Holy sh*t. Its indeed like a bad virus. I can relate in too many ways, It all started when I met my ex, she's smoked hard for 30yrs. An argument after argument, I wanted to know what the big hype is, so whatdya know.. I smoked my ass off in the beginning. We always had a great time, she had paranoia, real quiet, sat in one spot hearing noises. It didn't affect me at all, I was lovin it, an we smoked daily, ALOT daily. All the money mann, put it this way, no matter how hard you tell yourself "Ok, I'm only gettin two or three pieces, an I'm done" IT DOESN'T HAPPEN. Your an energizer bunny, goin & goin. If that money is in your pocket, consider it spent. On hard your willpower is gone, your fighting to stay at the ultimate high feeling, an the first BIG ONE is only the best one, afterwards its chasin that white rabbit. The sh*t you'll do, just to earn up a bit more flow for that next hit.
Anyway, out of nowhere after a year of smokin. My paranoia starts out of control, I start thinking my mom is gonna drop in an catch me, like she's parking the car in a blindspot an sneaking in the backdoor, what a mindfuck. Now everytime, I have to have the window open now just so I can hear someone coming up, an man does your hearing become so much more precise. I have to sit on the flooor in fear of someone seeing. Then the swat teams busting through the door, or shining lights, flashlights in my Windows. frikkin shadows in the walls, hallucinations thinkin people are sticking they're heads around the corners of the hallway or my bedroom. I always feel as if I'm being watched, like my neighbors are talking sh*t about me, an telling my mom what I'm doing, taking pictures for proof. I swear someone is breakin in my house every night an climbin in my attic, an then just listening up there, opening the hatch for a peek. I walk outside high as a kite, an walk around my house lookin the windows swearing someone is sneaking around inside my house and I'm gonna catch them, I know they're there! Its insane man, the list could go on an on.
That girl is finally out of my life, but the addiction hasn't left. It sucks, I'm 27, I want to quit so badly, but as soon as I get money in hand with all this idle time. I'm on my way to see the man. Rehab isn't an option, an my willpower is garbage. Even hurting myself an all those around me, I cant bring myself to quit. God please bless me with a miracle cuz this ol fella is on dirty white boy status, an ruining my life. I've lost everything, I fear I'm losing myself.
Tbh, never try it. Its frikkin hell after so long. Wish me luck.
I stumbled across your question bc I've been experiencing an increasing paranoia on blow and I was browsing for answers.
I guess with blow, you're always chasing that intense feeling of pure happiness you experienced with your first high (and I'm not arguing that's it's like that for everybody, but for me it was). I remember my first high crystal clear and that's about 7 yrs ago by now.
Lately, I've become increasingly more and more paranoid when I'm doing blow. I find myself sneaking around my apartment, thinking my neighbours can hear me and surely they will be knocking my door and ask me to quiet down.
Then I realised that my intake had been increasing dramatically. I was sucking it down like a vacuum cleaner. I then started doing only one or to lines an hour or every second hour (depending on the purity and potency of your blow) and that solved it for me. The amount of 'vacuum cleaning' was proportionate with the paranoia - for me at least.
As a final remark, I can only support all those replies that urge you to stop using blow. Well, it's been a year since you posted the question and I sincerely hope you managed to find relief in other ways.
//C