I understand what you all are going through, I am a little older with no kids. I never had a honey moon phase in my relationship, we dated, was hurt in the past so I wanted to make sure it wasnt just a sex thing because he talked about it all the time. When he couldnt back up all the talk he did..as far as wanting it like I do...he said he just wasnt that into it. So now Im in a realstionship with a person who hasnt had sex with me in 6 months and says he is stressed from work but can masturbate all the time, look at pron and has no problem with it until it comes to preforming the act with me. I have done everything he said would turn him on , and to no avail,. I dont nag, do my own thing, try to talk to him, everything short of having sex with someone else in front of him to make him realise its important in my realationship to have sex. I have to face up to the fact i may just be a glorified roomate. It hurts because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this person: however I recently took stock of my life and were I want my life to be and it isnt with someone who doesnt want me, respect me enough to figure out a solution, and never wants to dicuss in an adult manner how to fix this. Most men reading would ask"are you fat or unattractive? " I am neither..thanks for making that important. I just feel like he may just be comforatable and isnt scared I'm going anywere- so I will be soon, take stock of your life woman, it is too short to settle for something that isnt working out just because you dont want to be alone- love is 50/50 not 90/10 and for this gal - Im moving on!!!!!
i know how u feel my bf talks dirty to girls but doesnt have sex with me and his not cheating just likes to talk dirty to other girls for some reason...... i feel like i want someone who would not act like this but he says he loves me and stuff..... but i feel like i cannot live with him like this......
But either way. Get out. He's not even acknowledging you when you're telling him you may leave. Stop talking about it and do it because you deserve better.
Hi. This is very very new to me and I literally just found out a couple days ago that my boyfriend has been masterbating to porn. We have been together for going on 15 years. We have had a very very rocky up and down relationship. He has cheated in the past, but I always forgave him and stuck by his side. For the last few months he has stopped havin sex with me. Maybe once a month. At most 3 times a month. Our sex life has been the most healthy thing in our relationship all this years. But 2 days ago I went to the bathroom to pee (it was early in the morning) and he was taking his shower before work. I noticed a certain noise (jerking off type). So when I was done I glanced over and it looked like he was jerking off. And I could also see so something lite up. I opened the curtain and sure enough he was masterbating to porn on his phone. I was in shock! It was like I walked in on him f*****g someone else. And I know one reason why I was so surprised is because he (since the day I met him) has been that 1% of guys that don't like to masterbate. He has always thought of it as sleezy and cheap and never understood why I guy would do that when he has the real thing. I have known so etching was wrong for a while. With our sex life becoming more and more none existed. I even thought he might be cheating. But to lie to me and make it seem he's tired or not in the mood and still making me believe he doesn't masterbate is cheating on me. And in more then one way. I'm so heartbroken,humiliated and sick and crazy that he would do this to me and not understand why I'm so upset. It's obviously a bigger picture then just the masterbation. And not to mention the night before he actually had sex with me twice. I was shocked. So the next morning when I found him jerking off, he looked up at me in shock and the look on his face was "oh sh*t!" and he said, "you got me so hot and bothered last night that's why I'm doing this". And that grossed me out even more!! Adding more lies to the lying. The sex we had the night before was the sex we have been having for a while now. Boring. I haven't had a real orgazam in months. But I never buy him down. And when we do have sex I'll be flirty and make cute suggestions to help with the sex so he isn't feeling let down or thinking he doing anything wrong. But now when we do have sex he pretty much just lays there and in and out. I don't know where this came from. It seriously came out of the blue and now I don't know what to do. I need sex and with someone I love. And I'm being traded in for any random girl f*****g or masterbating. Which I've tried with him several times and he makes it very very uncomfortable. Our sex is not about us anymore. It has now become about him. I've even let him perform anal on me because that's what he wanted. And knowing it hurts me and does nothing for me sexually he now gets mad at me for not doing it. And I did it about 5 times for him and tired my hardest to find something enjoyable about it. And still even though I would let him know it hurt afterward and would only make sure that the experience was as enjoyable for him during. I'm sorry if this all sounds like a big old all over the place mess. But like I said, this just happened and I'm so confused. I understand that masterbation is normal. But just because something is normal doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. If there is anyone out there that is hurting and confused and feeling the same way. Please contact me. I need help. Bad! As of right now this is the end. And I love him and don't want it to be this way.
i dd a google search too and i dont know what to think of my own situation.. ive been with my bf for a year.. we used to have plenty of sex now, nothing.. its been 6 months since we really got intimate.. we have a house together and my daughter lives with us.. we still have plenty of alone time but he wont touch me.. theres this girl that he hired from a previous job.. shes overly flirtatious and i know shes promiscuous.. giving him rides and having wierd conversations.. he gave her a management position at his new job and thinks im just crazy.. he doesnt answer my calls or texts when im not with him.. and ive caught him in some minor lies.. what should i fok?
He's always asking me when I get out of work now too..
As u said he masturbates and once indulged in pornography. Clearly he is losing interest in real life. He is not cheating rather may be struggling to throw away the virtual life but he just can't. May be he needs you more than anything else in this world. Large collection of porn must have left some strong impact on the mind which can be cleaned with love and understanding. Desire to another partner means facing another type of problem. I would face the problem and support my partner. I would know once recovered and fine the person will be like a angel in my life. Your situation indicates u saw him in another way and u are fed up with his ignorance towards you. ADDICTIONS ARE ALWAYS BAD. Help him and he will gift of god to you forever. Boys dont cheat until his girl humiliates or unless he is flirtious in nature. Right now sure he is not cheating
Im experiencing the same thing.. But everytime I tried to tell him,he gets angry. Im really upset. It makes me feel unwanted and too undesirable even if Im not.
Same thing is happening to me right now.. I don't know where and whom to find the answer and solution to this problems of ours.But things got worse now... By hooking himself with that porn all the time, We haven't had sex for more than a month now even though we were in the same bed every night..( were living together).. But we usually do this everyday while watching porn together. But right now, He wakes up early and pretend to go to the comfort room with his cellphone and watch porn alone..And never touches me and never asked me to watch porn with him anymore. And every time I tried to touch his private part, he moves away and go to his computer. and watch porn alone. I really hate this. Is he cheating on me?or this is an effect of a porn addiction?coz I tried to sneak in his phone if he is cheating but i found nothing.plsss help us... How well we able to solve this?And one thing,every time I tried to tell him, he gets angry.
I totally agree with you, I had the same situation. However, he promises me he is not watching porn and he still masturbates once a week. We maybe have sex twice a month. I asked him to go to the doctor,his testosterone levels are normal and he dosent like foreplay at all. Why do you think this is happening? Is he cheating or not into me or what?
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