Ok so I have a problem. I'm 19 years old and in great physical condition and everything but whenever I have sex with my girlfriend or literally do anything sexually I don't feel it. Not even when we have sex and I have to fake cumming and everything. I don't whether the problem is physical or psychological. The only thing I can think of is maybe i masturbate too much and am accustomed only to that feeling(1, maybe two times a day until recently). Can someone please help?!?!
Your biggest sex organ is your brain1 SO if you have any hangups, stress, religious/nationality beliefs, this can put an end to ANYTHING! Also there is past trauma - like being caught masturbating and being told you are bad etc.! There is also that seeming belief to be ON at all times and that ALL guys just do it naturally without thinking! This isn't the case - ALL men and women worry if they are doing it right!
1. Can you get an erection and ejaculate while masturbating?
2. Which religion were you brought up in?
3. Did you ever have trauma regarding self sexual exploration?
4. Are you REALY attracted to your girlfriend?
5. Are you VERY worried about getting a girl pregnant?
6. Do you have a lot of stress in your life, or poor diet, lack of sleep, narcotics etc.
1. Can you get an erection and ejaculate while masturbating?
2. Which religion were you brought up in?
3. Did you ever have trauma regarding self sexual exploration?
4. Are you REALY attracted to your girlfriend?
5. Are you VERY worried about getting a girl pregnant?
6. Do you have a lot of stress in your life, or poor diet, lack of sleep, narcotics etc.
1. No problem masturbating
2. Im not really religious at all. moms half is jewish, dads half is catholic so I don't know if that means anything haha.
3. I guess the only thing i can think of for that is like i feel like my penis may be to small even though thats normal
4. Im obviously don't want my gf to get pregnant but i don't think we will have a problem
5. I believe im attracted to my gf.
6. I have a good diet, but sometimes do have trouble sleeping, and im in college so i have that sort of stress. and i guess i can also say that i like making my gf happy so i don't want to do something bad or something like sexually.
2. Im not really religious at all. moms half is jewish, dads half is catholic so I don't know if that means anything haha.
3. I guess the only thing i can think of for that is like i feel like my penis may be to small even though thats normal
4. Im obviously don't want my gf to get pregnant but i don't think we will have a problem
5. I believe im attracted to my gf.
6. I have a good diet, but sometimes do have trouble sleeping, and im in college so i have that sort of stress. and i guess i can also say that i like making my gf happy so i don't want to do something bad or something like sexually.
I think you have hit it with the answers of #3 and #6! I think that you are worried about coming off as a "perve"! The key to a good sex life is communication! Ask her whats she wants and visa versa! I can guarantee you that you need those boundries, to keep you in check! Say you wanted to try anal intercourse and she was dsgusted,! That would be devestating to your relationship! and would destroy your "manhood" so TALK and LISTEN! I guarantee you that whatever you are feeling she is too! It is the most intimate thing 2 people can do, but yet the least talked about! so how can you achieve deep respect and tenderness, if you don't know what boundries to follow? What do you think about my statement?
It not necessarily sexual boundaries. Im open with that. I just don't like to do something badly like in generally. Life if i don't perform well or something. Is it something mental or could it be too much masturbating? Your comments are very helpful by the way so thank you
My 17 year old asked me the same question! Due to ALL the images both girls and boys are bombarded with I think teenagers and young adults have SO much pressure on them to "perform" correctly, look "right" And I will tell you what I have told countless others, IF sex was like how they showed on tv, videos, movies, there would be NO ONE working or going to school!!! 8-| ;-) XD Really think about it, if everyone was the perfect lover we would have mass unemployment and our population would triple! So you are no different to any other young man or woman! Sex is the most intimate moment and you both are so vunerable - and neither want to look stupid or do the wrong thing! And this can way on your mind SO much that it actually stops you from doing what comes naturally! It's like if you are trying to sleep and you keep thinking about your job, you can't go to sleep right? So this is the same, you want to be good at having sex, but if you keep thinking about it = the brain being the biggest sex organ - then you wont be able to perform, because you are not concentrating on the job at hand! So communication is key, ask her if you are doing it right, let her tell you too and then you will have more of a committed and open relationship! Becasue if you can't talk about sex, then it's not that intimate right?
Also ALWAYS use a condom!!!!!! NEVER go unprotected OK?
Also ALWAYS use a condom!!!!!! NEVER go unprotected OK?
We are already open and stuff so that is not a problem. But I get what your saying. Thanks so much for your help. I hope it doesnt take me too long to get over this but hopefully i will soon. Thanks a bunch!