Also in the same situation. It's been 9 months since the worse day of my life. I was 18 years old and in love with a boy who wanted me to go through with it. He told me that it would not only ruin my life but his also. Neither of us wanted our child to grow up in a broken home since we knew our relationship reached an extremely rocky stage. At that time, all I wanted to do was make him happy and follow his wishes - I tried to hold on to everything i could and grasp whatever i had left of him for him to stay. And so, I made the worse mistake of my life - I was so blinded by him I completely forgot about myself any my wellbeing. I had a long 6 week mental battle whether to push through with it but I gave in and did at the end. He left me a week later.
I wish I could of kept it, I wish that I wasen't so blinded by him and I wish I could turn back time. Not a day goes by where I don't think about what I had done. God knows how much It breaks my heart to think that right now I could be holding my first child. I pray everyday that I am guided to enlightenment and have this blanket of depression lifted from me. It's definetly a struggle seeing pregnant ladies, little babies without dreaming the thoughts of what life could be like right now if we didn't to that. I know it would of been very difficult but i would've been much more happier than the shattered plate I am now. It get's harder when I reach milestones like estimated due date, and abortion anniversary. But I know that one day I'll be looking back on how hard these lessons were and how I overcame them.
Until that day, i'm going to continue battling my inner thoughts, and keep strong. I have no idea how I'm going to recover from this but I know I will one day.
We all have to just keep getting through every-day. We did the right thing at the time, so don't worry because we're all forgiven. All we can do now is shower everyone else with love.
My best advice would to not show a sign of weakness during this Abortion depression stage infront of other people. We are strong and we will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
I wish I could of kept it, I wish that I wasen't so blinded by him and I wish I could turn back time. Not a day goes by where I don't think about what I had done. God knows how much It breaks my heart to think that right now I could be holding my first child. I pray everyday that I am guided to enlightenment and have this blanket of depression lifted from me. It's definetly a struggle seeing pregnant ladies, little babies without dreaming the thoughts of what life could be like right now if we didn't to that. I know it would of been very difficult but i would've been much more happier than the shattered plate I am now. It get's harder when I reach milestones like estimated due date, and abortion anniversary. But I know that one day I'll be looking back on how hard these lessons were and how I overcame them.
Until that day, i'm going to continue battling my inner thoughts, and keep strong. I have no idea how I'm going to recover from this but I know I will one day.
We all have to just keep getting through every-day. We did the right thing at the time, so don't worry because we're all forgiven. All we can do now is shower everyone else with love.
My best advice would to not show a sign of weakness during this Abortion depression stage infront of other people. We are strong and we will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
Although I hate the fact that other people feel this grief, it's so good to finally hear that other people feel this way. I think of myself as quite progressive and a feminist, and I absolutely think that anyone should be allowed an abortion, but I just can't get over mine. It feels like a crime that I will never be rid of.
I had a termination 10.01.17 at 9 weeks. I was offered both kinds and chose the medical option, which turned out to be excrutiatingly painful. At the time I was almost grateful, because it felt like I deserved the pain.
I am still with my partner who I love very much, and who I do believe would have supported me with whatever decision I made. He was extremely supportive whilst I was having the procedure, as well as when I had some medical complications two months later, but other than that we have never spoken about it.
I totally sympathise with your story, because I also feel convinced that he was a boy. In the months just after the abortion I genuinely think I lost my mind and at some points I'd talk to my baby, who I called Jude, and would go for walks imagining I had him in the pram etc. This sounds completely crazy I know but I just couldn't think about anything else, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it so I think I just turned inward. I've never been in any way maternal, never wanted children etc.
During the termination when I was at home after taking the second pill, I thought I had passed the foetus and crawled into the shower to wash the blood off myself (there was SO MUCH blood). I then passed the actual foetus, the image of which is permanently ingrained in my mind, and had to scoop him out of the shower.
I don't think I go a single day without thinking about what I've done or what I've lost.
I had a termination 10.01.17 at 9 weeks. I was offered both kinds and chose the medical option, which turned out to be excrutiatingly painful. At the time I was almost grateful, because it felt like I deserved the pain.
I am still with my partner who I love very much, and who I do believe would have supported me with whatever decision I made. He was extremely supportive whilst I was having the procedure, as well as when I had some medical complications two months later, but other than that we have never spoken about it.
I totally sympathise with your story, because I also feel convinced that he was a boy. In the months just after the abortion I genuinely think I lost my mind and at some points I'd talk to my baby, who I called Jude, and would go for walks imagining I had him in the pram etc. This sounds completely crazy I know but I just couldn't think about anything else, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it so I think I just turned inward. I've never been in any way maternal, never wanted children etc.
During the termination when I was at home after taking the second pill, I thought I had passed the foetus and crawled into the shower to wash the blood off myself (there was SO MUCH blood). I then passed the actual foetus, the image of which is permanently ingrained in my mind, and had to scoop him out of the shower.
I don't think I go a single day without thinking about what I've done or what I've lost.