do that I need my mom to know everything. I've cried at night to God knowing I've failed him, but he's so forgiving, I'm just scared it won't be the same with my momma. Sex is natural so everyone feels the urge but it does not mean it's right. Coming from a mother/daughter relationship kinda like yours, love her, the best you can, love conquers all. Because it's a hard time for you, but it's also going to be hard for your daughter. The best thing I can tell you is, don't let something like this ruin your relationship with your daughter. She's still your baby girl and obviously she still loves her momma or she wouldn't come to you. Things happen, but don't change the way you see her. She's still your baby girl, I know I'll always be my moms, even after I grow up and get married and we're sitting around petting our cats together knitting sweaters for them. All I'm saying is keep your relationship with your daughter. It's not worth losing over anything.

I am a mother of 4, two of which are 15 and 11. I experienced my 15 year old daughter having sex at the young age of 11 and was very dissapointed to say the least. I, in someway had always expected that she would be experimenting at a young age, but not so young. I had planned to talk to her when she turned 12, but she commited the act 3 months after her 11th birthday. I then expressed to her how upset I was, but also opened the lines of communication so that if she felt this feeling again she would come to me first. My problems are these...1, since then I have heard "mom I like girls" and then "no I don't like girls that's nasty...I really like this one boy", She is basically been all over the place since then, but no more sexual experiences, until recently, she is now a freshman in high shcool. My husband and I both work at night, it's been a few years and the trust had finally gotten back where it needed to be, then I find out that on two seperate occasions she had someone in my house overnight. Now I'm angry of course, but try to remind her of our agreement. I explain to her that I am concerned for her safety and I the fact that I want to try and help her not start her teenage and young adult life in the wrong way meaning I want her to be able to enjoy herself without making the mistakes that I or her grandma or great grandma made(of course I didn't dare say it that way). I explained to her that she was heading down a very dangerous path and that I wanted her to simply think more about things before she made decisions like these. My frustration came from the fact that at the time she had a boyfriend, but the boyfriend was not the one she chose to do this with, infact the one she chose is not someone she's even comfortable saying hello to! She literally started to shake one day when we passed him on the street. I don't understand that, how could you have sex with this person you can't even look in the face and say hello to? That's my second problem. Third my 11 year old, I sometimes catch myself kind of taking her freedom away because of what my older daughter has done, when I know I really need to trust her until she gives me a reason not to. Right now i'm at a loss... Any advice???

i am VERY and

Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl and I'm not a virgin. I'm not proud of this. I wasn't smart enough to go to my mom when this happened. Instead I want to my boyfriends mom. This may sound horrible but she was a million times more supportive and nicer then my mom ever was. She helped me out so much and gave me advice. She was the one who got me to tell me mom. When I told her I was grounded. My mothers very old fashioned. She took my phone away my laptop away she made me break up with the guy I thought I was in love with. I know its a silly thing to think a 13 year old could be in love. But I cried for days I wanted to die I had thought of committing suicide so many times. I started smoking because that was my only escape from feeling ashamed from feeling the a horrible child. I've always been a straight A student always in advanced classes at the top of my class. I never had a father and thought my mom was my everything till my personality started rolling in when I was 10. It seemed as if my world was falling onto me and i couldn't do anything to help myself I thought that no one loved me. Then that's when I started becoming a s***. I wore shirts that were low cut some were even see threw. I wore short shorts mini skirts just to get a guys attention. Just so I could feel loved. I always used to make fun of girls like me. But now I realize that well there's a background story to everyone that made them the way they are. Its been 6 months since I told my mom that I had sex and I'm still grounded a week ago I got my phone I'm not allowed to leave home talk to friends with the exception of school. My mom has made my life a living hell. yet I still find a reason to dread on with life. I hate to admit it but I would prefer any mom but mine. I know she wants what's best for her little girl but truth is she's to scared for me and has no parenting skills.

hi i need some advice my daughter is 12 and had a bit of a fumble now the whole area know and she is getting called allsorts , she never actually had intercourse but dd have skin to skin contactshe said if she didnt do it her boyfriend would leave her i darent tell her dad and dont know what to do any advice would be great x

I know this thread is old but reading this I had to reply. I cannot believe the utter callous attitude towards sex these commenters have. At 15 you have  no clue what a stable relationship is. I remember very well being 15. I thought I knew it all too but I assure you that at 31 I look back at my teenaged years and realize I didn't know squat. 1 in 4 Americans has an STD or STI. ONE IN FOUR. YUCK. Condoms do not always protect you from disease or pregnancy. not to mention with the prevalence of oral sex sexually transmitted diseases and infections of the mouth are on the rise. Again, YUCK. 

well i am 14 had sex about a year ago i would talk to you child about it

So im 15 and ive been with my boyfriend for about 5 months and about 2 weeks ago i asked him if he would want to try out sex with me, because i took sex ED and honestly it made me more curious but at the same time more aware and smarter about my actions. But we tried it and honestly i didnt like it like i thought i would and hes very understanding and hes just like me. So i told we should wait a year or two and well my mom just sat on the edge of my bed a couple days ago and asked for complete honesty and asked me if i sex already and told her yes. And she asked where and i told her here, she is very dissapointed in me and more disrescpected that it happened in the house, but she told she appreciated my honesty more than anything. That she will swallow this and try to move on from it and i know it wasnt right but if your daughter tells you and has the comfort to tell you shes had sex then you should appreciate that more than anything because i just didnt want to lie to my mom about this. And if your a parent you should talk to your daughter about sex and show and teach smart ways to protect herself.

Dorie: I just caught my niece's (15) boyfriend naked in her closet. I'm the babysitter!. My brother has gotten violent over her past performances, grounded her for the summer, no phone, no nothing--it doesn't work. On the other hand, accepting it, putting her on the pill, allowing failing grades, going out with him, etc. won't work either.



A person so young is NOT mature enough to recognize what early sex can do to self-esteem and a good future. Love comes from the heart not the pants...unfortunately, females give sex for love, and males give love for sex. Period. They can call it love if they want, but it is what it is.

Love comes from the heart not the pants. True love is only possible if we truly love ourselves and do not require sex to define us. "Stable" relationships are non-existent at 15, an age that just follows puberty! get real Lauren

ok im 18 and me and my partner have had sex. her mom found out that we did and is extreamly pissed about it (she is 16) we have been going out for half a year and her mom wont let me see her anymore. i want to let her mom know that it was an act of love and not a hit it quit it type deal. i do see her mothers point of view and i would like her to know that i will be there for her. how should i talk to her mother what should i say and how long befor i should call her mom to talk to her and regain her trust?

There's nothing you can say. She will not trust you with her daughter nor will she trust her daughter. It's not just the possibility of pregnancy, it's the self respect that is lost. Once you two have done it, you will continue with others as well. She should report you to the cops.

My daughter is early 13yrs and told me that this year 2012, she is going to have sex. She tells me she is ready but doesn't want children until she is 30. My shock came when she told me that she has already given 3 boys oral! Without protection-at that age! Strange. What do we do!? 1. She must be safe, happy, her self esteem in tact and get as much out of school as possible. But I never thought this. I think each school (despite its record) has behaviours that are passed down e.g. from year 10s to year 9s, the expectations etc. If I get help about this I don't want legal charges against the kids. I'm lost too. Just stay open and let them experiment in safety (except in your home in case you get charged!? I'm confused too.