Anxiety and depression for days after binge drinking

Reading this message board has really helped me. I'm 26 and I think I have always suffered from some kind of anxiety/OCD although I've never been diagnosed by a doctor. I somehow convince myself that if I don't worry about something, somehow the worst possible outcome will happen and I think it's getting worse as I get older. Anyway now, when I've been drinking, if I get 'brown outs' (not full blown black outs, just bits of information missing here and there), I convince myself that I've done something completely ridiculous and everyone is laughing at me and hates me, even though, usually, I don't. If on the very rare occasions I have done something, the self loathing is unbearable. This morning I woke up and I genuinely didn't even want to get out of bed. I feel stupid and ridiculous. My problem is that the majority of my social life revolves going out in town with friends to drink. My boyfriend also enjoys going out with his friends and drinking and I feel like I can't avoid it if I want to have a social life. I've only been drinking every other weekend at the moment and have been better at controlling my intake, but last night I drank way more than I intended and am now suffering the consequences. I just want to be like other people and not worry about what I may or may not have said. When I don't drink as much, I then worry that other people find me stand offish and boring. I'm starting to hate how much our culture is intertwined with alcohol. I feel like I just can't break free of it.

Also does anyone else create false memories? Where you can't remember exactly what happened so your brain makes up something horrendous and embarrassing to fit in and then you can't remember if it actually did happen or not? I couldn't really remember a night out in a club, just small fragments of it, and my brain managed to convince me that I had cheated on my boyfriend. Now I'm a pretty shy person and the idea of cheating is revolting. And of course I hadn't but the idea haunted me for weeks. And then somehow I then changed it to that I must have started a fight with someone. I know deep down what I need to do which is to stop drinking, but then the thought of having no social life also completely panics me. I feel totally lost to be honest.

I feel what all of you guys are saying. Im currently on a vacation in Cabo and have been going hard every say and night for the last 5 days. Im used to this much drinking and have never experienced a feeling like this before. I woke up with really weird and irritating feeling in my gut, i started sweating, my brain feels like it cant think normally, and its currently 4:30am and I still cant get myself to fall asleep. I reallyyy want this to end! I feel like this feeling will never go away and haunt me forever and that i wont get to enjoy another day of my life but I know its just my body reacting to the drinking. If anyone has any comforting advice to cope with this anxiety or perhaps a medication recommendation, Im all hears. God Bless

Thanks for your words, i was thinking the same thing, that the anxiety is my head warning me. I think youre right. Im afraid and I think I need to stop going to my normal social circles. I think i already subconciously did this separation by changing cities and changing my job. I also changed my girlfriend to one that barely drinks. I have also started taking dancing classes as a substitute to drinking when going out. I think my life would be happier if I could just cut out the alcohol from it altogether. I am not depressive normally but after drinking i feel like i am going insane, I cant control my thoughts as they are moving too fast and in every possible direction. Im just hoping that I could fall asleep to be saved from my torment. It is obviously not possible to fall asleep though so I suffer. I have had this for about 6 months now. The only thing that helps me get over my anxiety after drinking is going out for biking or swimming, then I can find brief moments when I am not tormented by myself. I cant be around people because everything seems to be weird and triggers weird thoughts in me. Like an abstract painting of a face or a child looking at me. Its tuesday today. had a two day binge drinking weekend (didnt remember how i got home both times). I feel better today and I came to this site to write my story aswell. My girlfriend also told me if I cant stop drinking, I shouldnt drink. She knows what she is talking about as her close relative is alcoholic. Alcohol is one hell of a drug, be careful everyone. I will try to stop altogether.

I have been drinking heavily on weekends since I was 18 (24 now) and this has recently become a huge problem for me as well. Can't sleep on Sunday night, up all night worrying about making it into work the next morning, experience horrific anxiety all day and then can't sleep again, and so on and so on. I feel like i'm going crazy, shaking, constantly feeling like i'm falling....all those terrifying side effects of anxiety/panic attacks. I was prescribed Zopiclone by my doctor to help me sleep however it just makes me feel even more dizzy/spaced out the next day so I try to only take it when its an emergency. I've recently turned to edible marijuana along with Valarian root as an alternative to the sleeping pills. Half a cookie and two valrian root pills an hour or two before bed and I sleep great and wake up the next day with little to no side effects (a bit sluggish and spaced out). Sometimes the marijuana brings on a tremendous deal of anxiety as it starts to take effect, but trust me it is worth it due to the sleep and relaxing body high it induces. I do really enjoy drinking with my friends, especially while travelling, so the thought of stopping completely is terrifying. However, I think with the help of edible marijuana some better self-control a normal social life in possible. Hope this helps someone!

I'm feeling the same right now i do the same thing to help taking the longest walk reallyhell

I hate say moderation, cause it's partly true for me. I also realized some time ago being physically active helps if not cured depression, walking - even with a friend or jogging. What we eat is also important some foods like ones rich in potassium (bananas).

I have the exact same problem. Some times I try to remember the conversations I had while drinking because I think I said some stuff that shouldn't have been said

Me too.. Exact same thing

Hi Mate I used to suffer to si I stopped binge drinking until last weekend when I went on stag weekend and all my symptoms are back hence back on this site. I will not be drinking at all now till Xmas. Stop binging and take magnisum glycinate supplement. Read a book called Magnisum Miracle, well worth the money! Good luck.

You are not alone my friend.Right now am having the same trouble.And yes it happened to me after binge drinking.I hope you are alright now,as for me am having the worst time of my life.Its been now 3 weeks after my last binge.Am still having severe anxiety.Anyways am not gonna run away from it..instead i think the best way is to go through it.Everything will be back to normal. Cheers to the future :)

I have read every single one of these comments over the last four hours and I feel so incredibly grateful to each person who shared their story. Like so many others have mentioned, knowing that you are not alone takes away so much of the paralyzingly fear that something is very wrong with you. I'm a 28 year old female who has a binge drinking problem. I don't drink too often but when I do, I don't know when to stop. In my younger years it began with me ending these nights in tears and waking up so humiliated for having had an emotional breakdown. It evolved into me becoming angry with my friends, picking fights, telling them they don't understand. I left Canada when I was 23 and have been travelling the world alone for the last five years and my depression and anxiety began to worsen and I realized that in many ways, I was trying to isolate myself and give myself the freedom to run away from my emotions and drunken mistakes. This past December, I came home because for the first time ever, I physically attacked a very dear friend of mine after drinking whiskey all night in Ireland. I came home to receive therapy. In March I decided I was alright to drink again and I got so wasted that two men people I encountered in the hallway helped me into my place and ended up stealing my laptop, phones and money right from my kitchen table without me noticing. That was the first night I spoke of suicide. No more drinking. Complete humiliation and despair. Never again. A month later, it happened again. A nice night in with friends and a glass or two of wine which turned into me and only me, becoming a terrible mess. Last night, a friends birthday party and my first drink in two months. I was feeling really good and thought I could handle myself. We were having so much fun. I left the party in an ambulance because I grabbed a knife and told them I needed help. This morning, for the first time, I didn't have a hangover but the world felt like a different place. A church bell rang in the distance outside my window and the most sinister feeling came across me and I don't know how to explain it, but it felt like a taste of hell. Writing this, I can't even believe it's me who has done these things. I'm usually a happy girl, accomplished, in control and intelligent. I do realize I suffere from depression but it's never taken over my life and I always felt that I was still in control, able to choose love and light, always. Every time this happens, I vow that it is the last wake up call I will ever need. But it's not. This is getting so bad that I am truly fearing my own well being and sanity. I'm afraid, I'm humiliated and I feel just so, so terrible. Alcohol. I know I need to just stop forever and can't wrap my head around why I can't seem to easily do it. I don't crave it, I always just think I'll be fine and there's something very wrong in my thinking that, because it never is. Sending so much love and light to everyone who feels the same tonight and thanking you again. I'm going to fall asleep without feeling totally alone and terrified. I feel inspired by all the comments that I've read and know that they will give me strength to face this demon. We can't give up and we must remember that we are so, so much more than the things we do or feel under the influence. This is part of our journeys for a reason, I really believe that. We need to learn how to overcome our fears and insecurities, learn self love and self discipline. We need to be strong and trust in the wisdom of our highest selves and in our greatest potentials. Baby steps my friends, we can do this and remember, you are not alone in this. It's going to be ok.

I have been binge drinking since I was 15. Always thought it was cool, smoking heavy also when drinking. Im 27 and I go periods of about 3 weeks without a drink or other times I go 1 or 2 weeks. For years now after a binge drink in which I consume no food I wake up two days later and my stomach is in agony. I drank from friday to Sunday of the AM. Friday consisted of half a bottle of vodka and 6 cans then I went out to the pub and spent 120 pounds on alcohol. Saturday morning I went to the offsales and got 4 bottles of buckfast and drank another half bottle of vodka and 3 cans. The fear and anxiety I am in is terrible I lay in my bed scared to move until 3.30 monday afternoon from 1.30 Sunday morning. I want to stop drinking but the pain in my body and mind won't go away. I have no friends and the one I do have is a bad influence. To make matters worse I had unprotected sex with a girl from tinder who I only realised was meeting when she appeared at my door. Didn't even know her name until later that night. I want to stop but nobody will help me and my alcohol councilor I've just got is a joke. My doctor doesn't take it seriously. I hate my life and my anxiety. How can I stop this pattern of behavior.

Depression is the worst. I can't get help for it and it's driving me to suicide. Your post reminded me so much of myself. I did the two knifes thing about 5 weeks ago. Hate existing like this. Least you can make friends and that makes me happy knowing you don't need to feel this terrible loneliness. Good luck and all the best.

Yeah buddy I am with you. Jesus alcohol is a complete disaste . I always end up drunk beyond belief. Never a memory. I'm in a good Job and I really think if I keep drinking I'm going to piss it up the wall. I have a lovely girl who adores me and says I'm the nicest person in the world without drink but then on my days off its vodka. I'll drink most of a bottle then I get the urge to go out and spend more. Even if it's alone. I'll go and spend hundreds on nights out. My family hate me drinking too. But besides that it's the hangovers. The depression. The sweats. The fear mainly. What did I say. Who did I annoy? This weekend after a fight with my girlfriend I went out into Belfast and got steaming drunk. Gave a homeless man a hundred quid and another one 40. I then went out sat night and woke up in someone's house for no reason whatsoever. This has to end. It is just a depressant full stop and nothing else. If you can have one or two but for us bingers it's mayhem. Well I'm gonna start now posting on this with my urges and what I've done to over come them and stay sober. So this is day3 I suppose starting and I feel a bit more normal. Requires will power so frig it let's see how I get on.