I feel like you do sometimes, but I think it's the world we live in that values youth above other qualities that age brings. Get proper rest, eat as well as you can, exercise, keep a thankful journal and volunteer time to others less fortunate.
i hear you!! me too!.. its not a perception problem.. its real. i have removed all the mirrors in my house except for the one over the bathroom sink... and i avoid looking in that, plus i never turn on light in bathroom anymore. have attempted putting on face 3 times in past 6 months,, but washed it all off, because it looks worse. my sig other says i should accept "how i look" because he loves me. i seriously hate him when he says that...
my partner feels "lonely" ,, he misses sex. well guess what, i feel like a train wreck and the extra 50 pounds HE has gained during "my menopause", hasn't really made him an object of sexual desire to me.
I got here because my man has decided to still look at young girls on the web (I have no problem with it persay) but now that I am 50 and aged practically overnite I feel hideous. How can he desire me when i look nothing like these girls he fantasizes about? He is 5 years older than me so it's not like he is so fit and trim either. I could look at similar aged hottie guys but I really have no interest. If he was growing in his fantasy along with his age I might not mind. lol
After 50 it's about character, experience in life and knowledge.
Yes try to keep yourself in shape if possible, eat, but take all carbs out of diet and have vegg and meat. You have to cut portions back to half.
Join a local YMCA for some exercise classes. Then realize you have lived for 50 years ! And your body now is giving you trouble mind fog and soreness! It's really bad news and very hard to deal with. But if you look around most people you love are full of character and so are you. Concentrate on things that you enjoy and your hobbies and friends. Men are overrated and take a lot of looking after, unless you find your soul mate, most men are looking for some one to feed them!! Take your life and explore all the things on a wish list, if you don't have one make one and put all things you want to have or do. If you meet a man on the way ! Great if not you will probably make some interesting new friends. You are one of many women suffering from a sudden change in there looks, but you can't make your life around other persons interests! Good luck be positive . Buy the book The Secret its a good motivator
Yes try to keep yourself in shape if possible, eat, but take all carbs out of diet and have vegg and meat. You have to cut portions back to half.
Join a local YMCA for some exercise classes. Then realize you have lived for 50 years ! And your body now is giving you trouble mind fog and soreness! It's really bad news and very hard to deal with. But if you look around most people you love are full of character and so are you. Concentrate on things that you enjoy and your hobbies and friends. Men are overrated and take a lot of looking after, unless you find your soul mate, most men are looking for some one to feed them!! Take your life and explore all the things on a wish list, if you don't have one make one and put all things you want to have or do. If you meet a man on the way ! Great if not you will probably make some interesting new friends. You are one of many women suffering from a sudden change in there looks, but you can't make your life around other persons interests! Good luck be positive . Buy the book The Secret its a good motivator
18 months in post menopause,, its not getting any easier, and I just don't know how to do this. does it really improve, or will I always feel like I'm trapped in body that doesn't belong to me? I know your post is old,, would really like to hear how its been..
Thank you for your honesty and this topic... and everyone else who shared... angry and disgusted at myself for my self loathing and society's standards for women..my spirit feels broken because of my face, a lifetime of overwork, aging is painful, physically and emotionally...knowing there are other women experiencing the same helped me today... thank you all.
Sorry, don't believe it.
"...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day. For our light and temporary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs our troubles.…" 2 Corinthians 4 verses 16, 17. By the world's standards, our appearance should match those in magazines that are obviously air brushed to perfection - however, by heavenly standards - our outward appearance reflects our struggles, our mountain experiences and our valley(s). Our wrinkles, like trophies, reveal our strengths, our victory over trials; our sleepless nights; our overcoming in the face of life's tragedies. If 'other's' don't care to share their lives with us because we don't look like some slinky, wet and wild woman, tossing her curly and thick locks in the sun: then they can keep on keepin on. We need to pamper ourselves. Love ourselves. Accept ourselves. Surround ourselves with people who hold our same interests. Isn't it true, that when we were young, we still had fears regarding our appearance? Didn't see the beauty in our youth, until it was too late. Shun those who make us feel less than we are and definitely stay away from those men who live their entire dating lives on free internet dating sites,who never seem able to settle down with one woman. Shoppers drug mart gives free makeovers all of the time. Go in there, or some other subsidiary store of the like, and ask them to teach you how to best apply makeup. Go and get your hair styled. Try different looks.
We may not look like the latest fashion model, but we sure can try to do the best with what we have. When I look in the mirror, I am SHOCKED at how different I look - oh my goodness - I wonder - how did I get so old and ugly. Where did that stomach come from? Why do I have more cottage cheese on the backs of my legs than what exists in the entire grocery store?
Ugh! How? It just seemed to happen in one day. I was always the perfect size 8, with waist length, long curly blonde hair. Now... Then I remember, my hope is not in this world, but in God. That may sound foolish to some, but in reality, this world will let you down - chew you up and spit you out once they have lapped up and stolen all of your precious pearls. Whereas in God's kingdom, the focus is not in what we "had," but in what we have to look forward to. I wish I could explain it better than I have. Delve into your spirit - connect with your maker - then you will find rivers of living water flowing through you rather than the rattles of death. God bless you girl! Believe me, I can only empathize because I have been through it xo
We may not look like the latest fashion model, but we sure can try to do the best with what we have. When I look in the mirror, I am SHOCKED at how different I look - oh my goodness - I wonder - how did I get so old and ugly. Where did that stomach come from? Why do I have more cottage cheese on the backs of my legs than what exists in the entire grocery store?
Ugh! How? It just seemed to happen in one day. I was always the perfect size 8, with waist length, long curly blonde hair. Now... Then I remember, my hope is not in this world, but in God. That may sound foolish to some, but in reality, this world will let you down - chew you up and spit you out once they have lapped up and stolen all of your precious pearls. Whereas in God's kingdom, the focus is not in what we "had," but in what we have to look forward to. I wish I could explain it better than I have. Delve into your spirit - connect with your maker - then you will find rivers of living water flowing through you rather than the rattles of death. God bless you girl! Believe me, I can only empathize because I have been through it xo
I'm sitting here absent from work today because of fybro attack, I'm 56 and just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror! What happened to me!? And I can barely walk to the kitchen, so going to a gym or yoga isn't a priority right now! My husband, son and dogs love me! I'm about to lose a job I need and I can't even fight for it! Yeah being 56 in menopause with fybro is living life to the fullest!
I'm sorry that you are so despaired. I'm 57 with arthritic hip and knee that just "appeared" in last year. A lifetime of fitness and health, and I can barely walk, even with medication. I've gained 15 lbs this year even with all the healthy meals. You are lucky to have a family that loves you - my snagle-tooth dog looks back at me as if to say "wtf", as I hobble along to keep up. I'm lonely and don't have any energy to dress the ugly up to take out of the house!
Yes. I'm 49 I don't even recognize myself it's like someone took me and crammed me in a fat old looking ugly as heck body and my swollen double chin bull frog face, I would rather look like anyone other than myself, it's taken all my self esteem and all the pleasure out of my life, I don't like myself anymore and I am disgusted by myself. What makes it worse is my husband points out to me every day several times a day how bad I look in a graphic detailed way. I hate the new me all the time.
OMG! The Troll comment kills me! Too funny!!! I laughed out loud! Thank you, Premenopausal in Halifax
He is NOT a nice man! Leave him! I know it is not easy to do and he does not deserve to be with you! Premenopausal in Halifax
There are good men out there. The problem is, in my opinion, is that there are too many Beta males running around, trying to assert their manly-manliness because deep down they know they are inferior. Losers. In the natural world, these males would be culled out of the herd. Oh, well. One of the drawbacks of modern society, I guess. BTW—I was in India a few months ago backpacking. I met a young Austrian, 22 years old, and we had a fling for a few days. Beautiful, tall, blond, intelligent, well-travelled—he initiated it—he ditched his friends for me. We really hit it off. And, he didn’t experience any of the erectile dysfunction that men experience after the age of 45–you know, the ED they blame on us? LOLOLOLOL. Anyway, it wasn’t a forever thing, but we will always have Udaipur. Also, met a 53 year old woman in Mumbai. She was with her 30-something, hot as hell boyfriend. They were yogis. He was paying for the trip. They were staying at the Taj! Other guy in my yoga shala—57 and married to a woman who is 67. They are gorgeous together, very committed. He is wildly successful, an amazing yogi, devoted to his woman, because he has nothing to prove. Yeah. There are good men out there, but, you know, after a rich and varied sex life for the past 30+ years—meh. I like the sex. I prefer to live alone.