I also feel the same. I am a 23 y/o female and have had several sexual encounters with different men, and my current boyfriend who I love dearly. Sex is mildly painful and definitely not enjoyable. I don't ever get a strong primal feeling or desire to want to have sex. I would avoid it if possible. Even oral sex is boring and kind just feels "warm" and slobbery. I can orgasm through masturbation but no man (or woman!) has ever given me an orgasm or any extreme pleasure. I feel empty. I wish there was a pill or some answer for this. It's terrible.
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After reading all of these i'm glad i'm not the only one who feels this way. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't become turned on when I have sex. I mean I know that i'm 19 and only started having sex recently but I still feel very bad. I've been told that the guys i've been with are just inexperienced, but i don't think that's so much the case anymore. Yes I can understand it with the first guy,he was a virgin, but the other 2 weren't and had practice. Is there anyway to fix this? I want to experience the closeness of making love with whomever I marry.
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Guest wrote:
This is, by far, one of the least constructive and most disparaging comments I've ever stumbled upon. Congratulations- you officially lack any emotional or cognitive sensitivity. We're obviously discussing an issue that is of SUBSTANTIAL importance to us. If we didn't care or were unaware of the significance of this problem, especially in regards to our relationships, we wouldn't be talking about it. This forum didn't automatically pop up when we logged onto our computers. We looked for it. I unfortunately have an issue with this, so you must understand my reaction. I'm a 26 year old woman who has been in a relationship with a wonderful man for 3 years. We have tried everything to motivate me, stimulate me, and keep me engaged in the act....obviously- to no avail. I'm so fortunate to be with a person who is not only understanding and patient, but who also reminds me DAILY of how fortunate he feels to be with me! And that's so important because (as far fetched as this may sound to those who don't have this problem) not being able to enjoy sex or reach orgasm has left me feeling pretty inadequate as a woman. It deeply affects my confidence and I often feel resentful and frustrated. Imagine not being able to taste food. That's my sex life. So, next time you decide to post something, think about....just try thinking in general. Start with that.
All of you women are crazy. your men are NOT going to stick around for this their whole lives. You need to learn to enjoy or learn to fake it but give it up. If you don't, and he doesn't stay don't say no one ever warned you.
This is, by far, one of the least constructive and most disparaging comments I've ever stumbled upon. Congratulations- you officially lack any emotional or cognitive sensitivity. We're obviously discussing an issue that is of SUBSTANTIAL importance to us. If we didn't care or were unaware of the significance of this problem, especially in regards to our relationships, we wouldn't be talking about it. This forum didn't automatically pop up when we logged onto our computers. We looked for it. I unfortunately have an issue with this, so you must understand my reaction. I'm a 26 year old woman who has been in a relationship with a wonderful man for 3 years. We have tried everything to motivate me, stimulate me, and keep me engaged in the act....obviously- to no avail. I'm so fortunate to be with a person who is not only understanding and patient, but who also reminds me DAILY of how fortunate he feels to be with me! And that's so important because (as far fetched as this may sound to those who don't have this problem) not being able to enjoy sex or reach orgasm has left me feeling pretty inadequate as a woman. It deeply affects my confidence and I often feel resentful and frustrated. Imagine not being able to taste food. That's my sex life. So, next time you decide to post something, think about....just try thinking in general. Start with that.
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for me I use to like sex then one day boom all of a sudden i didnt enjoy it anymore i remember the moment...i was having intercourse and it seemed like my down there went all numb...now i dont think this is normal...now i having sex doesnt seem the same anymore...this is not normal right?
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I used to enjoy sex as well. When I was in high school I was easily aroused, however my sexual encounters were minimal and I only had actual sex twice. As insane as it sounds, I'm almost regretful that I didn't do it more. Maybe when ya don't use it- ya lose it?! But in all seriousness, when I turned 18 my doctor prescribed an antidepressant. Prior to starting the treatment I slowly started noticing a dramatic change in my libido. When I engaged in intercourse I felt completely numb. I suppose I can attribute the initial decrease in desire and sensitivity to depression. I was very stressed out and nervous upon entering college so far from home. I've also read that certain antidepressants can affect the libido. I've talked to my pcp and gyn about this and all of them insist that this is normal. My gyn specifically told me that most women experience several fluctuations throughout their lives, but I still feel like something just isn't right. I'm only 26! I have no stds or any medical problems or hormone imbalances that would result in no sex drive. I've never been abused or anything. I have a great relationship with my family. I'm stressed out about normal things, but no more than anyone else. And as it turns out- I was suffering from anxiety, not so much depression. So I'm on another medication that supposedly has no sexual side effects. My gyn suggested a sex therapist. Anyone ever tried one? With success? I'm desperate for any suggestions.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one. I love my husband dearly but I get nothing out of sex. Where is this amazing feeling I'm supposed to be feeling? My husband and I are trying to conceive. Most of the time I find myself wondering "are you done yet?". I find myself thinking of other things simply waiting for it to be over. I can't lose myself in the moment. I don't turn my husband down when he initiates sex (I enjoy the closeness), but it frustrates him because I rarely initiate it because I don't have the want to have sex.
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I too am glad I am not the only one out there who feels this way. Because I thought that I was. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and I switched birth control once because it made me very emotional, crying a lot, now i have been on a different one and i am not so emotional any more, but just rarely ever feel like having sex. I also feel bad for my boyfriend because he enjoys it and I never want to. I don't know if I should try switching birth control again or if it's something else. He also thinks that it is his fault, but I promise him I don't believe it is. :'(
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You can try out some herb product to arouse your sex drive. Germany Sex Drops is highly recommended.
It helps to arouse female sex drive in 5 minutes!!
It helps to arouse female sex drive in 5 minutes!!
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Well this can be because of the pills tat you are taking. Sometimes like you said they can make you cry and sometimes they make you don't want sex. My suggestion for you is to try stop taking the pills and try using another contraception method. See if this can help you get your sex urge back.
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The boyfriend I am now with is the first guy I've had sex with. Sometimes I almost get to that amazing feeling and there are some factors you might want to consider that may be causing sex to be unpleasurable. Stress (whether in the relationship or external), Hormon levels, Mood...just to mention a few. What I have noticed with my boyfriend is that if he keeps sexual gestures and touches to the bedroom, I find sex to be rather unpleasurable...this is really a tip to your husbands or boyfriends. Sex can be enjoyable...it is the most amazing feeling to become one with the one you love.
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I've only really started to be sexually active the last few months. I find that sex is really uncomfortable and it hurts me. I also don't get any pleasure from it at all. I'm really upset about it, because u hear how good it's supposed to be. I'm also on the pill and antidepressants, but i don't know if it's the pills that aren't allowing me to have an orgasm, or if im still new to sex. Is it supposed to get any better? Please help!!!!!
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"when is this going to be over?"
"ugh hurry up"
"...my legs hurt"
"holy sh*t this is a workout"
going really fast to make them ejaculate, telling them to cum because it "turns you on", staring at the wall and noticing the spots on it, noticing the hairs on their penis...
above is a list of thoughts that generally appear in my head when having sex. sex is not really fun. im an 18 year old female and i get turned on easily and making out is fun, getting eaten out is also fun (to a certain degree), but sex... the majority of the time, i'm thinking "hurry".
i am so so so relieved after reading this forum.
who out there fakes it? because i know i do. every time i have sex. and i hate it. many of you described yourselves as sexually 'empty', i feel the same way. they are so satisfied... and although i am not the type to withold from sex, it is a horrible feeling to not be able to enjoy sex. and believe me, im certainly not bad at sex and i am by no means one of those gross unattractive chicks who doesnt know sh*t all about sex. i am the opposite if anything. every male i have had intercourse with says i am amazing in bed and pleasure them more than any female has.
the only thing i can think of that could restrain me from enjoying sex is the fact that premarital sex is banned in my religion and i was a strong believer in this until a few years ago. does any one think that that might be the reason? i don't feel any concious guilt while having intercourse so i feel like that isn't the problem.
i simply do not understand how girls can orgasm with a penis inside of them. how is this appealing? it does not hurt, but a foreign object inside of you... not a pleasurable experience in my eyes and i would really like to know how this is pleasurable.
so glad to hear that i'm not the only one.
"ugh hurry up"
"...my legs hurt"
"holy sh*t this is a workout"
going really fast to make them ejaculate, telling them to cum because it "turns you on", staring at the wall and noticing the spots on it, noticing the hairs on their penis...
above is a list of thoughts that generally appear in my head when having sex. sex is not really fun. im an 18 year old female and i get turned on easily and making out is fun, getting eaten out is also fun (to a certain degree), but sex... the majority of the time, i'm thinking "hurry".
i am so so so relieved after reading this forum.
who out there fakes it? because i know i do. every time i have sex. and i hate it. many of you described yourselves as sexually 'empty', i feel the same way. they are so satisfied... and although i am not the type to withold from sex, it is a horrible feeling to not be able to enjoy sex. and believe me, im certainly not bad at sex and i am by no means one of those gross unattractive chicks who doesnt know sh*t all about sex. i am the opposite if anything. every male i have had intercourse with says i am amazing in bed and pleasure them more than any female has.
the only thing i can think of that could restrain me from enjoying sex is the fact that premarital sex is banned in my religion and i was a strong believer in this until a few years ago. does any one think that that might be the reason? i don't feel any concious guilt while having intercourse so i feel like that isn't the problem.
i simply do not understand how girls can orgasm with a penis inside of them. how is this appealing? it does not hurt, but a foreign object inside of you... not a pleasurable experience in my eyes and i would really like to know how this is pleasurable.
so glad to hear that i'm not the only one.
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"when is this gonna end?"
"hurry up"
"...my legs hurt"
"wow workout"
going faster so that they ejaculate, telling them to cum because it "turns you on", noticing the spots on the wall and ceiling during intercourse, noticing disturbing details such as pubic hairs,
does anyone else think of these things during intercourse? this SUCKS. i am an 18 year old female, and i can't seem to enjoy sex. i guarentee you i am not in any way bad in bed, every male that i have slept with has told me i am amazing in bed and better at pleasing them than any other female. i am also not one of those unattractive, fat, boring women, if anything i am the opposite. which is why this is such an issue. i have had sex with several HOT men and everything upto sex is enjoyable... but the act of a penis inside me: not fun.
someone please help
the only thing i can think of that may possibly explain this is that i was grown up in a religious atmosphere and didnt believe in sex before marriage until a few years ago. but i dont feel any consious guilt for my actions during the actual act of intercourse, so i dont think that that is the problem.
i am so glad to hear that there are others like me.
oh and also, i fake it all the time because as i said, i am good in bed, and that would be horrible for my boy friend if i just layed there like a lump.
"hurry up"
"...my legs hurt"
"wow workout"
going faster so that they ejaculate, telling them to cum because it "turns you on", noticing the spots on the wall and ceiling during intercourse, noticing disturbing details such as pubic hairs,
does anyone else think of these things during intercourse? this SUCKS. i am an 18 year old female, and i can't seem to enjoy sex. i guarentee you i am not in any way bad in bed, every male that i have slept with has told me i am amazing in bed and better at pleasing them than any other female. i am also not one of those unattractive, fat, boring women, if anything i am the opposite. which is why this is such an issue. i have had sex with several HOT men and everything upto sex is enjoyable... but the act of a penis inside me: not fun.
someone please help
the only thing i can think of that may possibly explain this is that i was grown up in a religious atmosphere and didnt believe in sex before marriage until a few years ago. but i dont feel any consious guilt for my actions during the actual act of intercourse, so i dont think that that is the problem.
i am so glad to hear that there are others like me.
oh and also, i fake it all the time because as i said, i am good in bed, and that would be horrible for my boy friend if i just layed there like a lump.
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I lost my virginity at 20 after waiting for the man I felt would be best for me. Now after being with him for a while, each time feels like that first time. I tend to tense up and make it impossible for him to thrust. The ONLY position I'm comfortable in (aka, not hurting) is doggie style.
I'm lucky my boyfriend is very patient and understanding. I don't know what I'd do without him. Sometimes I feel that if I don't like sex, I must be a lesbian or something.
I'm lucky my boyfriend is very patient and understanding. I don't know what I'd do without him. Sometimes I feel that if I don't like sex, I must be a lesbian or something.
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