Help! It seems like 14 is the magic number for girls having sex! My now 15 year old daughter just told me that she had sex (using a condom) with a then 17 year old boy 11 mths ago! I am still in shock!! I believe that I handled it well when she told me. She told me because my niece just had a baby and we always talked about waiting until she was married or found the right guy (and definitely older than 14!) She was feeling guilty and decided to come clean. She said she hated herself for doing it and she knows that it was wrong, but thought she loved this guy and they would get married one day (yuck!). The only problem is that we didn't approve of the relationship from the start and didn't like the guy. We didn't even know there was a relationship until her little brother told on her when he saw a text. I'm sorry to say that I didn't like the boy, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but lost trust in him when I found out that he didn't respect our wishes and had snuck over our home when we were away and she would sneak out of the house. He doesn't go to school and that really bothers me. Now, she tells me this and doesn't want me to tell her overprotective father, which I know I have to!!! I think I should tell his parents that they had sex only because when I did talk to his mother last year about my concerns that I didn't want my daughter to "hang out" with an older boy, she told me "my son isn't your typical 17 yr. old." Right, sure mom!! She needs to know that he is like any other boy and I have to accept that my daughter lost her virginity to this creep. My daughter doesn't see him anymore and now realizes that it shouldn't have happened. I told my daughter that I love her and will help her in anyway to get through this. She has self estem issues and I believe that she had sex with this boy because he was the first person to say she was pretty and he liked hanging out with her and they share the same interest in music. I guess she thought he was the best thing she could ever get. I'm sorry to say that the judgemental side of me thought there was no way she would ever like, let alone have sex with this guy because his appearance just "grosses me out" and my daughter is a very beautiful girl. Please don't bash me for saying that! I know it sounds superficial, but I'm her mom and I want the best for her. He's just a kid who's content playing xbox all day and has no interest in getting an education. He was being homeschooled and that stopped 3 years ago. He quit his computer classes and now volunteers at an animal shelter. My daughter wants to go to school to become an veterinarian (sp?) and does very well in school. Am I wrong to tell his parents? I don't care if she gets mad at me, she'll get over it. She also told me that they have recently been texting at night and that he told her a few weeks ago, that he couldn't be her friend anymore because he was too mature for her. REALLY???? His parents need to know that their perveted boy had sex with a 14 1/2 year old girl and he was almost 17 1/2 yrs. old. Any advice??? Thank you!
I'm glad your daughter was able to tell you this. It must have been difficult for her but it shows her trust and respect for you. You're raising her right.
As for the boy, I doubt you'll get anywhere with the parents. You could talk to the police if you wanted to push it. It sounds like he needs help and isn't getting it at home.
DUDE! I'm 13, been having my period since I was 11, and I think unless you know you can properly raise a child BY YOURSELF, you should not partake in sexual intercourse! I actually don't believe in sex, love or relationships. This id**t girl is going to ruin her future because of some boy? And that kid, someone needs to anonomously tip 911 as soon as he turns 18 that he's a pedophile.
Urrg reading this is infuriating I'm 14 and I too started my period at 11 but see unlike most people I consider the girls pov. I'm not a virgin, I don't have stds, I'm not pregnant and I most certainly didn't love the guys ( yes multiple) that I have had sex with. Get your heads out of you granny panties this is the 21st century. Kids have sex. What's the difference between 14 year old and adults anyway. What we don't have enough opportunity to make decisions that we thought were right but turn out to be wrong? Your daughter used a condom and most kids with more than two brain cells know that you need one. Adults may be able to financially support a child but in retrospect you have more of a chance to mess up their lives than we do. There are many adults that can't support thier children either but thier not band from sex. If your worried about pregnancy put her on the pill. Simple. There is no so called emotional scaring for a 14 year old non- virgin. Doesn't mean your a 's***' or that you hate god or whatever. And to cookie how many years gap are there between your parents? He's a boy stop with the all 'I'm 13 I'm almost the same age' rubbish. Mate you need to grow up and join the big boys. Maybe take a sex ed class oh and STOP USING CAPITALS. You don't believe in sex hmm. Okay tell that to me in 9 years when your still a virgin. Also a perfect example of how the states is messed up over in the uk the age of consent is 16. People do it before then and the law knows. Get over it. And lady if you don't want this move her to an all girls school and ground her or better yet send her to Antarctica I hear it's particularly boy free this time of year.