The New Psychology Of Keeping New Year's Resolutions

In January of 2013, I resolved that I was going to get into such good shape that I could run a half-marathon by the end of the year. Over the next twelve months I a heart attack and a cardiac arrest and a mild stroke, and I was in the hospital four times. In January of 2014, I resolved I was going to live to the end of the year. I am happy to report I am, at the time I am writing this article, completely on track to achieve my goal.

One way of making sure you can keep your New Year's resolutions is to set a really low bar, for instance, breathing. But pop psychologists and New Age gurus suggest some other tools for success, that may or may not (usually not) work.

Just focus on the "vibration" of what you want and the Universe has no choice but to deliver it to you

Many people first became aware of the "law of attraction" with the 2006 publication of Rhonda Byrne's book The Secret. The premise of the book and of the film by the same name that followed was that experiences, events, situations, and material objects "match the frequency" of a person's thoughts and feelings. Just think the right thoughts, the book and the movie and thousands of imitators promise us, and you can't fail to have everything you want.

If you don't want to get fat, some theorists of the law of attraction advise, turn away when you see fat people. If you don't want to experience a natural disaster, turn off the news.

An author I know who practiced "news avoidance" was caught completely off guard by Hurricane Sandy, sending out a desperate Tweet only when the winds blew down the trees in front of her house, asking what could be happening. 

But everything about the practices of The Secret and The Power isn't bad. Being clear about what you want to happen in your life really does help you achieve it--but it doesn't magically attract your goals to you.

You can achieve your goals with Emotional Freedom Technique

Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as tapping and EFT, is a method invented by psychotherapist Gary Craig that combines principles of acupuncture, neurolinguistic programming, and "energy psychology" to free people from emotional restraints. Most often used to relieve post-traumatic stress disorder, EFT has been adapted to supporting goal attainment. "Tap your forehead and say to aloud 'I win 50 million dollars in the lottery next Tuesday'" one New Age counselor advises her students.

And who knows, maybe someone will use EFT and actually win 50 million dollars in the lottery, or lose two dress sizes, or buy a Masserati. EFT is at least as valuable as acupressure, which uses some of the same principles, and it really can increase focus and relieve stress, but it will not make your desires and goals immediately materialize.

Inch by inch, life's a cinch

Mile by mile, life's a trial, by inch by inch, life's a cinch, John Bytheway said and televangelist Robert Schuller repeated. Many people believe that small changes in habits are all that they need to make big changes in life outcomes--and in some instances, they're right.

See Also: Making New Year's Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Flexibility sometimes requires moving ahead in life more than just a little at a time.

What Goal-Setting Techniques Really Work?

If you your New Year's resolutions (or your goals chosen at any other time of year) are really important enough to you to try to keep, what can you do to make sure you achieve them? Psychological research has some suggestions:

• Goals need to be measurable or recognizable, that is, you need to be able to recognize success when you accomplish it. If you want to meet the person of your dreams, have some idea of what kind of person that would be (although it's usually not best to set your sights on a single, specific person). If you have a weight goal, imagine how you would feel either thinner or more completely bulked out, or both. A successful goal for saving money might be "I will not overdraft my account this year," or I will save enough to pay for gifts for the next holiday season in cash.
• Goals need to be specific enough that you can recognize success but flexible enough that you can deal with changing conditions. Psychologists call this principle "optimal heterophily," choosing goals that are different enough from your present condition to be satisfying but similar enough to your present condition that you don't stress out or burn out trying to achieve them.
• Expressing authentic positive emotions makes achieving goals easier. This is particularly true of goals you achieve with the help of others. People are more likely to continue helping you when they know they are doing the right thing.  Exaggerating positive benefits, however, is only helpful in dealing with people who direct your goals, that is, with your boss, psychologists have found.
• Choose goals you know you can achieve--but aren't achieving right now. Place your confidence in yourself, not in some mystical power around you to achieve what you want.

In practical terms, achieving your New Year's resolutions is more likely when you make your resolution about the journey, not the destination.

Setting your New Year's resolutions in terms of week to week or even day to day goals is more likely to result in success than choosing a single big goal for the year. Don't be like me and set a goal of running a half-marathon by the end of the year. Set a goal, for instance, of exercising three times a week and doing a little better each week. If you don't meet your goal for one week or one day, get back on track.

State your goals clearly enough that another person can understand them, and then use the buddy system to stick to plan. Plan for success. If your goal is to exercise more, for example, arrange your daily appointments and obligations so you have time to work out. 

Get an app for your resolutions to keep track of progress. And don't be afraid to reassess your resolutions as they year goes along, changing them, rather than abandoning them.

See Also: New Year, New You - 5 of the Best Diet Tips

The ability to get back on track is key to success with New Year's resolutions and goal attainment in every aspect of life.