Hey everyone. I'm a 25 year old that's used cocaine for about 3 years now. But last 4 weeks it has been pretty much every day. Just a half gram or if weekend a gram but I have now started getting a tingle around my head like someone is massaging me. I am also sweating alot at night were I wake up in puddles. Left arm gets the odd ache like I'm tensed up too much for long period of time like hiding my phone where it actually makes me now sleep on my other side. I get the odd shake day aswell where I am coming off it as have to go to work. I usually go pale I'd I don't get the right sleep aswell. Today has been the day I deleted my faithful dealer that actually tried his best to get uncut as he uses himself and hated the fact people have the cheek to do it. But yeah I know I'm going to suffer presently and in the future for this stupid drug and choosing to use it. I advise anyone looking at this stay clear trust me I'm now starting to show mental health problems that I should suffer being a fit young guy. I mean the paranoia is just enough to put you off where I think everyone is out to get me right now or hear someone talking but no one is near. Don't use the bloody sh*t! If you do stop before it's too late.
Hi all - I have been using cocaine since 2014. It’s been 4 years now. From late 2014-2017 I was using atleast 1g-2g of coke every other day. I was heavily addicted to the drug. When I first started using cocaine I absolutely loved it. The high was amazing - I felt happy, excited, social, invincable, confident and the sex was absolutely amazing... In 2015 I started going on coke binges 2-3 days at a time with atleast 5-7gs. One day I had felt my heart racing faster than normal, I was sweating, my speech started slurring and my head felt light. I remember sitting on the kitchen floor freaking out because I knew something didn’t feel right.. my boyfriend at the time told me to calm down, “you can’t overdose on coke”. Little did I know, that day was my first overdose. After that one experience, I continued to use cocaine daily and didn’t have any more bad experiences. Up until late 2016 now where I noticed my highs consisted of me needing to pace back and forth, I’d be more antsy than normal and it was happening quite often.. I also started noticing my mouth would get dry and some times I felt like I couldn’t speak, like I would just tense up and feel so uncomfortable and stiff. The come downs were starting to become worse - the depression and sadness was getting to me and I would need to take pills (melatonin, Benadryl or xanax’s) to help me fall asleep after a party night. Move forward to early 2017, I started getting extremely paranoid whenever I’d get high... I would always do “Hollywood” lines and the tension and stiffness started to get worse .. my back would start to hurt and I wouldn’t want to move, I’d be so uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do with myself. Would sit down then get up start pacing, try to lay down, then get up again and start pacing. Then I noticed the cold sweats on my hands and feet, I also noticed I would overheat... at this point I’d blame these bad trips on the batch I got that day. It didn’t stop me from continuing to use cocaine... It jus kept getting worse... I would start to hallucinate now. The paranoia, restlessness and antsyness were all still present when I’d get high, but now I would start to see my hand, right forearm and arm swell up. (They would look swollen to me but rest assured they were not. I was seeing things) this made me go into panic attack and I would freak out asking the friends around me if I look swollen.. this “swollen” hallucination started to become more and more frequent and I was getting annoyed with it because it would ruin my nights. Sometimes I’d feel completely antisocial and didn’t want to talk to anyone. When it came to sex, I felt so uncomfortable and self-conscious or jus didn’t even want to move.. I felt weak and lazy and was not in any sexual mood - I’d feel grosssd out.. I jus wanted to get high and feel the euphoria effects .. and this is now 3 years into this addiction.. my tolerance was getting higher and now I was purchasing half balls for weekdays, and an 8ball for the weekend (just for myself). It was either hit or miss whenever is snort the coke, either I was gonna get that amazing high, or I was about to go on a real bad trip.. but that good high was worth it to me so I’d take that chance and get high anyways. And then in June 2017 my best friend passed away from an accidental fentanyl overdose. It scared the sh*t out of me and I promised myself I would never touch that sh*t again. What ended up happening? A week later I grabbed a gram. My reasoning to justify this was “because I could trust my dealer and know he wouldn’t give me anything mixed with fentanyl”.. so a week after losing my best friend, I was back into the same coke habit. Again, the highs were hit or miss but more frequently I was getting the bad highs.. this really made me slow down. I was only doing coke on the weekends now. My theory was, “maybe if i don’t so it as often, the highs will always be good.” But no - I still never knew which high I’d be feeling.. and the bad trips were becoming horrible. It’s now June 2018 and I was still using coke every weekend.. but that is going to change. Last night, I decided to get high on coke with a girlfriend of mine... three lines into our party night and I couldn’t stay still. I started feeling jittery and antsy and like I had to keep moving my body. Two more lines into our night and I’m seeing my arm swell like a balloon.. I started to completely freak out. I was seeing my arm swollen and I went into a panic attack. I started breathing heavily and yelling, scared that something was definitely wrong because my arm was swollen. My girlfriend was checking out my arm and kept telling me it was not swollen at all and that I’m seeing things. But this time I was so convinced that it was real that I woke my mom up freaking out and crying telling her that I was doing coke and now my arm was swelling and how I’m scared.. my mom went in panic mode as well (obviously concerned for my health) that she took my arms to take a look. My arm was not swollen .. I was having an anxiety attack and seeing things that weren’t real. That experience brought me to this website. After googling my symptoms, I came across this thread. I can’t explain how helpful this site has been to make me realize that I will never touch cocaine again. It is not worth it. When I first started using it was fun and new to my body and I only ever felt the good high affects .. but the long term affects of cocaine use is not worth it - antsyness, paranoia, hallucinations, overheating, sweating profusely, feeling to weak to pee or poop, feeling of stiffness and discomfort, back aches, nose bleeds, feeling gross and dirty, not wanting to speak, becoming antisocial, feeling depressed and sad, not wanting to have sex or not being into it when trying to have sex. The negatives just have finally outweighed the “good high” i’d chase. Cocaine is no joke. It may seem like all fun and games. May seem harmless at the beginning and jus for recreational use. But I am warning you that addiction is real, and it ruins your life. It is not worth it. I want to say thank you to the people who have also shared their stories, it’s helped me to realize that this is the end of cocaine for me. That my life is worth living and not something to mess around with or risk cutting short just to chase a high that isn’t guaranteed.