Do people tend to be more sensitive on things they are already insecure about? Just a theory.
Could it be that the way someone expresses comments does it matter? I do not take kindly to someone using labels or categorically accuse me of traits in my character. Yet, when criticism is done in a conversational tone I rather appreciate the advice.
I know that I am, absolutely. My father, great though he is, has said some things to me regarding my parenting. Harsh things. So now, when the boyfriend says something even remotely critical about this, I hear my dad, and I get defensive right away.
And it's not that I'm an awful parent, but I'm not as good as I'd like to be on some days. I have my own demons to deal with, and anyone saying something to me about this subject brings up that guilt, my feelings of inadequacy, etc.
But like I said, I'm getting better at coming down from the feelings too. And what is even better is that I finally have someone who is helping me raise the kids. I've been doing it all alone for so long that I've kind of got tunnel vision. It is nice to have input and explore other options (like bedtimes, punishments, how to handle Libby when she does X, Y, Z, etc.) that I might not have considered on my own.
And it's not that I'm an awful parent, but I'm not as good as I'd like to be on some days. I have my own demons to deal with, and anyone saying something to me about this subject brings up that guilt, my feelings of inadequacy, etc.
But like I said, I'm getting better at coming down from the feelings too. And what is even better is that I finally have someone who is helping me raise the kids. I've been doing it all alone for so long that I've kind of got tunnel vision. It is nice to have input and explore other options (like bedtimes, punishments, how to handle Libby when she does X, Y, Z, etc.) that I might not have considered on my own.