My boyfriend is bipolar and breaks up with me every 3 months

Im happy for your Jimbob! well done for staying strong

lucy333 wrote:

stillinlost wrote:

I can relate to all of this.  My boyfriend broke up with me every two months, saying how in love he is and then he isn't in love with me anymore.  one minute he is the most amazing person i know the next hes distant.  I wish I had someone to talk to that knows what im going trhough.  I have no one else who would understand.

Stillinlost, and all the above, I can totally relate to all your stories. I am currently going through the same, my boyfriend (now ex) has suffered from depression for years as much as I want to be there for him and support him I am slowly losing myself in the process. Alot of hurtful things have been said that I cant forget. The last time I had any contact with him was 6 weeks ago when out of the blue over night he changed and wanted out...saying i 'deserve better and he cant be there for me right now'

I was with him for 3 years, we used to have breaks every 3 months,,,,I dont know why I put up with this but I love this person so much, he is the most kind generous person when he is not depressed.

OMG... I'm going thru the same thing with my boyfriend, we've been together for 2 years, he's going thru depression as well, his mom killed herself, and he hasn't gotten over it. We have broken up 6 times....... Sometimes for 3 weeks, or the longest is 3 months....I try my best to be there for him, but he pushes me away whenever he remembers his mom....at 1st i thought he was bi-polar, but by the 4th break up he opened up a little more to me.....I've just learned to giv him his space.....U can't solve depression with a hug or a kiss all the time.

I had a girlfriend like that years ago and she did the same thing. It is her illness and not your fault that she keeps dumping you. The sad news is that she will most likely always be like that.

I can totally relate. My boyfriend and I got together 11 months ago when he was finishing his degree. He has broken up with me over 100 times in the last 6 months. I have tried everything and finally sat down with him and told him that if he didn't go to a doctor that I was going to leave for good. He went to see his doctor and was put on medication, but I can't help but feel like the constant break ups out of anger have ruined our relationship. I am extremely insecure now and am not happy, but I'm afraid that if I leave him he'll go off his meds or hurt himself. I care too much about him to want any harm done to him, especially with how fragile he is right now. Does anyone else have this problem?

Well I love my boyfriend deeply and we have been together for 10 years.  I am not sure I could handle breaking up 100 times in 6months, but sometimes it feels like the equivalent. He is on/off his meds over the course of time.  This concerns me, he is taking lithium with no counselling or blood work ever.  I truly love him, but myself too and have had years of heart ache. Before  I am too old to find another mate, I am considering making the break.  It is veryvery sad.

i can definitely relate to all this. my boyfriend and i recently broke up for the third time in our year and a half relationship. the first time lasted 4 days and it was two weeks after we got together. he uses the excuse "i need space" all the time. the second time was unfortunately after my mom died. we were together about 8 months and then after he turned 21 it all went down hill. he started texting another girl a lot and hanging out with her and started ignoring me and drinking all the time. then eventually he told me he needed space and he wanted a break from our relationship. we still lived together because he had no where else to go at the time which i believe helped somewhat. i believed he was going to start seeing this new girl he was texting from work because he started hanging out with her more and he admitted to me he liked her somewhat. after awhile i guess he got tired of her and realized what a not so great person she was and stopped talking to her. we never really officially got back together after that but he did emotionally come back to me after a little while and after a few months its like nothing had happened with the exception that i couldnt figure out why he wouldnt just accept me as his girlfriend. he thinks hes has committment issues but its much more. he goes from telling me he loves me and im his soul mate and he wants to spend his life with me to shutting me out and acting like he doesnt care. anyway things were fine for awhile even though i couldnt get him to full commit to me again and then a few weeks ago he broke things off (technically) for the third time. he came home from a new years eve party new years day and said i dont love you anymore i cant bring myself to be anymore than friends with you i think we need some time apart. then he packed his stuff and left and moved two hours away with people he met over the internet. he does really stupid things and then regrets them later but doesnt know why he does them. last time he did try to fix things i just wonder if he will try to fix things now. its only been about 3 weeks and theres already another girl but he says he still loves me. i tell him he needs help but he wont go. he told me he is bi polar and i believe he is but i dont know if he was ever clinically diagnosed (he said he was but i dont know) and i really feel this is his problem but he wont face it. i cant convince him to come back or get help. he tells me he wants to come back and he loves me so i ask him why he doesnt and he just says "its complicated". i know this new girl wont last just like it didnt last time but its incredibly emotionally draining and i just dont know what to do to get him help. i cannot keep going through these vicious cycles of breakups. does anyone have any suggestions on how i could negotiate with him to get him to see therapy? we still talk and whatnot but he says he just needs a friend right now (same BS he said last time) so im kind of unsure what to do. i love him dearly and i dont want to give up but he makes this so much harder than it has to be.

Peeps, I'm so happy to have ready this, I've been dating this guy for 6 months and we've been friends for 2 year before that. We have the best moments together untill he decides that we are not dating and I should leave him alone because he met someone. The one evening we were at a friends birthday, we were loving eac other and soooooo happy, he whispered sweet nothings in my ear but when we got hom he didnt want to touch me or do anything to me. he told me he wants to go home. he actually shouted at me and said "LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT TO GO HOME NOW" He did the same thing again last week. we've been braking up all the time.

My boyfriend of two and half years dumps me everyday, its like being on the edge 24/7 but i can see the real him inside that makes me stay. He can treat me the worst iv ever been treated but it last no longer than half hour then i start to see his eye build up with tears trying to control himself, he then breaks to his knees and the real him comes out. His two side personality is completely opposite, he can be perfectly lovely then a split second the horrible side jumps out. I take the abuse but also stand back and watch him fight his nastiness away.

I'm right there with you guys. I've been in a relationship with a man for 1.5 years, and I have no doubt that he's bipolar. He of course is in denial. When he cycles it is a nightmare, and it's every three months. He breaks my heart every three months. I am the best thing in his life and he values me more than any woman on the planet (his words) yet the relationship had been exhausting and terrible for me emotionally. When he's good, he's wonderful and makes me so happy. But there are two of him. Sweet and loving him, and distant, depressed, angry him. When he hits a depression it's sudden and he wrecks everything around him. He's told me I've saved his life many times and I have. After these last three months of him being amazing, he did it again and suddenly ended it (via text) and just devastated me. It is SO hard to deal with - going from such happiness to a sudden change in his entire personality with no warning and BAM! Unfortunately I fell in love with him a long time ago, and have bent over backwards trying to help him - but no more. Never again. He will always be this way and this is no way to live. Even though people with bipolar can't help it, my compassion and love for him have caused me to lose myself and I have been through literal agony in this relationship. I will never do it again. I was the only person who was there for him and that kept me there for him. But this time, I realized I just can't take anymore. It's such a sad thing. He'd be such an amazing man if he was healthy. He does have the sweetest heart. But his mind and body chemistry are very sick and very unbalanced. If he'd seek adequate help, he might have the opportunity to get better. But he refuses to even entertain the possibility that he is bipolar - and he has every symptom. I fear for his future, and I did everything I can to help him, but at this point it's time to save myself from him and heal my battered heart.

Whaatt? bi-polar? is it possible that my ex bf was bi-polar? that's insane why all this time I didn't even think about it I just thought he was a f***ing id**t.  I was with my ex for 5 1/2 years he also broke up with me every 3 months. I am going to do some research about it, I am so glad I found this post.

Im nor surw if my fiance is bipolar r not....but frm wat all ive read he very well can b + he said 1 Nite he was....his moos can change real quick like Sunday he says he loved me bur like a friend only...I kno he loves me mre tht...he wudnt get my meds for my heart (ive got chf) pay my phone r if I need nethang he will get it for m...he will even get me stuff without sayn I need it....but when his moods change I get very stressed n wireless hvn chf I dnt need tht period....when his moos is normal he's very sweet kind n etc....PLEASE wat do I do....

Possible but not certain.Get him to a psychiatrist.You've only outlined one symptom of the illness.There arew God knows how many mental illnesses out there that your bf could have.

I just got dumped myself by my bipolar partner. He blames me for his depression and just wants to be alone. We've been together for a little over 2mths. He said I was the love of his life and he wanted to move in. However since the break up he said he never fully trusted I wouldn't leave him if he got sick and that I deserve better and he felt he could never make me happy. He also said his confidence and self esteem were low. He's very afraid of his downward spiral caused by me being hard on him! He feels he's been good for awhile and I've triggered this. He blames me. He says he's happier without me in his life. I asked if he would see his psychologist and if we could go for counselling but he was sure he could fix it on his own. I hope this isn't the end. Why? I was just thinking with outside help, better coping skills and a new approach we could navigate it and be healthy.

Hi my boyfriend has been doing this for nearly four years now every two months. He isn't diagnosed and says there is nothing wrong. He has dumped me when I was pregnant and 3 days after a major op. I'm not trying again this time. He starts an argument, ignores me for a few days then then starts drinking. Comes back and says he loves me. Then says he doesn't want me and he is no good. Seen it too many times....cruel though I may sound. He's put me through he'll so I'm leaving him to it. Xx

I never read this type of articles before, it helps me to understand a little better May boyfriend and I are together for over two years and has breaking up with me for about 5 times saying I need a break am stress am not ready and got in a real bad mood doesn't even answer my texts, every time we got back together after 1 or two months he is totally a different person happy and nice again
I don't know what to do anymore always leaving in a limbo :(