I don't enjoy sex?

i am 20 i lost my virginity when i was 17 i have had 6 partners and i find i dont enjoy sex but i enjoy oral sex, its really gets to me and makes me very emotional at times. i have a great partner who i love to bits wouldnt change him for the world. but i just feel like i am being lounged on all the time i dont enjoy any positions at all. i also get the thoughts are you done yet and thinking when is this going to be over. i pretend i like it and enjoy it for his sake and i dare not say anything because i dont want to hurt his feelings either, i am mentally and physically attracted to women and its really worrying. someone help me please.

I have recently become sexually active in the recent months. I have not had intercourse, but have definitely gone farther than I ever have and I'm 18. And to be honest, none of it has done anything for me. I dated two guys in the past month and both of them did nothing. I don't even enjoy making out, at all. I definitely do not have a desire problem, it does not take much to turn me on, but when it comes to the actual act itself, nothing. Making out is boring. I am hoping that when I get to a point in my life where I am completely happy with who I am and actually feel that my life is on track and then maybe meet a guy who I become friends with first, maybe it will work. I just hope it's not like this the rest of my life, I have a fear that I will still feel the same way even when it's "right".

The problem with most men is that they place way too much importance on sex. Here's a newsflash for you guys: Most women don't really like sex...especially women over 30. After the initial newness and excitement wears off, we DO fake it for awhile, but that gets really old.



So how about you guys start dealing with it, okay? Learn to satisfy your ridiculous sexual needs by masturbating, and leave us wives alone.



Lest you think I'm full of it...I'm happily married, and I do not have sex with my husband anymore. I told him the truth. It bores me, and it's a chore. I love him with every fiber of my being, and there is no other man I would ever want to be with. But I'm just dont with sex.



Well, he's still here. And he still loves me. And he does NOT cheat on me. He's a grown-up, he's realistic, and he understands, period.

Very nice forum, and today I got answers which would greatly help me. I think this information nobody can provide you. I am 32 old woman and ofcourse I have same problem. I am very romantic person and more agressive when it comes to sex than my husband. I like to do the forplay but when it comes to Sex, I lose total interest. Thankfully my husband is understanding and he values me far more than the act of sex. I do sex for his pleasure, but ofcourse I enjoy intimacy. But in my one year of marriage, I had been thinking if it is happening to us me only. Some how had been thinking probably he is not tring hard. But I think it is not his problem, it is mine. And I should be appreciative for him being with me. Now If I look back I did get chance in life to be with two other boys who were very attractive and I had similar problem.

I'm a 38yo male and still a virgin...at first this was by choice, but as time went by I just lost all desire for sex...even masturbation...I do get turned on but that's the extent of it..even the idea of sex makes me physically sick...

Yea, I'm a 25 year old guy and sex turned out to be a complete disappointment for me. I mean, I love being around someone that cares about you, and I want to make them happy. The actual act of sex though, does nothing for me. I think the most important thing is just finding someone that you truly love and are happy spending your time with. I mean, I get turned on and orgasm but to me it's not some incredible out of this world experience, everyone is different, and I think the media and society make you feel like if you don't enjoy something that is portrayed as being cool than there's something wrong with you, but there's not. Like I have hobbies and interests that others may not enjoy, and I don't think there is anything wrong with them. So don't feel like there is something wrong if you don't find as much enjoyment in something as someone else, because that's part of your person you are.

I always felt different, my friends were always talking about how much they enjoy sex and how every movie/show is always portraying it as some sort of wonderful feeling. The truth is I don't like having sex, it feels painful, I feel like I have to constantly pee, I always am thinking to myself, when is this going to be done. I have been with my boyfriend now for 31/2 years and he doesn't enjoy sex either. I want to o something, anything to change this but cannot seem to find anything or know of anything. It;s hard and frustrating and upsetting all at the same time. I don't feel normal.
I'm glad though there are other people out there that feel the same way as i do, I would like to know however, how do people just deal with this. Do they just not care? i want to feel what it;s like to have an orgasm, I want to know what it feels like to enjoy being with your man. i saw something on nip/tuck once where they enlarge something to make an orgasm easier to reach. Anyone know what this is or if it actually works?

well I am a virgin but i have tried many toys and for some reason I get nothing out of it. I have the same problem actually but the thing is i have never had sex. I do not get any pleasure from fingering myself or using any toys... The only time I can orgasm is When I play with myself or get eaten (orally)
can some one help me?


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I, like lots of others here, have that problem. I am eighteen and have only been with one boy, who I'm still with. I enjoy being with him, I find him amazingly attractive, I enjoy "making out" and foreplay and all of that, but when we have sex, I may or may not get some actual pleasure from it, but nothing "explosive". I find sex to be something I try to avoid, save for times I really want to be close to him or I want him to enjoy it. I have not orgasamed after over a year of trying, and I don't even think I've come close. It's so frustrating, but I'm glad there's other people with the same issue.

I just realised this same problem. In fact, I feel like crying when I do it and cringe when I think about it. Btw, I'm 27 and married and have been with the same guy for 7 years and i love him to bits but I just realised I HATE sex! I think it's degrading that as women, we're walking, breathing people with a hole to f**k! I hate the whole theory behind sex and am beginning to doubt my sexuality!

Alright.
So now we know we're not alone, sweet, i'm NOT a robot.
but does anyone have ANY freaking idea what it is?!
Or what the causes are?!
....or what to do?

I am so happy right now that I´m not the only one...
I absolutely love my boyfriend and we try so much, i just don´t enjoy it at all!!! The weird thing is, i do enjoy oral sex, masturbating, roleplays and everything around that, i´m just bored and even annoyed by the act itself. I don´t have problems getting an orgasm while doing "stuff", but as soon as he is really IN me, i stop enjoying it immediately. I had the same problem with my other two Boyfriends before. I just hate it, because my BF loves sex and i want him to be happy, but it get´s harder and harder for me to get exited about sex. And another important thing is, no matter how much lubricant we use, it always hurts. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. I know a part of that problem is that I´m very tight, but the bigger part is probably that i´m so bored that i just get dry...
My gyencologyst just tells me to use more lubricant. Well thank you, what a great help...
So I´m happy I´m not alone, but does anyone here know what i can do to enjoy sex???

It's nice to know that others feel the same way. I'm a 29 year old female, and have been with my guy for seven years. He's great - sweet, smart, good-looking- but I just feel like sex is a chore.

I think there's a lot of emotional baggage behind this. Examining how I first started having sex, a lot of it was tied into ego, the flirting and touching leading up to the sex, like "yeah, this guy wants me so bad;" the thrill of uncertainty, and using sex to make myself feel better and wanted. So maybe there are some underlying depression/self-image issues here, if I use sex/flirting as an ego booster instead of a simply pleasurable act?

So, since my husband and I have been together so long, there's no ego involved. There's no uncertainty of "am I going to score with him tonight?" so there's no thrill. Sex still can be enjoyable, but never to the extent that I orgasm, and I usually end up feeling bored. Sometimes I imagine it's our first time, and then I feel a vicarious thrill, but otherwise the only incentive I have is to keep my husband happy.

Sex used to be painful, but then we started using lube which helped instantly. My husband didn't want to use lube for a long time, since he took it personally that he wasn't "good enough" to make me naturally wet, and he just got depressed when I brought it up. So, trying to be a good wife, I just went along with it for a while, but finally stood my ground and explained to him that it was necessary. He finally "got it" and apologized for not being more sensitive to my body's needs, which was nice.

Still, the larger problem that sex is a chore is that it is starting to stress me out, and making it feel like an obligation instead of a joy. I've heard "fake it til you make it" but what if the faking is causing emotional stress? I feel like my husband would be supportive of me if I shared this with him; perhaps we should see some sort of counselor.

Hey,

I noticed that all the posts here are from women. I'm a guy, aged 22. I myself cannot seem to enjoy sex. I hope that I am not being immodest when I say that I am not ugly by any means. I have a South American mother, and an Irish father and have very broad shoulders, a toned physique and dark curly hair. I also hold one of the top law degrees in the UK, having graduated last year and am now training as a City lawyer in London. However, whenever I am approached by girls (I have never in my life dared to approach a girl) I always feel extremely out of place. With the few girls that I have let "through" to becoming girlfriends I really dread having sex. The only time that I enjoyed sex was when I was almost 20 (when I lost my virginity) and with the only girl I have loved. All girlfriends after her have not meant anything. I know it sounds awful, and I hope that those reading this post will not consider me to be a male pig.

Whenever I am with a girl I really like to kiss and hold her. I like to go the cinema with her, buy her little presents and take her out. However, when we get back to one of our flats I know the inevitable is coming. The girl will invariably make an effort to come closer, and I will make an equal effort, if not more, to excuse my exit and flee to my flat or, if we are in my flat, to make up a story about having to be at work early tomorrow morning.

I know that I am not the "typical man" in this respect, and for that I feel ashamed. However, I have had many bad experiences in my life. My mother used to have an awful boyfriend who made our (my mother and mine) lives a living hell until I was 17. He would attack us physically all the time, even breaking bones in the process. I lived in constant fear of this animal, dreading each day to come home from school. I believe that the way he put me down in the most disgraceful ways for most of my young life very probably has much to do with my present predicament - I absolutely cannot allow anybody else, irrespective of their gender or how close I am to them, to, for want of a better word, "interfere" with me again. I also went to a boys' school, and did not really see much of girls until I was 18. Back then I really, really wanted somebody to care about me, pathetic though this may sound. However, when I needed somebody most all those years I did not have anybody. I won't go into the distasteful details of what used to happen, or what I used to do to myself but I hope that those who read this will at least understand my direction as a young man.

OK, I have been more honest in these few lines than I have ever been with any girl. I thought it perhaps prudent to let the women writing here know that they are not alone.

I am 31 and like the rest of you, I don't enjoy sex with my partner anymore. I want to. But it hurts! The pressure his penis causes inside is to scream for, and not in a good way.

I really wish there was a cure for this. My partner has an over active sex drive and my 'problem' is the root of many relationship issues. I have even considered that he should sleep with other people and leave me alone, but I am sure that will just cause more problems. I have seen doctors about it and nothing. it is so futile!!! and frustrating.


I really want and need HELP.