guest wrote:
Stop hurting yourself and wait. I guess you haven't had a period yet. So when you do you should be able to ask her how to insert a tampon. Once you learn how to get one of those in there, getting your finger in should be easy.
Okay i have the same problem but im 11 oh what to do what to do and when i do finger myself it hurts and i bleed it hurts so much but im scared to tell my mom! What do i do???
Stop hurting yourself and wait. I guess you haven't had a period yet. So when you do you should be able to ask her how to insert a tampon. Once you learn how to get one of those in there, getting your finger in should be easy.
There is so much information available on the net to help you and your bf get ideas about what to try. All you need to do is keep trying. Maybe you're both getting to stressed about it. Just let him have fun playing with your parts and relax and enjoy his touch.
And remember, your friends are all notorious liars.
At 17 you are certainly mature enough to experience everything sex has to offer. The only thing that changes as you get older is your level of experience.
Lay back, relax and have fun.
And remember, your friends are all notorious liars.
At 17 you are certainly mature enough to experience everything sex has to offer. The only thing that changes as you get older is your level of experience.
Lay back, relax and have fun.
JasmineIris wrote:
I for one dont think its all that strange that you are having issues orgasiming... I didnt lose my virginity till i was 19 and although i enjoyed sex it was not until i was 22 when i had my first orgasim during sex, However when i masterbated i didnt have any problems finishing. Now that i am 24 i know what works for me and i orgasim more often then not.
It is a bit strange (sorry) that you dont feel much when you touch yourself... Maybe you need to turn yourself on first watch porn or just rub your body before you get started... You have to be in the right state of mind before you get there.
You have to stay focused on how good it feels cause once your mind starts to go somewhere else its hard to get back on track, so stay focused and relaxed you will get there soon enough.
If it doesnt work just try enjoying sex and stop worrying about the orgasim....
You've really got to know your body. Find out what feels good. Your orgasm is heavily psychological-- if you don't feel comfortable, if you're worried, if you're stressed out or tired, or various other circumstances can make it much harder to reach orgasm. Remember to relax, don't try to set up a goal to orgasm. Just enjoy yourselves, have fun, be romantic and playful. Sex isn't something that should have any expectations to it. It's up to the couple to decide how far they want to go, want they want to try, and what determines "good" sex. If sex becomes comfortable, enjoyable, and stress-free for you, then reaching your orgasm will be much more comfortable.
If you're both enjoying yourselves then there's nothing wrong with you not having an orgasm. Set up some candles, eat a nice dinner, talk dirty, FOREPLAY, have him go down and stimulate you a bit, get you really hot, and THEN when you REALLY want it, have him go all in. And remember, tell him what's working and what isn't. You have to communicate with a guy because men don't have the slightest clue of what works and what doesn't unless you tell them. The man will feel more comfortable with a little bit of constructive criticism as opposed to shooting in the dark. I remember when I first started out I would see my girlfriend panting and I'd think I was doing great, when in reality it was starting to hurt, or where she was sitting there biting her lip and closing her eyes and I thought she was in pain-- when in reality she was afraid of screaming and moaning while the neighbors had their window open.
Practice with yourself and tell your boyfriend what worked and what didn't, tell him what to do when he's down there, talk to him about your deepest fantasies. relax before sex-- perhaps ask him for a massage-- and FOREPLAY FOREPLAY FOREPLAY. Most of all, DON'T WORRY. It feels good for you, and it feels good for him, so you're both doing a great job.
If you're both enjoying yourselves then there's nothing wrong with you not having an orgasm. Set up some candles, eat a nice dinner, talk dirty, FOREPLAY, have him go down and stimulate you a bit, get you really hot, and THEN when you REALLY want it, have him go all in. And remember, tell him what's working and what isn't. You have to communicate with a guy because men don't have the slightest clue of what works and what doesn't unless you tell them. The man will feel more comfortable with a little bit of constructive criticism as opposed to shooting in the dark. I remember when I first started out I would see my girlfriend panting and I'd think I was doing great, when in reality it was starting to hurt, or where she was sitting there biting her lip and closing her eyes and I thought she was in pain-- when in reality she was afraid of screaming and moaning while the neighbors had their window open.
Practice with yourself and tell your boyfriend what worked and what didn't, tell him what to do when he's down there, talk to him about your deepest fantasies. relax before sex-- perhaps ask him for a massage-- and FOREPLAY FOREPLAY FOREPLAY. Most of all, DON'T WORRY. It feels good for you, and it feels good for him, so you're both doing a great job.
I am now 23. I did not learn to stimulate my clitoris to orgasm until my early 20s! I found it too sensitive before, but I was determined. I worked on my technique and was very pleased when I reached climax.
I lost my virginity when 16, and never got into sex at this time - too early, perhaps. My first orgasm was when I was 18, and it made me go numb and get pins and needles in the rest of my body afterwards! Bizarre. I did not female-ejaculate this first time, I don't recall... I had previously used a dildo, but had not attained orgasm with one of those until later. I used it to get my vagina 'open' for this boyfriend because I panicked about pain..
Using the dildo later, I noticed I could reach climax by penetration alone and spurt out a white, sweet-tasting fluid, unlike the clear fluid that makes me 'wet'. I note that I was 'in love/crush' at the time... That left a little mess, so I began putting towels on the sheets beforehand. But later, when I had reached 22, I found I needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm. And I could still ejaculate. But now, 23... I require clitoral stimulation to fully enjoy sex, and think I feel and hear a spurting when I am coming, sometimes, but no more white fluid on my bedclothes, and little relief. I feel bursting to release some fluid, and to experience the relief that brings, but I don't feel that anymore. I seem to have lost the ability to female-ejaculate.... My question to the world is if this is possible??
If I had not had my first orgasm with a guy with an average sized penis, I would be led to believe that I could only orgasm by penetration by a large penis. But perhaps that was not reaching my g-spot, and I had a vaginal orgasm. And now I need my g-spot stimulated as well. Well, I cannot find it, and perhaps that is because I have a 'higher than normal cervix'. Maybe my g-spot, too, is higher than normal.
Also I hate my dildo now, the same one I sheepishly bought when 18. Maybe I should buy a new one and let myself get back to ejaculating by penetration alone in my own time, without any worries.
To the original poster, @binnyjinny: I have a new boyfriend, and am a bit frustrated as you are. But reading some stuff, I see that comes when the both of you are totally relaxed, enjoying it, no pressure, and share empathy. Also I am probably badly stressed out.
It sounds like you are stressing yourself out. Get yourself in the mood, be exploratory, and perhaps learn to stimulate your clitoris first, unlike me. Meaning that I don't agree with one poster that it is necessary. In fact, I sometimes think my clit has just become 'greedy'.
Massage oils, scents.. And maybe a little tipple to ease those anxieties. Or better yet, just forget about those anxieties.
I also know that female orgasm is as much a mental pathway as a sexual one. My advice would be not to interrupt it by thinking how close you are to orgasm, always be in the moment/in the zone.
hi ummm i actually looked this up myself. i am beyond freaked out because im in EXACTLY the same situation. im 18 and i lost my virginity to my current boyfriend, and its AMAZING. but he really wants me to orgasm but even though the sex is great, i just cant! i dont know why! and i feel bad because he feels like hes not good enough but he is and i cant seem to convince him of that! obviously i dont know the answer because i only came across this because i was looking for one. just know youre not alone
hey, i'm an 18 year old girl, and i've had 11 partners now, and i KNOW what good sex is. but, i've only squirted once! the one guy who succeeded? he's huge, and really good. and i have alot of sex with him now, but i still haven't orgasmed again. i think it has to do with the age. i want to know why i can't orgasm either. at least i know it's possible for me, but extremely f*****g hard to get to. in fact, when i did, i was in agony right before hand, and was begging him to stop. so at this age, i think it needs to get to an extreme point of pain. My Gspot is always hit. especially with this guy. i'm confused and want to know more.
To cum and to have an orgam r 2 different things and orgam just happens when u find what work for u it's as simple as that but u have to be relaxed and let it happen
To cum most women no matter age stop them selfs simply coz if feels like u have to pee but u do cum a little b4 that happens or I'd just be dry
When u get there stop relax don't go pee just lay for talk kiss
If u don't no how if feels u pain what every1s say is fine but its gonna. Be easyer if u no what ur feel I didn't till recently I just fort I had to pee badly
Just have fun don't stress smile
i had that problem but not anymore It takes practice on getting to know yourself! RELAX alone u can try alone. use a vibrator! lay back prop ur back up with a pillow put the tip of the vibrator above ur clitoris while vibrating move it n circles up and dwn if its sensitive ur to cose to your clitoris pull away slightly. use ur imagination or watch porn to get urself going it can take awhile but dont give up hope this works!
im 19 years old girl i had sex three different times none of them could make me cum my boyfriend and i have sex and its amazing but i feel like he doesnt think that hes pleasuring me i just wish i could cum i tell him sex is amazing it truly is but i just cant come is there like a pill or something to help that
although i did not come at all...i found this info very very helpful...i have a question...when you come...does it look like pee or milk?
emlo wrote:
im an 20 year old female and i still havent experienced cumming. ive had some pretty good well ive had amazing oragasms and havent came at all lol i think its hard it might be a g spot thing but i have a friend with benifits and he is constantly hitting my g-spot and never have i came. so i mean even thou your 18 dont feel bad because i havent experienced cumming myself even threw masterbation
binnyjinny wrote:
Ok, I'm an 18 year old girl and I cannot cum for the life of me. I have a boyfriend (whom is my first and the one that took my virginity and I love him very much) and we really do have amazing sex! I enjoy it so much, I just don't know why I can't cum! Also, I've tried masturbating, but it really isn't my thing... mainly because I can't please MYSELF. I'm just confused and somewhat frustrated. My boyfriend and I have talked about it and he says some girls don't have an orgasm until they're 30 because that's usually when women reach their sexual peak. To be honest! I don't want to wait that long! I'm eager hahaha. Does anyone have any suggestions?
**I suppose I'm eager for myself, but I'm mostly eager to finally have an orgasm because my boyfriend feels as if he doesn't please me, when really he does! I just know it's something wrong with me! I don't want him to blame himself.
hey!
I'm an 18 year old male and may only seem like a baby to most people reading these posts, but i've been with my girlfriend now a few months and love her to pieces, she means the world to me, but the other day she told me that she couldn't cum. She's never been able to, and she hates herself for it. She keeps tellin me shes a freak, but no matter what i say to her she wont listen to me.
Before she told about this, i was getting wound up cause i thought i couldn't please her. And now because she's told me about it she's gettin upset because she thought that i want her to cum. I would like her to... but only because it'd make her feel "normal".
I don't know a lot on the subject, but is there anything i can say to her to make her feel better. If i tell her she's perfect does it seem like im lyin to her? she is perfect to me, i wouldn't change her in anyway shape or form, but she won't listen. Some advice about it would be great.
xxxx
im an 20 year old female and i still havent experienced cumming. ive had some pretty good well ive had amazing oragasms and havent came at all lol i think its hard it might be a g spot thing but i have a friend with benifits and he is constantly hitting my g-spot and never have i came. so i mean even thou your 18 dont feel bad because i havent experienced cumming myself even threw masterbation
Hey guys im 19, and i'm the same i mean i love the sex but can't cum and i feel awful cause my boyfriend may feel he's not pleasing me but gowd he is. But reading this made me feel better that I'm not alone so thankyou i guess, enjoy sex everyone! love yous xx :)
when i get oral sex i cum but when having sexual intercourse i cant cum am 24 and never cum doing sexual intercourse
Find an older man (40 something) He will have the experience to take you over the edge