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I am unable to open my legs up wide during sex. My main concern is that during sex, my hips (mainly the right side) causes me a lot of pain. This pain is much more evident and inhibiting for me when I am on top. Due to the physical pain, I don't feel comfortable being in this position because I feel like and id**t because of my lack mobility/skill and stamina. I am a plus size woman and I thought this could be the reason why I have such difficulty.

I need help. I'm not that experienced in sex but am wanting to be able to do more sexually without having pain.

Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.




%-) :'(
practice vinyasa.

study up on some yoga.

there is a great chance it will promote flexibility and stamina and help you to express your body more dynamically.
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Another resource is the website devoted to various sexual positions.
I think it is called positions.com
but if that doesn't link, try sexualpositions.com

Good luck.
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I have this exact issue and being only 26 it really, really sucks.
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I have this problem as well and I'm 22.
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Ladies,

While nothing will replace the dominance and control  tat woman-on-top brings,  are some other positions that can/will allow less stress on the areas of concern.

One could be called the T-bone, but is more commonly called the side-recoumbant=lateral.  All that really means, is that the woman lies on her back with her knees bent and "over" her partner's buttox.  The man lays on his side and in a spooning shape, craddles or curves around her bottom, making entry from either the left or right.  This releives any pressure on the hip bone, but may involve some positioning of her legs to ride up and over his rocking hips.  Oral or nipple play is also possible depending on the height of the man and size of the woman.  Certainly his hands are free to stroke and carees.

This position is commonly illustrated in self-help books like "Sex for one" by Dr. Betty Dodson, "Our Boddies, Ourselves" by the Boston Womens' Colective, and most other sex position books.

 

Perhaps some other women might post a few alternative positions that have worked for them.

And if a medical person would weigh in, perhaps there is some help there also.

 

PS: Another position that alters that stress on the hips:  The woman lies on her back, and the man kneels between her legs, but instead of straight missionary position, he lifts her legs or ankles and spreads them like a V (like adjusting old TV areals antennas in the past) while not spreading too far or over extending her legs or knees.  The woman needs to keep him in contact with what's too far a spread, or what feels good.  He then thrusts from the hips, opening and closing her legs in front of him, or resting them on his shoulders.

 

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You can try stretching, yoga etc but do not ignore the possibility of your hips being structurally unable to open very much. I have stretched all my life and have never been able to even sit indian style; neither can any of my siblings. I have come to face that my hips just aren't made that way. When you try to stretch you should be able to feel your hamstring and inner thigh muscles lengthening. If you feel that your actual hip bone is not moving in the socket, you may be like me.
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You can try stretching, yoga etc but do not ignore the possibility of your hips being structurally unable to open very much. I have stretched all my life and have never been able to even sit indian style; neither can any of my siblings. I have come to face that my hips just aren't made that way. When you try to stretch you should be able to feel your hamstring and inner thigh muscles lengthening. If you feel that your actual hip bone is not moving in the socket, you may be like me.
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Recently have gone through PT for hip flexor issues. This happens to me. I happen to be super flexible. The problem - no muscle. So although yoga is good- Pilates would be better. Too much stretching is actually worse. Size- has nothing to do with it- I lost 28lbs recently and hip flexor is a problem a lot of runners have...the sucky part is climaxing and having it lock :( I think I might start those hip flexor strengthening exercises again...
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I work with women who experience exactly this. this can easily be resolved as a body therapist and movement coach I can help you.

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I had the same issue and I'm only 21. Try hip flexor strengthening techniques and stretches, as well as soaking yourself in a warm bath with espson salt. That's what I'm trying.
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Hiya SexlessG,

While I am plus size now, I was NOT when I started having this problem. (It flattened me for several years, and I got very out of shape.) I have the same kinds of issues with sex, and it is due to "psoas syndrome." It is very common because most daily and typical exercise activities cause the psoas to contract without giving it a break to do other things. What will help is doing yoga with an emphasis on "hip opening" exercises and building core strength. Take it very easy, because any little thing can set you back. Go gently, but persistently. Do it at least 2 times a week - 3 is better, but be sure to always have 2 rest days a week! Some poses that are really good for it are Pigeon, Happy Baby, Butterfly, Cat/Cow, Forward Fold, and of course all the lunges and reaching for your feet ones. Fortunately, you don't need to be able to do any of the showy Asanas to make a big difference in your pain levels. And Savasana is REALLY important, because of all your muscles, your psoas is the best at tightening right back up if you don't lie there staying purposefully relaxed. Also, set yourself a timer and every 20 minutes of sitting, get up and do a light stretch or take a few steps. Expect to make very tiny incremental progress with a few big leaps forward that come out of nowhere, not because you're pushing. As for sex, take breaks. If you have to think of it as couple's edging, do that, but you need to have your fun and then stretch out your legs and back before resuming, as often as necessary.
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Wow I thought I was the only one. Even when I'm on my back. It's like the pressur3 is too much and I have to stop cause it locks up and the pain is crazy until I straighten my legs out. I'm not a fan of yoga so I hope there are more options.
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I agree but if the pain continues see a doctor I’m a dancer and have had problems for a little while with this pain and it was caused by seeking in my hip muscle.
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I had this issue as well. Turned out, due to my anatomy, I had a torn labrum in my hip. You may want to see your doctor if you haven’t. Surgical fix and I am 100% better
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