So here's the situation:
I am 19 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 5+ years. We love each other deeply and have recently made the mutual decision to have sex. We both did a lot of reading beforehand and are prepared with condoms, lubrication, and birth control. The problem is that we have tried about 3 times now and penetration has never been possible because it has been EXTREMELY painful for me.
Now, he goes absolutely at my pace. He's as slow as I need him to be, I'm totally in control of everything and we've even tired several different positions. But even when all he does is insert a finger or two, the pain is just so bad that I just can't go through with it. We use extra lubrication, we have plenty of foreplay, and I'm pretty turned on before he even thinks to try and put anything into me, but we just can't get past 2 fingers (and mind you, he can't move them, they're just kind of in there). I cry from the pain. >_<
Now, I know that a hymenectomy is an option and I'm seriously considering it when I go back to school and can talk to my gynecologist again. But in the meantime, I really want to try and do it with him and not have to resort to that. Now I read somewhere that some people use an oral anesthetic to try and avoid the pain if it's too much (something like anbesol or orajel), and I was wondering if this was safe, if anyone (preferably female) has tried it and can testify to it, or any other information would be great.
I am 19 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 5+ years. We love each other deeply and have recently made the mutual decision to have sex. We both did a lot of reading beforehand and are prepared with condoms, lubrication, and birth control. The problem is that we have tried about 3 times now and penetration has never been possible because it has been EXTREMELY painful for me.
Now, he goes absolutely at my pace. He's as slow as I need him to be, I'm totally in control of everything and we've even tired several different positions. But even when all he does is insert a finger or two, the pain is just so bad that I just can't go through with it. We use extra lubrication, we have plenty of foreplay, and I'm pretty turned on before he even thinks to try and put anything into me, but we just can't get past 2 fingers (and mind you, he can't move them, they're just kind of in there). I cry from the pain. >_<
Now, I know that a hymenectomy is an option and I'm seriously considering it when I go back to school and can talk to my gynecologist again. But in the meantime, I really want to try and do it with him and not have to resort to that. Now I read somewhere that some people use an oral anesthetic to try and avoid the pain if it's too much (something like anbesol or orajel), and I was wondering if this was safe, if anyone (preferably female) has tried it and can testify to it, or any other information would be great.
When I did lose my virginity, it was one of the worst pains I had ever had, aside from breaking my leg. I did cry, but I continued through with it, because I figured, if I stopped it would just be worse the next time.
It hurt for about the first few weeks, I think just because of my small size, and my boyfriends ehm larger size areas. But after I got use to the feeling, it started to not hurt, and now it does not hurt at all. We we first started, if we would not do it for a few days, it would begin to hurt again the next time, if we put it off for more then a week, I actually tore once! Trust me there was plenty of lube, but I was just to small, and not used to it yet, so his member actually tore me a bit. I think you should just keep working at it, try to think past the pain, don't be afraid to cry, it really does take some getting used to for some people. I know it took me along time before I did not experience any after pain, now its pain free.
Sorry I could not be better help, my best wishes to you!
It hurt for about the first few weeks, I think just because of my small size, and my boyfriends ehm larger size areas. But after I got use to the feeling, it started to not hurt, and now it does not hurt at all. We we first started, if we would not do it for a few days, it would begin to hurt again the next time, if we put it off for more then a week, I actually tore once! Trust me there was plenty of lube, but I was just to small, and not used to it yet, so his member actually tore me a bit. I think you should just keep working at it, try to think past the pain, don't be afraid to cry, it really does take some getting used to for some people. I know it took me along time before I did not experience any after pain, now its pain free.
Sorry I could not be better help, my best wishes to you!