I don't enjoy sex?

I feel the same way. I don't get any joy from sex. I can bring myself to orgasm and its no big event. Sex is a million times better for a guy as they have so many nerves in their penis. Women don't have many. Its the emotional side that is great for women I think. Sex is played up as the best thing ever, but to many its just the same as having a really nice piece of chocolate cake, or even a boring old ham sandwich.

I have tried reminding myself that sex is good, it was created by God for pleasure, fun and intimacy (just as it says in God's Word), but even then I don't feel any better about it. I've tried reading the erotica there is in the Bible such as in Song of Songs. That just makes me feel uncomfortable.

Sometimes I feel like I would like to have sex, then with in a moment it's gone.

The best thing you can do is get intouch with your local family planning clinic and speak to someone there, as they deal with sex and its issues specifically.

I turned 26 recently but am not really happy about it. I have met this wonderful guy who enjoys sex but I can't seem to enjoy it with him. I only noticed my sex drive is low when I moved in with him. For 5 yrs I had an abusive boyfriend and yet I enjoyed sex with him most part of the relationship until everything went sour and I broke up with him. Then I met a lady (a tomboy actually), very caring and we hit it on, it was always fun and pleasurable. I would always come with her even just the thought of her heats me up. But then, I met this my recent guy cos am thinking am not a lesbian. Things are really bad- I mean worst- when it comes to lovemaking. I am losing my drive...What must I do? Please help me.

It astonishes me on how many people are here saying the exact same problem, but no one seems to have a solution. I also have the same issue. Sex is not enjoyable. It doesn't hurt, but it also simply feels like nothing. Im tired of faking it and for once Id love to have a real orgasm. Ive never been abused, nor am I highly religious. Im comfortable with my body and I am able to get turned on, including lubrication. And yet, sex is simply a waste of my time.

Can ANYONE help???? Im desperate to have a fully healthy relationship. Who would want to be with me, knowing that I wont ever enjoy the sex life? Its very discouraging. :'(

get drunk bit***s then its grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat

So I've been married to a wonderful woman for over 11 years. I am the second person she ever had sex with, she is my one and only. we have 2 beautiful children together and an amazing life...but she has never enjoyed sex. For years we thought it was the birth control pills, then she stopped. No help. I thought it was something I was doing and tried everything and still try everything (in bed, out of bed, romance, helping alleviate her workload around the house with the kids and chores, cook romantic dinners, wine and dining...etc). I have read book after book, research sexual techniques, bought toys, and tried talking about it with her (the most important thing ever = communication) and all have failed. As wonderful as our life is together, something is missing for me. Its that sexual closeness, that symbiotic connection and after 11 years of trying to fix me or her, I am about done. So while I will never know what is going on in her head, truly unless she shares it, I have made my decision to forgo sex and live within my own prison. God, I do love this woman, but it is tough to find the patience to control my frustration as it slips into my daily interaction with her (resentment). So there you have it ladies, the other side. Something is broken, its not for you to fix in most cases (sexual abuse is certainly a factor), its something in your wiring, its not a switch that is waiting to be turned on, I sympathize, I seek answers, I know your frustration, but damn...it isn't fair to feel this way either. A total mind-F!CK..."are you close" Then I think, "is it fair to her to put her through this torture for me?" Many days I spend wondering if things would be better if she had sex with someone else and its me. Maybe she doesn't love me enough to be truly intimate with me. Maybe I should go to the shrink before I go crazy. So good luck ladies and gentlemen, its all torture for everyone involved, I just wish I would have known what I signed up for.

I'm 19 and I also noticed that I get no pleasure from Sex nor masturbation, I can feel it, but no pleasure, When I was with my boyfriend I didn't tell him I more or less keep it to myself and I'm going to use the term faked it for his sake. I noticed I enjoy kissing though, and can get as most people would put it wet. but I get no pleasure from sex what so ever. I don't understand it though is there something wrong with me...

I feel a little bit better after finding this forum. I thought I was the only one with a problem like this and felt like a freak :-( I'm 17 years old and I have the same problem as you guys. I lost my virginity when I was 13 to a guy I spent almost 2 years with and oh my god was it AMAZING! I couldn't get enough of it, we've done it like 7 times a day and it still wasn't enough for me. All that ' best thing ever' stuff people say - well, it's 100% true. But then something went wrong, I guess. Right now, I'm with this great guy, we've been together for almost 3 years, we live together and we love each other a lot. But I just don't feel any pleasure or desire whatsoever. It used to hurt like hell, so I went to see my gyno, and he said there's nothing wrong with me. Now it doesn't really hurt anymore, but i don't enjoy it. It's always like I'm doing him a favour. He used to be understanding but now that we live together- he's becoming more and more frustrated. And it's not like we haven't tried to do something about it - all sorts of lubricants, sex in public, quickies (that used to be so fun when I was younger), even some some pills and ' love drops'... The only thing that sort of worked, but not really, was a lot of alcohol. 2 hours ago we finished fighting over sex and I really feel like I'm not meeting his needs. Plus, I haven't had decent, let alone amazing, sex in years! F it, I'm buying a vibrator and if that doesn't help, I'm visiting a sex therapist when I turn 18. Can't live like this anymore + I have a bunch of other problems... I want the pleasure back :-(

Honestly i think i have the same problem.
It doesnt hurt,but it doesnt feel good either.
I always think there's something wrong with me,and i am disappointed in myself becaus i can't get pleasure from sex,and i feel as if he's getting all of it and all i am here for is being used. to me its not fair that he gets all the pleasure and i just get..nothing,not even pain. sometimes it worries me,and i dont know how to fix it. I wish i could. any ideas?

Hey I'm an 18 year old girl and honestly the only reason I have sex is because I know it pleases my boyfriend. I'm scared my boyfriend will think it's his fault if I said I didn't enjoy sex. And it's not like it hurts I just don't really enjoy it either. I enjoy the act of it like being so close ot each other and basically becoming one. But really just don't enjoy it. But I would love too! Help! 8-|

There's several reasons why these girls aren't enjoying sex - but I think the main reason, and usually the most common reason, it that your partner/boyfriend/husband/whatever is not stimulating you correctly. It's not necessarily his fault, it may be that you aren't letting him know what you like/what turns you on. If you are open with each other, it's important that you let him know that you are not satisfied. However, you should be careful about how you go about this, as you don't want to bruise his ego/make him feel inadequate. I would think that the best way of going about it is to tell him you like what he's doing, but also suggest he tries *whatever turns you on*. Things to avoid are criticising his penis size; making him think he's no good in bed; suggesting he do what you liked a previous partner doing. Those kind of comments will just make him feel he's being rejected.

Obviously, in order to let him know what you like, you have to know yourself. I'd suggest you try masturbating (if you're open to the idea) privately in order to discover what kind of sensations/stimulation you enjoy. In order to enjoy sex with your partner, you need to know what you turns you on in the first place. Some men can be kind of dumb when it comes to sex with women as they are so used to being able to get off most of the time, if not always, when they have sex, and I think it's quite common for them to assume the same of women. However, most men will want to please their girlfriends/wives/etc as it is generally a turn on for them too, so you should try to subtlely guide him into doing what you like. If he isn't interested in pleasing you, then he's not worth the bother. Good sexual relationships should involve an equal amount of give and take from both partners.

Guest that says she's unhappy with her current boyfriend but enjoyed sex with a woman - I think you need to consider your sexuality a bit more, you may be more inclined to sex with women. I think also because you spent a long time with an abusive boyfriend, this may have subconsciously affected the way you view men, and possibly because of that you find the idea of sex with a woman maybe less threatening.

And whoever told Cookieh that the doctors "sliced your nerves down there" is talking c**p. What nerves do you mean exactly? And what qualified surgeon is just going to accidently sever nerves and neglect to tell her about it. If they'd caused nerve damage, she'd have more problems than a low sex drive. Having an ovary removed could possibly affect your sex drive because of a change in hormone production. You should ask your doctor about this, they may be able to provide you with treatment to boost hormone levels.

I'm going through exactly the same thing, female sexual dysfunction.

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Same here. It's nice to see other people have this problem. My friends all think I'm crazy.

I agree with one of the guys on here; despite felling almost nothing at all from penetration, oral is much more pleasurable.
For the record, I'm female.

I'm seeing a lot of "...if only you experienced orgasm, then you'd love it, too" kind of sentiments. I don't think that's true. I'm 27 years old, have been through one marriage and other relationships, and I've never enjoyed sex. I do it (and fake it) because that's what is required to keep my man happy, and I don't want to fight about it.

I'm capable of orgasm, just not from penetration, but I don't even *want* my man to "finish me off" after sex. It's not worth it to me, two seconds of "ooh that feels good" for the mess and effort involved.

Why are we supposed to want sex? I don't like swimming, either, and no one thinks there's anything wrong with that. For those of you who think we're crazy, just imagine some activity you don't enjoy (your partner insisting on nightly macrame sessions? "Oh honey...come on... again??") and imagine that every partner you're ever likely to have is going to expect you to want to do that activity regularly. No reprieve ever in sight... It's a rather depressing picture.

I'm just sick of having to feel so much guilt over either "deceiving" my man by faking it, or guilt over his unhappiness when I say honestly, I don't feel like it.

I'm not gay, I've never been abused, I don't have any religious hang-ups. I just don't want anybody touching my private bits (or worse, them feeling like they have a right to do so).

I too have "thought" I had this problem with not liking sex. Well, through much thought and reading about it I have come to the conclusion that women do not like sex simply because they don't get anything from it. Its not stimulating, and the ones that say they LOVE it are lying or have never had an orgasm and think they like it. Think about it, what if the tables turned and women got orgasms from being rammed and the guy gets nothing from that, the only way he can orgasm is if u play with the tip of his penis with your tongue. I bet u a million dollars they wouldn't enjoy it either. I'm 25 and have had the fortunate opportunity to have a few good partners that were able to show me what it's all about........and here's the kicker, they know sex isn't enjoyable for me and I don't get an orgasm from it, but they took care of me first, fired me up, consequently I'm lubed up from my orgasm, and low and behold I'm enjoying the penetration part of sex with this person. This is was an eye opener after being in a relationship with a guy since high school for 7 who had no clue what he's doing and I had no experience to even tell him that he's doing anything wrong. From now on ladies, I do not, I repeat, DO NOT have sex until I am satisfied first, no faking, if they can't do their job then I can't do mine. Sex is hell when ur not lubed up through an orgasm, it's dry and it hurts. You may get a little wet from being turned on but that's just not enough. So I say get to know ur body, experience an orgasm urself, this way u can guide the guy better, and never succumb to sex without getting the womens version of "sex" first because it's just not worth it for you. If the guy can't make you orgasm then that's his fault, he needs to learn. Ooohhhh and one last thing, please tell ur man that being fingered while he eats you out is not gonna make u orgasm faster, in fact it's distracting.......most men don't know this sadly, and that's mainly because they think penetration turns us on.

cezzz wrote:

SeattleKid08 wrote:

Don't get me wrong...I enjoy being with him, being close, giggling with each other over stupid things we do during sex but I don't get anything out of the actual act itself. Penetration doesn't hurt but it is not pleasurable either. I always hear sex is this amazing, pleasurable thing and yet it doesn't seem that way. Am I doing something wrong? Is it just the way my body is and will always be?

Maybe your libido, sex drive is low.