Morning guest,
You are 19 and obviously you still live at home....parent's home, parent's rules, within reason. Maybe you should get yourself a part time job just to get out of the house and make some cash. Put the money away and save toward getting your own place someday. Are you going to be attending a University this year?
You have to respect your parent's rules or.....maybe move in with a roomate if it's to tough for you. Some parent's are old fashioned and a bit over bearing because they are protective of their children, sometimes a little to much. You want to drink and party? That won't fix things and will probably make your home life worse. 21 is the legal age to drink anyway, tho i don't know where you live and your drinking laws may be different. I know your friends are probably out there partying it up and i know that's what 19 year olds do, (a lot of them) but you still have to go home when it's over. Do you feel like listening to mom/dad then? People your age think that they can get thru life's problem's by themselves, it's hard, trust me. We all want to grow up, but it's really not to bad when we can fall back on our parent's.
As far as your dad hitting you....that is not right and he could be in trouble if you pushed the issue. A man, a father, a boyfriend, a friend etc....has no right to lay hands on another human being, even if it is his son or daughter, no difference. Your dad calling you names doesn't help either. As far as your computer goes. He really has no right to restrict your usage, unless you are going to places on the internet that could bring you some trouble. He feels that he pays the electric bills that allow your computer to run...once again, his home, his rules!
Now...you said you smoked weed and cigarettes because of your parents! Come on now....really? No you didn't do it because of them. You did it because everyone else was doing it and you were probably in a pissed off mood at the time. You threw caution to the wind and smoked, on your own. If you start up again, it's no one's fault. If you are that depressed over your family situation, you need to talk to someone. Weed does not fix things at all. The anger and the sadness may go away for a minute, but when you come off your high, the problems are still there, and so are your parents! Don't use your homelife as an excuse to do drugs, fix it yourself.
You are almost 20 years old, will you be going to college in the fall? Can you live on campus? OR....are you finished with high school and you won't be going to college? If that is the answer, then you need to get a job.
Sadly, you still live at home. You have to abide by the rules of the house. If it's to much, you are free, under the law, to move out of the your parent's home. The law can not drag you back home. Move in with a girlfriend.
Your father hitting you has got me concerned. You do not have to take that at all. That would be enough to make me leave the home. You need to speak with your mom/dad and tell them exactly what you have posted here. Maybe they will understand, but i doubt it. In the meantime, work towards setting a goal, a goal to move on. Save money and get your own little place, then you are free to do what you want, when you want and with whom ever you want to do it with. In the meantime, you have to respect what they say whether you like it or not. Bite your lip and know it's not forever.