I'm 42 and for the last 15 years I've had horrible thoughts. it started with having hallucinations of fire and also of peoples faces lifting off( from bottom to top) only to see what looked like a burnt face underneath. it moved onto feelings of being torn apart or disassembled and put back together again,( like I was being rebuilt). I had two little white alien looking characters( like The Scream by Edvard Munch) watching me for a week or two. all of that went away and now 15 years later I'm left with thoughts like " whats it, whats that, whats that for, whats in that, whats this, whats this for etc., it drives me f*****g nuts!!! all day long especially when I'm at work, I cant stop it, I think of hurting people,shooting them with a shotgun, burning down the world if I'm pushed, beating people and some more. I'm not a violent person and I don't want to do any of these things, its almost as if I'm fantasizing about the opposite of what I'm really like, the more I think of hurting someone the nicer I am. I'm plagued with these thoughts and I hate them but I love myself and others. If I go to see a doctor will the doctor put me in a hospital? I don't wanna go to a hospital, that scares me away from going to see one.I don't mind medication but I don't know if there is any for me plus in order to get the medication I have to explain all of these horrible things to someone, guess I'm scared of what they will say or do or not do.I don't know what to do, does anyone have and advice?
Hey I just read your post! Im not sure if you will get this but I would love to talk to you. This illness is so crippling.
I am very scared. I just wanted to write about some of my feelings. I have suffered from the worst case of add, ocd, and anxiety, and depression. I feel so helpless and am an overemotional person. I am getting help but it's hard to see hope when no medicine seems to help. I can never get anything done bc I have zero attention span and my thoughts have become so obsessive I can't get anything done or feel OK. Not a minute goes by without my thoughts making me repeat the same thing. I have horrible violent thoughts towards people. I know they are not rational but I feel like I can't accept life or the past or my boyfriend's. I am embarrassed that I feel this way and cry all day long. I want badly to change. To be the best I can be. The thought of my boyfriend with another woman makes me so sick I have violent thoughts about them. I should be able to have accepted his past which wasn't much but I can't seem to. I dwell on it the entire day and feelso angry all day long. I am possessive and feel ill never be OK. Even though I don't want to be a male I would do anything to have been born one. I hate my emotions, my inability to get anything done and obsessions. I have tried to pray about it. I fear hell and losing those I love. I stare at myself and everything round me all day long. Why can't I focus. I wish I had been with no one else as well as my boyfriend. I wish I could know we would be able to be intimate in heaven. I feel I ruined everything in my life. I am so afraid. I feel no one goes through these thoughts. I know I am very odd and always have been.
Hi there I am so so sorry that you have to deal with all of this..... it is unimaginably hard and I know there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. The hard thing about treating mental illnesses is that there is no one medication that works for everyone it is very much a trial and error process and for a person with several illnesses like yourself it is more like finding the combination to a lock. You have to get all the medications correct to work the best. It is definatly hard and time consuming often sending people on a roller coaster of emotions. Are you seeing someone for counseling as well as psychiatry for medication?
No, medication isn't the answer. Doctors and drug companies think everyone should be on medication because it fattens their pockets, regardless of the damage these unnatural chemicals do.
Everybody has these fleeting thoughts occasionally. Learn to live with them and don't make them out to be a big deal. They're just thoughts. You didn't ask to have them and they don't define you. If you really were a bad person, you wouldn't be worried by these thoughts. You'd think they were normal.
Everybody has these fleeting thoughts occasionally. Learn to live with them and don't make them out to be a big deal. They're just thoughts. You didn't ask to have them and they don't define you. If you really were a bad person, you wouldn't be worried by these thoughts. You'd think they were normal.
Things are defiantly not normal and it is not normal to have these thoughts all the time to the point it isn't affecting your everyday life.....
i dont think i have ocd but i do very frequently actually have thoughts of harming those around me. for example: when in a car with someone i will have the urge/thought to grab the wheel and cause a crash. other times i will be with my mom or friend and just get this thought or thoughts of ways to kill or hurt them and these thoughts are very clear and sometimes i feel like im about to do it before i catch myself thinking it
Hey there with regards to these killings do you think you would feel bad about killing these people if you did? Have you ever seen a psychiatrist or counseler about this?
no im thinking about it but my family is helping me get through it. i know i can talk about with them now and thats good
Ok. Thats good. And remember if you get in a situation. And you feel that you can not help or stop yourself from Harming or killing someone call the police/ 911.... no one ever got in trouble for WANTING to hurt someone.
Hello I have a problem I have thought of hurting people. But only if Iam angry or truly hate them. It happens in two different ways 1 it starts in my arm, it gets so tense i feel I need to hurt them, because I want to stop and this is when I am mad for the most part this one doesn't last as long. 2 it starts with my heat, starts beating really fast and loud I can hear it getting loud it feels like I might pop. Instead of the need to hurt them it's a want. I want to hurt them really bad. These thoughts have been getting worse with this past year. I have never let these urges get the better of me. But things are getting more complex in my life.
Hi im 14 andi can not really help you but i have a question. I like to habe the thoughts of brutality torturing then murdering people i know, do you also like the feeling? I like it at first but then feel disgust.
Hey guest how long have you had these thoughts for ? Do you think about doing them to specific people ?
Thats also what happens to me i get temptation to do it and i like the thought of doin it
What types of thoughts do you have ? Have you ever tried to hurt yourself or others?