Divorce because of husband's computer games addiction

My husband is addicted to clash of clans, he does it from the second he wakes up till he goes to bed. He does ignore our 4 year old daughter as well. I keep telling him our marriage is going to end due to his lack of motivation to get up off the couch, find a job, and or even do something around the house. He does absoulutlty nothing... He says he has no choice cause he is sick all the time, he has put on a bunch of weight too. I told him because he doesn't move and of course he is going to feel sick. When you don't move your body your not going to feel well. I don't know what to do, our daughter has been sleeping with me because she doesn't want to listen to him cussing out his phone, he has gone through a couple phones and now the tablet he is using and it is starting to act up. Probably cause he plays them non stop... I am lonely, tired of being a single mom, and tired of making excuses for him when he doesn't go somewhere. He even missed his only brothers wedding. He says its for other reasons, but he is deppressed, I read him some of ya alls post and he laughs he just says at least your not alone... 

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one and I'm sad I'm not the only one. I met my husband 8 years ago and remember that the first time hanging out I saw him playing. I never really saw a problem with games since in the past I had dated men who played games and I've never really been a nagging controlling partner. I guess when I realized that maybe his problem was not normal and bigger than I could have ever imagined was when a couple of months after being together his daughter came to live with him while her mother was deployed. I found myself pretty much doing everything for his kid, spending time with her and we would really sit around all weekend till it got dark dressed and ready to go waiting on him because of his games. I was the one cooking, cleaning, etc... I would leave meals prepared for him to feed her during the week or would go grocery shopping and help him choose appropriate meals for them and I would show up on the weekend and they would still be unprepared. So feeling worried I found myself spending more and more time at his house and found out that the reason nothing ever got done was because the second he got home from work he would put on the Telly and feed her random dry foods or any quick thing and would sit down in that computer till really late. Most of the time his kid would fall asleep in front of the tv and he would bathe her or change her diaper, etc.. He would just throw a blanket over her and when he finally would go to bed he would take her to the room. He would wake up super early during the weekends and when his kid would wake up he wouldn't even change her diaper. Most of the time it was me who normally would wake up 3 to 5 hrs after them and then her diaper would get changed and real food would go in her belly and if I ever would get mad or bring it up he would get even more angry at me. Mind you she wasn't even my kid. In the process of his kid living with us and I becoming her primary caregiver/ single parent I found out I was pregnant. Thought things would be different but they only got worst. So many years we fought, so many arguments we had, thousands and thousands of dollars through the year were wasted on mmorpg games. Tried so many times to put my foot down and monitor his gaming but we always ended back to square one until I realized it was a full blown addiction. I've tried blocking and monitoring his moves through the years but addicts are so good at fooling you to belueve they are clean and when you least expect it, you realize it's all been a lie. And they aren't any better than they were on day 1. I have a 6 year old with him and through and through I've prayed and hoped he would eventually change but he hasn't. His and our daughters relationship is strained because of his addictions. He is pretty useless as the man of the house since he never gets the things that need to get done around the home done. For years I've felt like a single mom and our relationship as a couple is none existent. He likes to create conflict and distance between us so like that he can sit alone in a room playing games. And now I feel I have no other choice but to throw the towel in and just walk away. An addict can never get better until he is ready and I personally believe he doesn't care and isn't interested in getting better and I'm just pooped and done. So I'm sorry I can't lift you up and tell you to stick it out but the truth is that unless he wants to change he isn't going to. As hard as it is you need to accept that his addiction is more important than you or even his kids can ever be. And it's up to you how much more time you want to throw away.

I'm in the same exact boat. Glad I found other females struggling with this. My bf of almost two years now has pushed me away for the game Clash of Clans. I work a part time job and he works a full time job. As soon as he gets home he says "Make dinner and put the coffee on," and proceeds to play Clash of Clans on his phone. I try talking to him while he plays but he just responds with "Baby, daddys trying to win a war." We never talk anymore and if we do it's about Clash of Clans. I'm at whits end with this game. Recently he's been adding his clan members on Google+ including the females in the game. I have no idea who they are and when I ask him who they are he just tells me to mind my own business and gets defensive. We have no sex life whatsoever anymore and we've become distant. I thought his video game addiction was bad before with the PS3 but atleast when I could actually see him playing I would talk to him about what was happening in the game and we would joke around. This isn't the case anymore. I just really had to get this off my chest and it's hard because I do love him but when I confront him about his addiction we just end up fighting and he always thinks he's right.

I have done everything to get my husband off that computer game. He says it is a hobby, not an addiction. Whoever creates these games knows how to play into the addictive personality. Sad to see someone just disappear. They dont want to do anything except the game and the anger and rage they feel when anything interrupts them. It takes over their whole life. I have given up. The money spent on the game was the first indication from there every few months a huge fight over it. Now I have given up, my husband is gone. My first husband was cocaine and this is worse for me because the rage that comes with it is unparalelled. I have to make my own life without him because i can no longer tolerate fighting over it. So good to read other people who are going through the same thing. I see my friend couples and they are enjoying life together. He has absolutely no interest in enjoying anything outside of the game. Thank you for this post. I wish there was an in person group ... like alanon ... so are so many people that need help dealing with the rage the money the loss of the other person. Prayer is the only thing that gets me through.

Absolutely agree we teach our children to not play violent games as its been researched too much and too much gaming is addictive. Seen it and yes I to have done it a few times so I understand but why is it a man cannot control these tendencies..altjough I stopped as losing sleep and had better things to do with my time here on Earth so after some thought...my answer to this is they are the weaker sex. Divorce as that man you married and raised children with has stopped being a responsible role model and has reverted back to being a child and he already had a mom, the vows say worse but you married a man not a child. Why stay when his priorities are screwed up if anything the man need psycological treatment. The war started when he removed himself from being in the women and children's side..he is by all essence a coward the games make men into downright cowards.

The game will take everything and uour husband is allowing it...separate and document all finances for splitting the debt asap

My ex husband was a computer game addict.  I put up with it for many years.  I struggled a lot with anger. I lived just like a single mother. Abandonment and neglect are real abuse. He was always sitting in front of the computer in his underwear for hours on end. Anywhere between 8 to 20 hours a day.  I was so lonely.  It was being overcome with depression. I had tried everything I could think of to get him out of that world. For many years I would take my kids over to visit my parents. We would stay all day on the weekends because I didn't want them to feel the pain of being ignored. When we stayed at home, my ex husband  would be asleep after gaming all night.  He would only get off the computer to go out to eat or when he wanted sex.  Eventually, I lost hope. I could not keep the kids from feeling the pain forever.  I held on for so long.  I could not relate to anyone about this at work.  I didn't even tell my parents because I wanted them to think well of my ex husband.  Eventually, I told him I could not go on like this.  I told him if he would just help me out at home some that this was what would allow me to continue.

To continue-  I told my ex husband this a year before I left.  Seeing the kids in pain and also my own pain had reached an unbarable peak.  The kids and I moved in with my parents.  I was never one to believe in divorce. It was very hard to make that decision.  My ex wrote me hate mail at my workplace for two and a half years.  He also wrote to tell me about the women he was sleeping while we were married as well.  I was afraid, but it was the best decision  given the circumstances.  I felt as if a weight had been lifted, a three hundred and fifty pound lazy good for nothing weight!  Don't try to run out and find another guy right away.  I know it's hard. A starving person will consume anything and you will not be healed. Turn to Jesus. He really is the answer.  Five years later I married a guy I met at church.  I am very happy now.He is good to my kids,a jewel of a man,responsible,kind, and not addicted.  

Hi. My husband is so addicted to clash of clan that he can afford not to eat just to play d whole day. He lost his job and stay at home playing d whole day. I work clean d house, pay all d bills and do everything. While he just get upset and not talk to me if i tried to communicate and give some few amount of money tl my sister. He said he hate me for not listening to him of not giving my sister some assistance. He hated my sister. And he hated me as well. He has all the guts to say this though he is d jobless one unorganize one who spend d whole day playing. While he doesnt event understand why d hell im so angry.. he even fight with me for amswering why he play. I feel so abused.. unloved ugly and all other negative thoughts. He doesnt care at all. He said he will leave me and bring my 2 yr old baby with him and look for another wife.. he is so impossible. He thinks he has a good job and woman might just love him. I want to just have a normal life with my child with out him. So that he will realize how lucky he was to just sit d whole day and play providing all his needs.. while of he will be out there with someone, she will demand him to work for thier needs...

Noshould be able to sit at home, not work and live like a parasite off his wife. Who needs an exploiter.  These men are narcissists and only really care about themselves! Actions speak louder than words ladies!

My heart breaks for you cause im in the same boat.He can stop gaming to sh*t, eat, make love and go wear he wants to go but when I need his time he says he's busy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate more than computers.

Gamer Husband here. I've always been a gamer and since getting married, I've only been able to play 3-5 hours a week, not even enough to keep me interested in a game, moslty due to work and owning a home(no kids). For the entire duration of our marraige I have been the sole provider. Because of an injury that she had after we started dating, she had to quit her job, and because she doesn't have a college degree, she hasn't been able to find jobs that accomodate her health restrictions(physically easy job). I have always done 100% manual labor around the house and shared 50% of cooking, cleaning, and indoor chores until 8 months ago when her condition got worst. Once her condition got worst, she wasn't able to help with chorse, so now I do all the cooking, cleaning, yard work, bringing in income, and bathing our dogs.

8 Weeks ago, she had surgery to fix her physical issues. My job worked it out so that I could work from home on my computer while she is recovering. So for the past 8 weeks, I have done everything I mentioned above while catering to her needs throughout the day. Also, around that time, I started really getting into the game Destiny. I didn't get to play much the first 2 weeks after her surgery, but soon after I was about to get in an hour or two about every other day. I want to note, that I haven't found a game that I enjoy this much since I was 14 (I'm 27 now). It got to the point that she doesn't like me playing in the evenings after I'm done working because she wants to spend that time with me. I get that, I want that too, so I started getting up early and playing in the mornings before I start working. She was ok with that until this morning when she found out I get up at 5am and play for 2-3 hours until I start working around 8am. I've been doing this routine for about 2 weeks now. She flipped out on me telling me I'm an addict and that I've got a problem and I need help. I will go along with it, sure "I'm an addict." But even so, what is wrong with me doing what I want without interferring with what she wants? What does this hurt? Why is she threatening to leave me if I don't change? Why do I have to? I love her and I want don't want to lose her, but this feels unfair. Money has been really tight, and I'm spending my free time doing something I love to do during a time that doesn't impact her and doesn't impact our bank account like other hobbies. 

I've contacted a counseling agency to schedule a new patient appointment. But I don't intend on backing off just because she doesn't like it.  I still do the cooking, I still do the laundry, I still provide everything that we possibly need and I still spend time with her in the evenings when I'm not working. Why should I give up my enjoyment? Why does she think it's ok to demand that of me after everything I've done for her? I don't want a divorce and I don't want to lose her, what should I do?

Hello i have the same problem with the same game can i please ask how u over came this and did it get better

I haven't overcome this yet. We are still trying to work this out. From her point of view, she sees this as an addiction and has decided to stop nagging me about it. She as agreed to work with me as long as we follow through with the counseling. I'm guessing seeing is hoping that counseling will unravel this deep issue that I have with myself that fuels my "excessive" game playing. I am 100% willing to do this because I don't want to lose my wife, but it still doesn't feel fair that she expects me to reduce my personal time that I spend towards gaming. We will see what happens. If you are having the same issue, I strongly urge you to seek marriage counseling. If your husband refuses just to go to counseling, well then you've got a tough road ahead of you.

Thank yo for the reply I have no problems with my husband playing this game but it is taking over his life he is not sleeping and is only playing the game we have talked about it and I have said about himself seeing a counselor but he doesn't want to talk to anyone. I will take your advise and see about myself talking to someone to see what I can do to help. We have agreed not to talk about the game as well I wish you luck with your journey again thank you was just nice finding and talking to someone who was going thought the same thing and maybe there is light at the end on the long tunnel.