I got rid of my husband of 20 years at age 50, dumped the poor coot disabled and penniless on the street, what a loser! The divorce system gave me everything and him nothing (except all my debt - ha, ha!) and he nearly died! Serves him right. But now the menopause thing, what did I ever do to deserve this hell! I used to look great, but now just like that, everything went south, I am deeply furrowed, wrinkled and ugly to behold. Life isn't fair to us ladies, and men age so much better than us - it's unfair! I long for the days when whole troops of men used to run after me - now nothing. Men are pigs!
I'm 58 years old n fat, ugly, broke, tired n stressed. Always problems - nothing seems to go right. Usband died 8 yrs ago n I'm lonely. Haven't dated - who would want me. No friends my choice cuz I'm embarrased how. I was left penniless n it takes money to go out eith friends. Believe it or not I am not depressed, have a desent outlook. All I can say is, I must have been a real b***h in my past life n boy oh boy am I paying for it now.
I'm 52 and am peri-menopausal and yes, experiencing the weight gain and sagging skin but I feel young inside so I go with that! People have always told me what a great smile I have so I take extra good care of my teeth and I smile at everyone all the time..They don't even notice my sags and bags!! (Well, they might but they notice my smile first!) Something else you might want to try is drink a ton of water every day!! At first you will be running to the bathroom all day but after about two weeks your body gets used to it and your skin will thank you for it! Always wear a little makeup..I use a BB cream not foundation as it is like a moisturizer that minimizes skin flaws, just a touch of peachy cream blush on the apples of your cheeks, a little tinted lip gloss and a few strokes of mascara...I promise you will feel like a new woman just taking a few minutes every morning to do this. Also, your hair ladies....Spend a few dollars and get a good hair cut and color and for God's sake keep it up!!!!! If finances are an issue go one time and ask the hairdresser if he or she can give you the color recipe then if you have a friend who is a esthetician or hairdresser ask them to purchase the professional products for you at a beauty supply house..Keep going back for those good haircuts though!! I cannot express how much a good quality haircut and color can do for you!!! Keep in mind not all hairdressers are created equal and not all fancy expensive salons have great hairdressers so this step might take a few tries. You can (and should) go for a consultation before you decide to go with a particular hairdresser. Take photos of hairstyles you like and see if they say "we can do that" or if they tell you how they would alter it to suit your face shape etc....That's what you want to hear!! Make sure your clothing is clean and fits you! Go into the store and purchase the sizes you need (Nothing in black..I'm not kidding!) next take all of your new purchases to a good seamstress or tailor and have them altered so they look like they were made for you. You are better off having a smaller, quality wardrobe that fits and looks great then a bunch of WalMart rags that look like they were dug out of a box at the nearest garage sale give away....Remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!! Scarves are a good wardrobe accessory as they act like jewelry and can give a polished look to a t-shirt and jeans!! Get your nails done, go for a facial...Ask your friends what your best feature is and play it up! You don't need a face lift and you don't need to take up permanent residence under the stairs or cover all the mirrors in the house. You need to take stock of yourself, be thankful for another day and SMILE! Smile at strangers..They will look at you funny and be left thinking "did she just smile at me"? Chances are they will smile back...Isn't that wonderful? Doesn't it make you feel something when someone smiles at you?? Man or woman, young or old, beautiful or not so beautiful you can smile at everyone..It doesn't cost a thing and it sure feels good!! Good luck! I 'm smiling at all of you right now :))
Agree women have it easier in getting attention until they approach menopause. Men will lose hair, gain body fat, and lose sexual capicity but don't seem to get hit nearly as hard as women. Although in fairness some men seem to get nailed by andropause and look pretty shabby.
Estrogen is a necessary but nasty hormone in both sexes. In appropriate levels and times it's crucial but as the body ages it wreaks havoc. Estrogen seems to give women a lot of problems one example is a much higher rate of autoimmune conditions not to mention the monthly surges throughout menstruation which clearly illustrate estrogen's darker side.
Do yourselves a favor and read some of Ray Peat's work by searching for "menopause and Ray Peat" in Google. He gives a better background and generally more nuanced and less orthodox view of estrogen and aging.
His premise is that the estrogen levels with advancing age are no longer counterbalanced by protective hormones like progesterone, pregenenelone, and adequate thyroid levels as they were when women are younger. The lack of protective hormones is also effected by a large increase in cortisol with age.
Proper diet, supplements, optimizing things like progesterone, pregenenolone, thyroid, etc. minimizing stress likely may help. Access to bright light not necessarily sun tanning but bright light is prometabolic.
I was on an online dating site and a women at 50 contacted me 39yr - and let me know she was having a hard time getting attention. She was sweet and I treated her nicely.
She had a few current pictures up along with some younger ones, and the visual change to perimenopause/menopause was striking. She looked like a different person. Didn't have the heart to tell her.
Adopting some of these strategies early on may dampen the menopausal shift.