13 year old Still Sleeps With Mom

My son is 12 going to be thirteen soon. His dad and I split up when he was 6 and I have always let him sleep with me ever since he was a newborn. He does have his own room and own bed. He sleeps in his own room when my husband is home. I noticed when my husband is gone my son wants to sleep with me. I feel bad for telling him no because I have my 4 year old daughter sleeping with me. I know I need to end this. Yesterday my son wanted to sleep with me I told him no he is to big and shouldn't be sleeping with me anymore. He got upset and slammed the door shut. I ignored him and let him go to bed mad. Then I picked my daughter up from my bed and layed her down in her own bed. Does anyone have advice on how to make this process easier? Or do I just need to be firm?  

I say be firm. Should had done it years ago. Might be tough be it needs to be done.

shut up girl

The man who thinks that he is inconvenienced by his girlfriend's son not wanting him to sleep over is obviously pretty immature and disrespectful. YOu are an adult male thinking of yourself and not the child and his situation. That is not your house, not your "wife" and you shouldn't be sleeping over anyway. People think they can just "play house" with these situations and then they wonder why kids are so messed up when they grow up. Be a respectful adult and go home to your own bed. The kids come first. He's dealing with a broken family.....and you definitely aren't the solution. If you love him, and his mom, then stop thinking about yourself. Stay over when the son is at his father's, but any other time, have some respect for the mom and her children by showing some ethics and morals.

I think that pubrity is activley presant at 14 and for a kid to sleep with mommy especially at 17 is a little odd ,please give me your oppinion, I need answers, I have been in the picture for 6 years she was an only responsible parent ,Im having a hard time deeling with this ,and I think I need answers,I have seen mom in his bed with a night gown that wasnt what I recomended about to years ago ,nothing was going on but she is OVERLY protective ,Its like Hes the king I dont even come home for numeriousn other reasons when he around, she lets him swear, smoke ,and occasionally drink, am I wrong for feeling the way I do or should I just Move -on? Please respond

Neil. If you are still out there. I know its been a year sorry, I just now saw the post. If you are still in this relationship you need to do everything you possibly can to show this young step child that you are trustworthy to the mother and he/she. Trust is a very big deal in a tweens life especially when a step parent arrives. The role as parent is extremely important yet you need to move on in the relationship. Take time out with this step child and do things together just you and he/she, make special time where the two of you can do things as a team and also where you can talk. Watch and listen very closely tweens say things in their actions. Tell this young person how important they are to you each and every day. You do not have to spoil the child, just show and reassure that you are there for the long run and that journey includes them. You want them to be happy and feel safe and you want to be in their life so be consistant and be kind. Good luck!

I'll say, I know someone who shares a bed with her mom and dad(dad on sepereate bed of course) because it is a 2- bedroom apartment and a family of 5. she could've shared with her siblings, but her siblings are older brothers, and anyone would rather sleep with parents than siblings of the opposite gender. She is already 11 years old.

Sounds like you slept with your parent(s) right into adulthood. This can and will cause psychological issues. He needs to be in his own bed!

i agree....i see no reason NOT have a " family bed "..as i mentioned before, it is easier to bf,and i do extended bf part time because of the children's need for this affection......i was raised in Denmark,and also we see no need to wear clothing in the home,unless someone is visiting that is not family or friends.

i agree,we choose the family bed....good for me bf full time some,and extended for others who wish the affection..we are from Denmark and try to do things naturally,as,no need to wear cloths in our home unless  a person  is visiting who is not family or friends.....in the uk and usa ,we see that many are really hung-up on the body,that is so silly.!

we have what is called the "family bed "....i have a 11 yr old boy....we see nothing wrong here....and for the ones that i bf it is easier......you see some families just like to be with each other a lot,esp. separated by a job or schools.and the added affection is Great!this usa thing from victorian England,has caused even infants to sleep alone.( very dangerous,and ALSO emotionally damaging.we must be careful not to allow negative social influences.My best wishes.

if all are kind and there is love,there,then there ARE NO PROBLEMS....We have a family bed

there is the concept known as the family bed..and that works well for us...easier to bf full time ( and also extended bf with some pt,,,,, and also share affection .with all..many families are apart during the day...my oldest is my 11 yr old boy..... i am from Denmark,and we are a natural family of 5-..( i am still in my 20's....( 2 sets twins)..)Now, no one is forced to wear cloths in the home...we see that most of the USA and UK is very fearful (sometimes paranoid even,) of the body...so silly!..and ALSO.age here is not a problem.

It is so refreshing to read your posts. I agree with everything you have said. Here in the US we have such a regressive/repressive attitude about sex and our bodies. When Janet Jackson's breast was exposed to the TV audience a few years ago I was amazed at the reaction. We are scared of a breast!!!!

I see no reason why anyone should be made to feel they need to hide their body in the home. I see nothing useful in children growing up thinking there is anything dirty or shameful about their body.

I'm an old fart but I have been in favor of good sex education in our schools all my life because they told us nothing when I needed to know it most. I was lucky in one respect though. I grew up with only girls for playmates until I was about 10. By the time we were seven we were very familiar with each other's body parts. We were also smart enough to not let our parents know that.

well.you might wish to research the concept of the "family bed"