teenage daughter having sex already!

Vyonna wrote:

casandra wrote:

Hi, my daughter is 15 years old and she is having sex already. She has a boyfriend for four months and she told me they are sleeping together for some time. In the first moment I was shocked because she is so young and I didn't expect it yet. I am little confused and I don't know how to react. If someone had similar problem please tell me what did you do?

My daughter is early 13yrs and told me that this year 2012, she is going to have sex. She tells me she is ready but doesn't want children until she is 30. My shock came when she told me that she has already given 3 boys oral! Without protection-at that age! Strange. What do we do!? 1. She must be safe, happy, her self esteem in tact and get as much out of school as possible. But I never thought this. I think each school (despite its record) has behaviours that are passed down e.g. from year 10s to year 9s, the expectations etc. If I get help about this I don't want legal charges against the kids. I'm lost too. Just stay open and let them experiment in safety (except in your home in case you get charged!? I'm confused too.

The only confusion here is your choice to go along with it; it's easier than doing something about it. Your job is to teach self respect and maintain your position of truth and knowledge. Treat your children as you treat your country--adherence to the truth, fairness, and love. Perhaps this sounds native to you, but you must stand by your parental duties. Do not allow the sex. If necessary, send her to a girl's home.

When you get older and become mature, you will understand that having sex at an early age does affect your self esteem, your self worth and your reputation. Did you ever experience getting needy when the guy wants to say goodbye. He wants to move on while you want to hang on - because you have been used. You think you are in love, but it is all an infatuation. For a guy, getting sex is the ultimate prize for him. For you, it is something precious taken away. Trust me... you understand when you are in your 20's. There is no such thing as commitment at 15. You need a reality check.

Hi I'm 15 I become sexualy active when I was 14. And you know it was with a guy that I didn't know. I think u should be pleased that at least she is doing it with someone she cares about. My dad found out and the thought that he can control me and make me stop. Honestly when he said that I laughed. But I think u really need to teach her about stdS and stuff the best you can. Even though it's with her boyfriend she can still get it if the boy cheats on her with another girl. And for her to listen about stuff like this don't be demanding it tell her almost like ur her friend. Or even have an aunt or older girl cousin tell her about stds bc when my parents tell me this stuff I don't take it seriously I do when someone else does. And buy her condoms to bc would u rather be paying for those or diapers and baby clothes? I

Just a littel note for you, Just be cause you gave consent, if you were undere the influnice of any meds or alcohol then it is RAP. There is a law that stats as much. And if he was indeed sober, then he should be in jail for his crime. And yes this is coming from a guy. What your mom and dad, and i o't sure you get is that he took from you your sober right to chose what hapens to you body. I hope that there are no long turm effects on you or your body. Good luck to you.

I am 16 and have been recently engaged in sexual intercourse with my girlfriend of one year. 

I avoid telling MY parents because the religion they follow (Catholic) is generally strict when it comes to sexual encounters since it relies strongly on the "sex after marriage" concept. Even being pressured by my mother to NOT have sex at this age and wait until marriage, I learned the risks, took a few sexual education classes in private and just let things flow. 

However, I did this because my brother had always been the one supporting my decisions. Many of my friends have had unprotected sex in response to their parent's lack of interest. Consequently, one of them is a father at 14. 

 

Your daughter telling you this is something remarkable. Do NOT waste this chance to be close to her. I know it hurts to see your daughter in the arms of another guy but you have to understand she is a teenager and teenagers are curious machines. 

 

Teach her further safety tips - make SURE she knows what she is doing. Also, men are decieving creatures (you can see the obvious). Teach her to be on top of her game, or in other words, not let the guy control her. Sex involves both not one, right? 

 

I wish I had the priviledge of being able to tell my mom and be supported, but I am sure her religion is greater than the safety of her son. 

hi casandra i live in ocean city,md at this location in maryland they considered stattory rape because both parties are under age im an under cover cop and situtations in your case your can defend your daughter by telling her that youre gonna presute rape charges if this doesn,t stop

Well, I'm a 16 year old girl, nearing 17, and I lost my virginity on my 15th birthday. Admittedly, I was just "curious", and we both agreed it was a complete mistake, and it was the most awkward, horrible night of my life. This said, nothing my mother, dead father, friends, or this boy could have told me would have made a lick of difference. Maybe not that night, maybe not with that boy, but in the end, it's something that a girl (or boy, i'd imagine) has to find out for themselves. It was almost a year (11 months, about) before I had sex again. With the same boy, after our relationship was 6 months underway, and while it was still awkward, it was beautiful, amazing, and loving. We've now been together almost 2 years, and we have an active and healthy sex life, ripe with contraceptives and precautions, I assure. Our parents aren't supportive, and regrettably, we have to hide it. They cannot imagine that we could be mature enough to handle a sexual relationship, and maybe the fact that we "sneak around" supports that theory. However, I don't regret it, because we have grown so much closer, so much more trusting, and so much happier. Even if we were to break up, he will always be my best friend, and I truly believe that we are capable of handling this, and that the second time, we were "ready". He's the only man I've been with, and I'm the only girl he's ever been with, and I think there's a very real chance that we still might be saying that in 40 years. I'm a down-to-earth person (I think) and I have a hard time trusting people, but I truly believe that love is possible at our age. It's something that evolves and grows as you age and you get closer and closer with your Other Half, and perhaps changes completely from my age to adulthood. Certainly we aren't the same blushing, grinning, quick-kiss-on-the-cheek, best friend couple we were two years ago. But I honestly cannot imagine my life without him anymore.

You are not a counselor, you are a pig full of bad advice. Sex is not something that should be experimented with by children. Do you have any idea why the courts protect CHILDREN under 18 years old with special laws? You are an id**t.

Hello Casandra, Sorry if I'm a bit late responding to this but I would love to share some advice for you and others. I'm a 17 year old female and have been sexually active since I was 14! Very young, but teens at this day and age are having sex at even earlier ages. Doesn't mean it's right or okay but it is happening. After I had lost my virginity I decided I was going to take responsibility and tell my conservative mom that I was having sex and that I would like to be put on birth control. I wish my mom had responded differently. She yelled, cried, even called me a s*** and then ignored me for the rest of the day. She ended up telling my dad (how embarrassing) and we all had a family meeting. We talked about everything from pregnancy to STD's but I ended up getting grounded. Yep, I was grounded for being open and honest with my parents. Let me say, them not wanting me to have sex sure as hell did not stop me. In fact, I became even more sneaky and began to lie to them. Even now I don't think I can ever fully go to them without being scared of how the will react. What I would do if I were you, or anyone in this situation, is remain calm (no matter how hard that may be). Talk to your teen and tell them why you're worried and disappointed (who would be worried or disappointed in their teenager having sex?). Get them on birth control because once a teenager has had sex 99% of the time they're going to continue and nothing their parents say will stop them. Let them know you're here to talk and tell them about the risk and responsibility that comes with sex. Things are different now than they were even 10 years ago, there's sex almost everywhere you look. You see it on TV, hear about it in songs and all of us teenagers have friends who have done the deed. You can't shield your child from sex, so even before you find out they've done it by snooping around or having them confess it's best to go ahead and talk to your child about sex. Most teenagers, no matter what the relationship is like with their parents, wont tell them they're having/thinking about sex. Talk with them now. Best of luck!

im a believer in putting them on the pill once they start their period! So they can make choice an not worry about getting prego! I DID THAT WITH MY 2 GIRLS!There dad was very angry with me! But I knew my girls the oldest is 18 now an in college an the 16 yr old is a s***! That
sounds harsh but its a fact! like mom is. jill

Oh my gawd, whatever yoi do- don't get pregnant. Not only is your logic arbitrary but it also seems that you are uneducated because you have no idea what the difference between a period and a comma- is... Good gawd go back to school and stop having sex.

Amen! to that 16 yo male. Now there is a smart guy that would make a great boyfriend. Sex and love is an adult subject matter - if you are doing something that "you cannot tell your parents because you will get in trouble" then you know its wrong!!!!!!!!! Most adults can't figure out the real meaning of love until their 30s, what the heck makes a child think they know when they are in love????? gimme a break honestly!! Love and respect yourself enough to know that its not the end all-be all in life! Grow up and figure out who you are first. Real love comes when its supposed to, it cannot be orchestrated. Half the kids on this blog, with the except of this 16 yo male, don't even sound like they have a 6 grade education, let alone be ready to be in an adult sexual relationship! Get through English 101 and Grammar 101 first - those are the things you should be concerned with at this age. Priorities kiddies!!!!! You turn 13 and suddenly you cannot wait to be an adult and want to do adult things. Well, real adults - they set priorities and they use responsibility, education, morals and self worth to make appropriate well thought out decisions. You obviously aren't ready for that yet! Enjoy being a kids. There are no regrets in life, just lessons - DON'T LEARN A LESSON THE HARD WAY!!!! You may feel you are free to make your own choices, however, there are always CONSEQUENCES to those choices - you get those for free too! STATISTICS DON'T LIE! WAKE UP!

I know this discussion began quite a few years ago, but my daughter started having sex at 13, and is now having random sex with strangers. I have spoke to her so many times about respecting herself, the consequences and have stayed open with her. I got her on birth control, but how can I get her to understand having multiple partners, not being in a relationship is not how she should handle this. I have her in therapy, I have been open with her, and she "just wants to do what" she "wants" and doesn't care about the consequences. She is intelligent, makes straight A's, but is having sex like it is no big deal. She sneaks around and then tells me afterward. I've done everything. What do I do?????

So true. I started having sex when I was 13ish and to a much older guy. We did it so much, everyday after school and at weekends it went on and on. To me nothing else mattered and he was my very first for everything. I used to go to his place without my parents knowing and I used to stay with him at weekends. My friends would cover for me and I would cover for them. We all want sex. It doesnt matter if the guy is the same age or older. Sex is sex and we all want to have sex.
As you have rightly pointed out, it is important to be prepared and make sure you take precautions and dont end up with STDs or pregnant and also not get involved with drugs or alcohol.

the law is stupid. No one has any regard for the law. Teens will have sex with whoever they want. For the number of teens being caught there are thousands who are happily having sex with much older boyfriends. So it doesnt matter how much social priming and brainwashing goes on in society. Sex is instinctive and a biological need. It will happen. Artificial laws will never control such urges.