I need help. I'm not that experienced in sex but am wanting to be able to do more sexually without having pain.
Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
%-) :'(
study up on some yoga.
there is a great chance it will promote flexibility and stamina and help you to express your body more dynamically.
I think it is called positions.com
but if that doesn't link, try sexualpositions.com
Good luck.
Ladies,
While nothing will replace the dominance and control tat woman-on-top brings, are some other positions that can/will allow less stress on the areas of concern.
One could be called the T-bone, but is more commonly called the side-recoumbant=lateral. All that really means, is that the woman lies on her back with her knees bent and "over" her partner's buttox. The man lays on his side and in a spooning shape, craddles or curves around her bottom, making entry from either the left or right. This releives any pressure on the hip bone, but may involve some positioning of her legs to ride up and over his rocking hips. Oral or nipple play is also possible depending on the height of the man and size of the woman. Certainly his hands are free to stroke and carees.
This position is commonly illustrated in self-help books like "Sex for one" by Dr. Betty Dodson, "Our Boddies, Ourselves" by the Boston Womens' Colective, and most other sex position books.
Perhaps some other women might post a few alternative positions that have worked for them.
And if a medical person would weigh in, perhaps there is some help there also.
PS: Another position that alters that stress on the hips: The woman lies on her back, and the man kneels between her legs, but instead of straight missionary position, he lifts her legs or ankles and spreads them like a V (like adjusting old TV areals antennas in the past) while not spreading too far or over extending her legs or knees. The woman needs to keep him in contact with what's too far a spread, or what feels good. He then thrusts from the hips, opening and closing her legs in front of him, or resting them on his shoulders.
I work with women who experience exactly this. this can easily be resolved as a body therapist and movement coach I can help you.
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While I am plus size now, I was NOT when I started having this problem. (It flattened me for several years, and I got very out of shape.) I have the same kinds of issues with sex, and it is due to "psoas syndrome." It is very common because most daily and typical exercise activities cause the psoas to contract without giving it a break to do other things. What will help is doing yoga with an emphasis on "hip opening" exercises and building core strength. Take it very easy, because any little thing can set you back. Go gently, but persistently. Do it at least 2 times a week - 3 is better, but be sure to always have 2 rest days a week! Some poses that are really good for it are Pigeon, Happy Baby, Butterfly, Cat/Cow, Forward Fold, and of course all the lunges and reaching for your feet ones. Fortunately, you don't need to be able to do any of the showy Asanas to make a big difference in your pain levels. And Savasana is REALLY important, because of all your muscles, your psoas is the best at tightening right back up if you don't lie there staying purposefully relaxed. Also, set yourself a timer and every 20 minutes of sitting, get up and do a light stretch or take a few steps. Expect to make very tiny incremental progress with a few big leaps forward that come out of nowhere, not because you're pushing. As for sex, take breaks. If you have to think of it as couple's edging, do that, but you need to have your fun and then stretch out your legs and back before resuming, as often as necessary.