Your Son's Puberty: Don't Arrive At The Destination Unprepared

Puberty: When To Talk About 'It'

Puberty is a tremendously important period during which lots and lots happens. Though it may seem pointless to talk about this roller coaster with the under-10 crowd, there is a lot to be said for preparedness. Puberty is a huge topic, after all, and those raging hormones combined with peer pressure may just mean that your son won't listen to your well-meant and necessary "friendly talks" for a while. Consider getting all the important information into that brain well before puberty knocks on the door. 

Kids who aren't there yet will typically listen to anyone who provides info in an interesting way. Once the signs of puberty are on full display and the kid feels slightly self-conscious about the whole thing, he may well prefer to talk with his dad or another guy he trusts instead of mom, though. To make asking questions during puberty easier, dads can make it clear that non-judgmental conversations are always available — and then follow that promise up in practice. No freak outs during talk about girlfriends (or boyfriends!), masturbation, questions about penis length, and stuff like that.

Sex Ed? Yikes?

Nearly all kids who are going through puberty are interested in sex. (Nearly all? Yes, there is such a thing as asexuality.) Crushes, falling head over heels, dating, and more serious relationships may be on the cards, depending on your family culture. All of these things may still either be happening or on your son's mind even if he's not discussing it with you. Talking about it is good, right?

Unfortunately, western culture still largely sees responsible and safe sex, including contraception, as a woman's domain. Parents of boys can contribute to changing that unfortunate aspect of society by teaching their sons all about different forms of contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy.

My boy will be hearing that it takes two to create a pregnancy, and that having sex can theoretically always result in a one, regardless of contraception — though contraception is a very good thing to use if one wants to prevent conception. If pregnancy does happen, it's the responsibility of both gamete providers.

He'll also be hearing that "no" means just that and chasing after a girl who already said no isn't cute. Because teaching about consent is just as important as discussing contraception, protection, and sexually-transmitted diseases.

You, Your Son, And Explosive Emotions

Your son may become taller than you, and physically stronger, during puberty. Though he'll seem very grown up and no longer your little baby, he'll still need you and your guidance — even (no, perhaps especially) when he's emotionally explosive, something that will happen. Don't forget to simply connect with your son during this vulnerable time. Now's the ideal time to have serious and fun conversations about everything from politics to school, and from the meaning of marriage to his own body image.

See Also: What Every Parent Should Know About Pedophiles

Puberty is a turbulent time. It also lays the foundation for the relationship you will have with your son for the rest of his life. Enjoy the ride!