Hey there, reader!
Before I get started, I just want to say that I myself am not the one seeing a gynecologist - That would be my girlfriend. We've been together for two and a half years or so now, but ever since our first time "together," sex has hurt her... Penetration hurts, and the pain gets worse the logner we go, lasting for hours or even a couple of days afterwards in the most severe cases. We've tried a lot, from different styles of foreplay, to not talking about sexual stuff untill it happens so it comes as a surprise, to taking long breaks or having sex more often, to see if it's just something her body needs to adapt to. Unfortuantly, nothing helps.
Each time she goes to her doctors, they just write it off as Thrush and send her on her way. Honestly, they're useless. I've tried getting treatment at the same time as her incase I have whatever she has and keep returning it after she's treated, but that didn't work. We do use condoms, so I doubt I could give her anything I have anyway, though I'm clean so far as I'm aware.
But to cut a long story short, nothing's worked, and so she's agreed if i can get the details of a local gynecologist, we'll talk more about going to see one. She walks to look before she leaps, know mroe about seeing one ebfore she agrees to do it.
So my question... Questions, actually. I've a few.
What's the best way of getting to see a gynecologist? I've tried Googling the area I live in, but I just don't know what to search for to get what I'm after and I've had no luck.
Does visiting a gynecologist cost..? If so, how much? She's 17, so she might get the service for free as she's under 18. Money's a big issue, as we aren't exactly loaded :-/
What should we (She) expect? Something she's worried about is the fact that there's gonna be a person poking about down there... I doubt it's a nice thing to think of for any woman, having a stranger look you over, so what should we expect to happen?
Would I be able to sit in the room while the examination happens? I know she'd hate to be alone, and I dare to say my presence would be a little bit comforting if nothing else.
Anything you think I should know that I havn't asked about? Please, feel free to tell me, my ears are open.
As I said before, sex has always hurt her, but her doctors are simply terrible and nothing we've tried seems to help stop the pain, or even to ease it, and I'm tired of hurting her. I want to have an active sex life, I want her to really enjoy it and to want it as much as I do, but I don't want to hurt her anymore. I feel seeing a specialist is the next logical step towards helping her.
My sincerest thanks to anyone who can help me,a nd her, out, be it by answering the questions above, giving any other tidbits of information you might think would be useful, or even suggesting what might be causing her pain.
Before I get started, I just want to say that I myself am not the one seeing a gynecologist - That would be my girlfriend. We've been together for two and a half years or so now, but ever since our first time "together," sex has hurt her... Penetration hurts, and the pain gets worse the logner we go, lasting for hours or even a couple of days afterwards in the most severe cases. We've tried a lot, from different styles of foreplay, to not talking about sexual stuff untill it happens so it comes as a surprise, to taking long breaks or having sex more often, to see if it's just something her body needs to adapt to. Unfortuantly, nothing helps.
Each time she goes to her doctors, they just write it off as Thrush and send her on her way. Honestly, they're useless. I've tried getting treatment at the same time as her incase I have whatever she has and keep returning it after she's treated, but that didn't work. We do use condoms, so I doubt I could give her anything I have anyway, though I'm clean so far as I'm aware.
But to cut a long story short, nothing's worked, and so she's agreed if i can get the details of a local gynecologist, we'll talk more about going to see one. She walks to look before she leaps, know mroe about seeing one ebfore she agrees to do it.
So my question... Questions, actually. I've a few.
What's the best way of getting to see a gynecologist? I've tried Googling the area I live in, but I just don't know what to search for to get what I'm after and I've had no luck.
Does visiting a gynecologist cost..? If so, how much? She's 17, so she might get the service for free as she's under 18. Money's a big issue, as we aren't exactly loaded :-/
What should we (She) expect? Something she's worried about is the fact that there's gonna be a person poking about down there... I doubt it's a nice thing to think of for any woman, having a stranger look you over, so what should we expect to happen?
Would I be able to sit in the room while the examination happens? I know she'd hate to be alone, and I dare to say my presence would be a little bit comforting if nothing else.
Anything you think I should know that I havn't asked about? Please, feel free to tell me, my ears are open.
As I said before, sex has always hurt her, but her doctors are simply terrible and nothing we've tried seems to help stop the pain, or even to ease it, and I'm tired of hurting her. I want to have an active sex life, I want her to really enjoy it and to want it as much as I do, but I don't want to hurt her anymore. I feel seeing a specialist is the next logical step towards helping her.
My sincerest thanks to anyone who can help me,a nd her, out, be it by answering the questions above, giving any other tidbits of information you might think would be useful, or even suggesting what might be causing her pain.
Hi Uthly,
It helps to know where you live for some of the questions you are asking. Things are vastly different between say the US and the UK for example.
Gynecologist do "cost" and prices vary depending where you live and how involved the exam. It may be covered under health insurance. There are some "clinics" that do not charge but they usually only provide basic health care.
To find a gynecologist, ask her current doctor for a referral. If you can't/won't do that, then check in the phone book or at your local hospital.
She can expect an internal exam. Generally she is in a somewhat reclined position with her legs in stirrups, then an instrument called a "speculum" is used to open the vagina for examination. A PAP smear is usually done at the same time, it's just a little swab that collects some cells, not painful. After that a physical exam is performed. The doctor inserts his fingers into the vagina and presses around the area.
It may be uncomfortable and somewhat embarrassing but it should not be painful.
At 17 she is considered a minor. You would not be allowed to be in the room during the exam. Boyfriend or not, you are not her parent or guardian.
You're a good guy to worry about her like this. Good luck.
Hope it helps.
Thanks for the responce medic-dan :) I live in the UK, so we do have free health care, which makes me think the examination won't cost. If it does, I'll just have to suck it up and ask my parents for help. Depending how much it is, anyways, heh. It's a bit disheartening to hear I won't be allowed to stay in the room, but I'll ask anyway. If it turns out I can't, I won't be far away. I'll mention visiting her doctors about setting up an appointment with someone.
Thanks again for your help!
Thanks again for your help!
I'm in the US Uthly so it is very different here. Maybe they'll let you in the room too. I can't say. Over here, no way.
I would think she should be able to see someone. These visits are common for young women and should be covered.
Good luck.
I would think she should be able to see someone. These visits are common for young women and should be covered.
Good luck.