Hi,
I have been in a similar situation time and again. The only solution is to stop masturbating! Why? It's pretty simple. Your penis is so used to your hand; meaning the friction and the resistance provided by your hand upon your penis is what really stimulates us in the first place. Think about it. You are lying down and thinking of someone giving you a f**ng amazing bj. at this time you have your penis in your hand, gripping it in a way you like to provide you with a resistance to get stimulated. and you cum loads!!!
This may be explained in a two step scenario:
1. ) during foreplay (which includes caressing, kissing, bj etc) your mind and body works together all aroused. (Note you don't get to foreplay during self-masturbation) hence to your mind and body this is something new, something not frequently practiced, hence the result is arousal which leads to erection.
2) during the time of intercourse; your mind and body immediately changes over to what you are so used to: "masturbation". your mind thinks that you will be able to have the same friction/resistance which you have during self-masturbation. why? it's something to do with the brain cells (lol, of course it is). and when you don't feel that resistance applied onto your penis; you loose interest. because your mind is not used to this new method of "getting-off". it takes time for the mind to adapt to this new way of putting your penis into the vagina, getting used to the soft resistance provided by the vaginal walls and most importantly the rate of control. Rate of control over your penis is only achieved with practice. in self-masturbation you are in charge of your penis and can control when you wanna cum or how aroused you wanna be before actually you shoot-out your load!
so to all my dear friends who may have lost their self-esteem or women who think it's their fault, remember that when there is a will there is way. stop masturbating indefinitely! try to concentrate on getting aroused during intercourse and believe me at first when you have achieved that you will cum within minutes. you will get so aroused by the thought of getting laid "the traditional way" that you would be longing for a p***y where you can put your penis in. the idea of masturbation will eventually die down. you will reach a stage where masturbation will be secondary to you.
good luck!
johndoe
p.s. good exercise, eating healthy will of course boost your stamina and believe me you will need this once you "master" your erection during intercourse
I have been in a similar situation time and again. The only solution is to stop masturbating! Why? It's pretty simple. Your penis is so used to your hand; meaning the friction and the resistance provided by your hand upon your penis is what really stimulates us in the first place. Think about it. You are lying down and thinking of someone giving you a f**ng amazing bj. at this time you have your penis in your hand, gripping it in a way you like to provide you with a resistance to get stimulated. and you cum loads!!!
This may be explained in a two step scenario:
1. ) during foreplay (which includes caressing, kissing, bj etc) your mind and body works together all aroused. (Note you don't get to foreplay during self-masturbation) hence to your mind and body this is something new, something not frequently practiced, hence the result is arousal which leads to erection.
2) during the time of intercourse; your mind and body immediately changes over to what you are so used to: "masturbation". your mind thinks that you will be able to have the same friction/resistance which you have during self-masturbation. why? it's something to do with the brain cells (lol, of course it is). and when you don't feel that resistance applied onto your penis; you loose interest. because your mind is not used to this new method of "getting-off". it takes time for the mind to adapt to this new way of putting your penis into the vagina, getting used to the soft resistance provided by the vaginal walls and most importantly the rate of control. Rate of control over your penis is only achieved with practice. in self-masturbation you are in charge of your penis and can control when you wanna cum or how aroused you wanna be before actually you shoot-out your load!
so to all my dear friends who may have lost their self-esteem or women who think it's their fault, remember that when there is a will there is way. stop masturbating indefinitely! try to concentrate on getting aroused during intercourse and believe me at first when you have achieved that you will cum within minutes. you will get so aroused by the thought of getting laid "the traditional way" that you would be longing for a p***y where you can put your penis in. the idea of masturbation will eventually die down. you will reach a stage where masturbation will be secondary to you.
good luck!
johndoe
p.s. good exercise, eating healthy will of course boost your stamina and believe me you will need this once you "master" your erection during intercourse
I have the same problem and it seems to go the same way with alot of people whove written here, I can masturbate fine, get erections from seeing a sexy girl,or kissing cudding touching etc, but as soon as I realise im in a bedroom and its time to have sex the only thoughts that are running through my mind is "PLZ GOD dont make me lose my erection again" and you know what...it happens again.
I think whats important is to not start creating more problems in your own head by suggesting youve got some kind of new disese, or that you need to take medicine or an injection, thinking things like that is only going to make ur problem worse, THE PROBLEM is, its bascially down to nerves, if you can get an erection from masturbation then ur penis works perfectly fine, and normal sexual intercourse is possible for you.Whats happening is that you have created a physcological worry in your head which blocks of your sexual responses as soon as you know your about to have intercourse.Which is why some of you may not feel any sensation as soon as you start having sex, your body and mind is not relaxed your in a state of panic..your penis dosent work under panic it works under pleasure.
I dont have the answers to your problems but I can tell you know its all in your head so take comfort in that fact, you have to stop worrying so much is the main goal, your also probably lacking confidence and your beaten before youve already started.
ITs a vicious cycle you will get out off, one day ur have sex and she''ll say something thatll give u that tiny bit of confidence your need and thatll be it...then ur look back at this problem and think "WHAT AN EARTH WAS I THINKING"
its just a stupid worry remember that!
I think whats important is to not start creating more problems in your own head by suggesting youve got some kind of new disese, or that you need to take medicine or an injection, thinking things like that is only going to make ur problem worse, THE PROBLEM is, its bascially down to nerves, if you can get an erection from masturbation then ur penis works perfectly fine, and normal sexual intercourse is possible for you.Whats happening is that you have created a physcological worry in your head which blocks of your sexual responses as soon as you know your about to have intercourse.Which is why some of you may not feel any sensation as soon as you start having sex, your body and mind is not relaxed your in a state of panic..your penis dosent work under panic it works under pleasure.
I dont have the answers to your problems but I can tell you know its all in your head so take comfort in that fact, you have to stop worrying so much is the main goal, your also probably lacking confidence and your beaten before youve already started.
ITs a vicious cycle you will get out off, one day ur have sex and she''ll say something thatll give u that tiny bit of confidence your need and thatll be it...then ur look back at this problem and think "WHAT AN EARTH WAS I THINKING"
its just a stupid worry remember that!
I knoww the answeerr! u nneed to get bigger sized condoms, theyre cutting off some of ur circulation,,, therefor ur not able to get an erection, makes perfect sense. When its off u can get an erection its just when you put the condom on it goes awayy!
get a bigger condom!!!
get a bigger condom!!!
Man.. I am having the same problem, to be honest i just had the problem. receiving hand and blow jobs are amazing and they keep me "hard" but right when it comes to sex.. in the begining im rock solid, but i can slowly feel myself dimming away. i think its because i get bored with sex easy because i dont really feel anything from it. from the past 5 times ive had sex (different women) only once have i remained solid.. i dont know anymore
Guys, guys, guys! Stop whining and get your heads in the game. I'm a man. I've had this happen. Every guy does at one point in time. If you haven't then I'm gonna make a suggestion as to why: In every sexual situation you've ever been in, you've been comfortable and confident and willing to put in a good amount of work with your lady. Men tend to think that sex is something that should be fun and easy. We think that way because we crave it constantly. The truth is that sex is hard work (good sex is anyway) and it requires a lot of endurance. Stop being so lazy. Get yourselves in shape and stop complaining about how sex doesn't give you the sensation that masturbating does. Your hand can do whatever you want it to. You can't ask that of her vagina. Masturbation is quick, easy, and convenient. Sexual intercourse is not. It's all mental man. Get your head in the game. Get some esteem about yourself. Be a man. Be proud. Have an ego. Make her yours. Own her body. Stop being selfish. Talk dirty. And most of all. Don't let her rush you. Yes she wants sex. Real sex, not foreplay. Sure, she can get off with foreplay and yes it is absolutely necessary but the genuine article is what she wants, and she will wait for it. Don't let her cravings get you all bent out of shape. Waiting doesn't do anything but increase the intensity of her experience anyway. Tease her. Build your own sexual identity. All great men in history have one thing in common reputation wise: They were all great lovers. So damnit, be a great lover. Be confident and stop overthinking. She's a fragile little submissive woman who can't handle your whole erection anyway, as a matter of fact she's scared of it. She can't have an orgasm without feeling like you (the man) are winning the internal sexual competition. So in that case, think of it as a sport. Play harder than her. And play for the score, cuz if she ain't gettin off with you she's gonna go elsewhere, and if you can't even stay hard then you're not exactly dealing out pleasure like the ice cream man at the public pool on Saturday. So cmon guys, all of you know what the problem is. Its in your head. Its not a medical issue that you can solve with a magical cure. Get focused and stop being little girls. If you wanna have sex with that woman then stop worrying and start thrusting. For god's sake, the media has screwed you all up. You're not inadequate or less of a man than Gerard Butler just because he's a scottish spartan with abs. Your woman couldn't pull Gerard Butler anyway. Any man with the necessary equipment can satisfy a woman immensely and I do mean IMMENSELY. Stop letting people convince you that you've gotta be a pornstar. But never forget this, Pornstars don't have erection issues, and it has nothing to do with genetics or pills or testosterone or attractive partners, its about confidence. Try having some. Be men. Lay the friggin lumber and stop whining.
Same problem also- think I'm starting to fix it now via this: 1) Stop masturbating or if you must... don't use your hand - try moving against something. After say a week or 2 you will feel harder when erect and ever so more sensitive.
I found that if she slowly rubs my penis before hand it can help.
I noticed that when she is doggy or facing away from me i simply go hard and slow and eventually feel it building up then I come.
So I figured that this position was tighter and I mentally felt relaxed not having her looking at me( my mind f*****g it all up).
However, I noticed that last night we had sex with me on top and after going slowly and just feeling more connected i did not find it nervy looking into her eyes and suddenly felt more tingle and the orgasm building up then I came after never being able to before and with no metal porn playing ha ha.
I used to masturbate like 4-5 times a day every day (now 30 yrs old). Stopped that and it does make a difference and its worth it when you come during sex. So I now know that my mental block needs to be getting over the nervy/anxiety as it kills the tingle feeling prior to build up. Also, some vaginas are really tight and my ex-gf was really tight just as gripping as my hand was so it helped. However, still a mental block can kill the feeling no matter how hot or tight she is. I know my issue it 99% mental and is getting better as I learn to believe she is enjoying it and feeling the connection with me as we both reach orgasm. All vaginas are the same really fi you ask me and get tighter as they feel you build up to orgasm- it's our heads that are f*****g it up.
Hope this helps..
I found that if she slowly rubs my penis before hand it can help.
I noticed that when she is doggy or facing away from me i simply go hard and slow and eventually feel it building up then I come.
So I figured that this position was tighter and I mentally felt relaxed not having her looking at me( my mind f*****g it all up).
However, I noticed that last night we had sex with me on top and after going slowly and just feeling more connected i did not find it nervy looking into her eyes and suddenly felt more tingle and the orgasm building up then I came after never being able to before and with no metal porn playing ha ha.
I used to masturbate like 4-5 times a day every day (now 30 yrs old). Stopped that and it does make a difference and its worth it when you come during sex. So I now know that my mental block needs to be getting over the nervy/anxiety as it kills the tingle feeling prior to build up. Also, some vaginas are really tight and my ex-gf was really tight just as gripping as my hand was so it helped. However, still a mental block can kill the feeling no matter how hot or tight she is. I know my issue it 99% mental and is getting better as I learn to believe she is enjoying it and feeling the connection with me as we both reach orgasm. All vaginas are the same really fi you ask me and get tighter as they feel you build up to orgasm- it's our heads that are f*****g it up.
Hope this helps..
I'm 35 and this happens to me OFTEN. I thought it was condoms, not necessarily. My cardio, health, food is pretty great. I find it completely strange that if you search the net, there are HUNDREDS of us online complaining about this and no solution has been found. Just a bunch of trial and error conjecture.
I have found many times, that if I take it really slow and do a lot of kissing then sometimes it may stay up (but only if the girl is new to me, if I've slept with her before then no luck no point). Totally random. I've also have had a couple of random times where I'm hard as a rock but can't finish (weird). Leads me to believe there's a large psychological component BUT at the same time I noticed that even though I work out and eat right, I do get kinda tired. Perhaps blood is flowing to other parts of our bodies while we're trying to have sex, that combined with the psychological component.
I also think part of the problem is (And let me know if you feel this way too), many times I have sex because I feel I should be having sex. I may actually reather watch a movie or something, but am too ashamed to admit it (or am scared that I will regret passing up the sex).
I have found many times, that if I take it really slow and do a lot of kissing then sometimes it may stay up (but only if the girl is new to me, if I've slept with her before then no luck no point). Totally random. I've also have had a couple of random times where I'm hard as a rock but can't finish (weird). Leads me to believe there's a large psychological component BUT at the same time I noticed that even though I work out and eat right, I do get kinda tired. Perhaps blood is flowing to other parts of our bodies while we're trying to have sex, that combined with the psychological component.
I also think part of the problem is (And let me know if you feel this way too), many times I have sex because I feel I should be having sex. I may actually reather watch a movie or something, but am too ashamed to admit it (or am scared that I will regret passing up the sex).
I am seeing a guy now and we are experiencing the same situation. Rock hard and ready, then loses it during sex. This guy and myself have been around the world a time or two, he is very self confident, as I am. Prior to getting to this point, we have had the conversations about how "different" this relationship is and waiting for the right time, we both want it to last....So we finally decide we are ready and shocking to both of us, this happens..not once but twice. He says he has anxiety because he is so into "us." I let him know I am comfortable waiting until he is thru this stage and he can talk to me about it. However, I wish there was more that I could do to get into his head and make him confident this isn't going to mess things up. Both of us are in our mid 30's and take care of ourselves so I know it's mental. And I know it is eating at him. I want so bad to make it better for us both.
my gf recently cheated on me and it tore me up pretty good.but she told me i meant the world to her and it would NEVER happen again. the bottom line is that now when we have sex i can go good for about ten minutes but then i just start to get bored or something, so i go soft.i try to regain my boner with ways that i usually do and they always work but now nothin.i can masturbate just fine and get hard all the time. could it be that i'm afraid i'm not stackin up to the other guy? what do you guys think
Hi all,
There is a remdy in Homeopaty & its called Licyopodium 200, basically it is for increasing one's confidence level.
As this problem is related to confidence lost due to ill experiance during last intercourse.
Try only 7-8 drops of the medicine in about 50ml clean water (especially in a glass tumbler) ONCE every week for about 2 months or till you feel that you have regained your lost strength.
So.
ENJOY great sex every time any time
This was also a problem for me, but I solved it by using a natural product called regenerect. It last for 3 days and unless you are allergic to shell fish, it is very safe, effective and will not give you any of the nasty side effects of the drugs out there.
You can get a free sample where I get my supply (see below)
Good luck and be happy!
Toby
You can get a free sample where I get my supply (see below)
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Good luck and be happy!
Toby
its all in your head guys my bf has the same problem and he is 20 and as i said to him u think about it after the first time and it is also a confidence thing just have the confidence and dont think about it thats what i said last night to him and it worked so its all just in your head <3
Last night I was with my girlfriend (who by the way I am hardcore in love with and she is incredibly beautiful)and we were at her house making out and all that good stuff, she gives me head for like 30 minutes and I am ROCK hard, like hard enough to hunt with.. well it got dark and her parents were upstairs so we left the house and went to this secluded area behind a school, we make out and I got hard, I ate her out and while I was doing that for like an hour I lost my boner because I was concentrating on her. She came and then we started kissing again, I got hard again and she went down to give me more head(by the way shes amazing at it) and progressively I started losing my boner and I was like wtf dude why so we madeout again and I tried to put it in her and I got soft again!! She gave me head one more time and I couldn't fully get hard. She just stopped and got really quiet and I felt like a jackass. Later on that night when I drove home(I'm cussing screaming and insulting myself the whole time) I call her, she told me she stopped because she felt as though I found her unattractive and that was the reason why I couldn't get it up. I re-assured her MANY times that it wasn't her fault, I told her shes beautiful and that she turns me on VERY much and that she was really really good, I blamed the whole thing on a really bad migraine(I had one but it hasn't ever stopped me before) but I just can't understand why the hell I lost it!! And this is like the 10th time we've fooled around and it wasn't an issue prior to this. I eat healthy, exercise daily and drink plenty of water. I don't do drugs or drink large amounts of alcohol. I have no problem masturbating THINKING about her or even before when we had sex and all that stuff before. Just this time really annoyed me and really pissed me off. Feedback to this would be MUCH appreciated. :/
I think it's called "Partial Erectile Dysfunction". The technique "Sensate Focus" might help. Have a look :
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im 18 andi have had the same issue twice now..to make the whole "dilemma" more interesting, i have had sex successfully before..so i keep thinking to myself about what it might be..i have a few ideas, and i would be interested to hear what you all think.(maybe you guys can relate in some sense)..so first of all, i have to say im not very happy with my body..i guess im quite muscular, and I have not had issues in getting girls (oh yes;)) no but jokes aside.im wondering if it is because of that that i sometimes feel undesireble and then lose my sex rive.so i was wondering maybe it's cause of that.. ALSO, for the ones that think that alcohol makes you lose your boner, the only times that i have actually managed to have sex, i was drunk/really tipsy/ or 3 o'clock in the night after having puked my guts out cause of alcohol..the times it didnt work, i was not drunk. furthermore, i have thought about what else could affect it, and i think it might be because im not so close with the girls ive had sex with. i mean, one of them was a very good friend, and with her i never had issues. recently i was gonna have sex with a girl i really like (who is a virgin) and so i thought, either i dont know her to well or maybe it turns me off that she is so tight or maybe just that she is a virgin turns me off..i dont know, i wouldnt want to think that virginity turns me off, and i hope it isnt because of that. it also doesnt make sense, because the other time it didnt work, the girl had had sex before. i dont know what more i have thought of, but i dont like this thing where i cant rely on my OWN PENIS..haha..i keep telling myself," it is my body, and it should do what I want"..right? and what is there not to want when it comes to sex with girls that I really want to be close to?.meh..im pretty sure im not gay, i mean i am not like against it or anything, but i have always really enjoyed the beauty of the female body and i find them very appealing. also
THE MOST IMPORTANT THOUGHT!!!: maybe, foreplay ruins the buzz..i dont know, i mean, i like it but maybe having a foreplay that is too long after some time kills your penis..haha..i dont know.i thought about it, and realized, the times that i worked without any problems, we had some foreplay but it wasnt like one hour long or something...so maybe that might solve the problems that you guys have=) i dont know..i was thinknig maybe i should talk to some therapist about it, but then again, i can talk to myself..it is about me, and realy just concerns me..so i should be able to solve the mental issues, no?...good luck to you peops..maybe one day i will understand this whole thing..till then, stay cool everybody=)
THE MOST IMPORTANT THOUGHT!!!: maybe, foreplay ruins the buzz..i dont know, i mean, i like it but maybe having a foreplay that is too long after some time kills your penis..haha..i dont know.i thought about it, and realized, the times that i worked without any problems, we had some foreplay but it wasnt like one hour long or something...so maybe that might solve the problems that you guys have=) i dont know..i was thinknig maybe i should talk to some therapist about it, but then again, i can talk to myself..it is about me, and realy just concerns me..so i should be able to solve the mental issues, no?...good luck to you peops..maybe one day i will understand this whole thing..till then, stay cool everybody=)