My husband and I have been married for almost three months now, and all we do is hug and kiss and cuddle. I admit it is very nice. but I feel like we're missing out on sex real bad. Initially in the marriage he had gotten turned on, but we were not able to have sex. I'm a virgin who's obviously got a tough hymen or something. It's like he tries to push in and it somehow slides out, no matter how hard he is! He says, 'It's like you're pushing me out.' I am kind of apprehensive about it, and the times part of his penis has sort of gone in, it was very painful and I had a burning sensation for the next half a day. If I grimace or he feels that I'm in pain, it turns him off. He wants it to be a pleasurable experience for both of us, and I'm really lucky that I've found a great guy, but he just doesn't seem to be aroused by me any more. I asked him if I should try and reach in and break the hymen somehow myself so that it won't hurt so much and will make sex more possible; of course, he got mad at that suggestion and said that he wanted to do it the right way. He just wanted me to relax a little more, etc. I try to relax, but I don't know what the problem is. He doesn't want to see a doctor for me yet. He says first we have to relax and keep trying, but I can't even remember the last time we tried. I truly love him but have no idea how to make this happen. Any suggestions? P.S.: He also thinks that I've been reading too much on vaginismus and stuff like that since before we got married, and that's the reason why I cannot psychologically accept him getting in.
you have mentioned both the likely causes of your problem, it's either your hymen or vaginismus in my humble opinion. i think it sounds more like vaginismus. seeing as this has been a problem for months i think perhaps you should see a doctor, they would have a better chance of diagnosing you than us. if it is a tough hymen that is causing this you may need a small procedure to open/remove it.