My husband likes porn for masturbating that I knew it after few years of our relationship. I tried to convince him not use porn that much of because you have a sex life and you can have sex with a real person now. He knew I will get upset, so he hides it from me. He will use it when I’m not around, but if I know he used it again, it always caused an argument. He claims himself he has a high sex drive and he needs sex every day. Sometimes, he wills still watching porn for masturbation even though after we had sex. Sometimes he couldn’t ejaculate during intercourse because he masturbated too much. He liked me to please (blow job) him until he has ejaculated.
Here are my questions, does he masturbate too much, if couldn’t ejaculate during intercourse?
Blow job just for stimulation during intercourse, right? Why he just want blow job but not intercourse?
He has ton of porn stored in his hard drive. He told me porn is part of his life, and he is not going to give it up because I don’t like it. My problems with him are, if he needs sex that much, he should just have sex with a real person, me. Why still need watch porn that much? I think he is used to it, and addicted to it.
Porn always caused an argument to us. He doesn’t like me to have a strong reaction to it. Because he says I already knew he has porn and is no point to get upset and angry at him. He says I’m controlling, and felts abused because now he had to hide it from me to use it. The argument got serious every time. We ended up not talking to each other for a while, or physically flight. He says I’m the one ruining our life, and he says I have anger issue.
After six years relationship and three years ago we got married, now have two kids, one is two years old and one is three. The pregnancy caused me have a low sex drive, and also I feel exhausted after busy with the kids during the day, I don’t’ feel have sex much but want to sleep; and sometimes I will prefer to have my personal time when I have a little bit time when the kids asleep at night, so I’ve to giving up my quality time with him during the bed time. My life had a big changed after the kids, and in my situation I can’t satisfied he needs. I got stress from the kids, argument time to time with him. Now I’m in antidepressant drug. He’s blaming me I’m ruining his life and the kids because I have anger issue, and I’m the old changed, but he didn’t. His parents blamed me because I make a big deal of it. Now it seems I’m the person ruining everyone’s life. I understood he needs masturbation more to please him. He still watches porn when I’m not around. I’m fine with it, but I don’t’ want to know and see it. What I’m asking is, make an adjustment for us, and you’re single anymore.
Recently, he likes to masturbate while I’m in the shower. One night, after I finished shower, I looked out to the bedroom, and I caught him in the middle of masturbating. The first thing he says to me, “I’m not done”, and after he had finished, and walks in to the bathroom and says, “Now I’m done!” I was very angry what he says to me, because he wasn’t even considering my feeling. He already knew I will get upset about it, but he just reacts nothing happened and went to sleep.
We had an argument about it of course. I told him that he was hurting my feeling and inconsiderate and disrespectful. I said, “why can you just say something like, I know you don’t’ like it. Sorry you saw it”, something like that. At least, it shown you do care about my feeling and show some respect. But, he says he didn’t think he needs to sorry for hurting my feeling. Because this is not new to me, I shouldn’t react to it and got angry. It’s my problem. I saw it because my curiosity, and I’m the one should apologize because I was disturbed him while he was in the middle of masturbating, and he blamed me because I’m the one do not like porn and now we can’t get alone, so I have to find the way to fix it, and find solution how he can still masturbate with his porn and not upsetting me. He’s just act like a jerk! What do you think about it?
I'm sorry that I posted my discussion in the men’s zone, because I want to get opinions from men. Perhaps, other men can see his point of view that I don’t see.
now with your husband and him watching porn. honesty the way i see it is.. its better for you if you're to tired or you just don't enjoy sex because of your depression right now. its one less thing that you have to worry about. i just think you shouldn't make a big deal about him watching porn. i know i would rather my boyfriend watching porn then with him sleeping with someone else besides me.
plus you shouldn't be jealous of the females hes watching. because i had a friend this year who would always fight with her husband for watching porn. the fighting got so bad that she decided to go stay at her fathers lake high for a few weeks. well those weeks turned into months with them not talking. but with in those weeks of them not talking because she wanted to b*tch over something so dumb. she lost the love her life in a car accident. an about a month ago she started blaming herself on how she should have just let him watch it because he wasn't actually cheating on her...but you don't wanna end up like her. with guilt. it will only make the depression worse. trust me. ive been a depressant for over 10 years.
and i know where you're coming from with the whole "i don't want to catch him watching porn" and yeah i feel you're right base on that part. he should respect the fact that you do not want to see any porn ever. you shouldn't have to walk on egg shells wondering if you're going to walk in a room and see the movie playing.
other than that. i would suggest that you at least make time to give him HEAD or at least have sex with him. spice things up a bit. surprise him with the sex once a week. let him know your still around and not just a mother to his kids but also a WIFE. even if you have to record yourself playing with your p***y on your phone and send it to him randomly. do it. and just think "well he likes watching porn. so why not send him a mini porno of myself." an he will get off to it and maybe pay more attention to you. (BUT NEVER PUT YOUR FACE IN THAT RECORDING IF YOU DO SEND IT TO HIM. only to protect your family.) or even offer to make a "home made" porno with him. he might like it and only watch that instead of the hours wasted space on his hard drive.....
Okay, from what I gathered so far, your husband sounds like he is addicted to porn. You may need to get him help.
I know how it feels, my wife masturbates almost constantly. She will have a vibrating egg inside even at the store. She loves our new Shark vacuum cleaner to suck on her Labia and her Clit because she totally loses control of herself. She is really amazing to catch her unexpectedly because she will get a giant rush and squirt like she had a massive orgasm. She gets very turned on by jilling in her car with people around. If you don't go with the flow with your husband and join in you just might lose him. So try out some porn there is all kinds and you may break lose like my wife does.