Me back out again and even to a degree quieted my mind more than I experienced. Then a few years past and I lost my insurance coverage and the voices were back again making up for lost time. I had stop practicing my technics in control and awareness and it was the hardest struggle I had yet endured since the traumatic event. I refused to take more meds because it dulled my ability to learn control and need for awareness of what was happening when paranoia had its grip on me. But I persevered and made back to a place again that I could live with the other in my head and developed a method that challenged my paranoia. I had learned that the voices were going to be there no matter what I did. I taught myself to learn to keep up with whom was around me in my home, work, and at other various places. I looked to faces as my determining factor of if it was real or not. I would see if they were talking to me if it was a familiar voice. If it was not a known voice or my own I would kinda take mini meditation moments and tell myself that It was schizophrenia doing its thing. With paranoia I kept a small book that had names of people I knew and I would only write in it a record of good deeds and positive things I had seen these people do. Never and I mean. Ever wrote but possibly capable of this or I think that might be what their up to. It would reinforce my trust in them and helped keep paranoia at a minimum. Although I admit new people posed the biggest problems to me without really having known or experienced their characters. I missed out on a lot of good potential friends I'm sure. My methods were not perfect and for my degree of schizophrenia it worked enough. For years I was able to hide my illness. Until around age 40. Now for some reason my mind is gearing towards fixation on one problem that troubles me and I become paranoid that this person/s are against me or dislike me. I am becoming cofussed between what's real and not especially when I have a flashback or a terrible nightmare. I have become to isolate barely leaving my room. Work has become a issue as this thinking and paranoia affects my relationships with coworkers and supervisors. I think they are all to get me. I know logically that the possibility of this benign fact is unlikely but non the less I struggle with it. I have started seeing a professional for medication management by I feel paranoid they are likely not giving anything by pills that a placebos or pills that are meant to keep me catatonic and more playable. I find myself becoming more irritated and visualize hurting them to protect mySelf. I used to be able to visit sanity and stability in my regularly through out the day previously. Now I can barely hope they don't get or hurt me once a week or so. Only thing that has stuck with me is my ability to hide my manifestations and once I feel in a uncontrollable state I go isolate myself self and start talking to myself and the others in my head to calm myself down. My emotional state once amped up is nearly uncontrollable. Good news is I have surrendered to the fact I do need meds And psychiatric care now and am actively involved in treatment. There are some improvement all ready but a long road I know still lays before me. So for all the postings I see here claiming schizophrenia doesn't get worst typically. I am hear to tell you that in my case it has. I know comments will infer that my PTSD experience may at play hear in amplifying my issues. Logically that sound perfectly saine to assume that. But no matter the underlying cause it's progressed into this dibilitating illness I can not control very much longer. I have accepted my fate and haven't accepted that I will be defeated. I will adapt as I can if an when I can. The best advice i can give to a fello schitzo, learn your self and don't be afraid to accept that the symptoms. Once you surrender and allow your understanding of yourself takes hold you can begin having hope that the illness is you and you then have the power to adapt yourself into a functioning, productive human being. Hope this helps someone :)
I am an adult with schizophrenia and I believe it gets worse over time. I think my underlying disease is a degenerative neuro muscular condition, as I suffer from sleeping 12 hours a day, motor weakness, difficulty speaking. This society we live in allows the weak minded to die off. Some of the time it is "psychological warfare". I being of the feeble minded am more likely to die of suicide or stress. I have given up on the working world because I can't do physical labor. I take medicine by mouth to treat my symptoms, I also drink a lot of coffee and smoke cigarettes because I am short on energy. My best friend is my dad and even with him I struggle because of my symptoms. All that being said, I have a pretty good life and am glad to be alive. One thing I would tell people is try not to take out your disease or baggage on other people.