Apart from the impact on the hymen, a doctor would inspect a vagina using his finger (quite acceptably), whereas he would not use his penis!
Sexual intercourse is a bonding activity.
1. She might be a virgin (never had sexual intercourse), but her hymen was otherwise ruptured
2. She might have a tough elastic hymen which did not rupture.
3. She might have been born without a hymen.
The hymen is only just inside the vagina, so any intercourse would penetrate the vagina beyond the hymen -so far enough to 'pop her cherry'
That depends on your definition of virgin - Technically or Morally. Then what does it mean if the individual is not considered a virgin?
Technically, a virgin is one who has not had penis-in-vagina sexual intercourse. This applies to both male and female. Many see this evidenced in a woman who has an intact hymen, although that is certainly not actual proof. There is something that is especially bonding about sexual intercourse whereby male and female are joined together in a way that no other sexual activity achieves. For many, this is an important aspect, but sadly some demand a level of chastity for women that is not expected from men.
Morally, it is variously determined, and the degree of physical contact that is considered acceptable varies. My view is that anal or oral sex would certainly remove the purity aspect and the participants would not be moral virgins. The degree/amount/style of physical touching allowed is another consideration, and the less pre-marital sexual contact, the better. Indeed many find that their extra-marital activity causes undue stress when going against moral & religious sensitivities, and concerns about pregnancy risk (even without intercourse), as well as realising an impact on their eventual marriage.
I would not consider you wrong for your thinking, and have great sympathies with it, but consider what a woman should do if having had past sexual activity (although technically a virgin) and is now to be married. Should she wear a white wedding dress?
The subject of virginity that is of moral concern to many is often linked with the question "how far can I go without being in danger?". Better would be: "how far can I keep away from danger?"
Left-over period blood would be dark.
If you are worried about the state of your hymen, then you can inspect it yourself using a hand-mirror.
I don't know what yours looks like, but here is a typical Caucasian hymen:
- http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/sites/default/files/files/styles/large/public/field/image/hymen_virginal.jpg.
But hymens do vary.
The stinging could be from scratching, or from tearing your hymen. Where exactly did it sting?
Anyway, I hope the picture helped.