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I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I'm only 2 and 1/2 months pregnant and my boyfriend and I constantly fight over the stupidest things. I know there's still time to get an abortion if I wanted to, but I don't wanna give up my baby. This coming from someone who was always anti-children. I've grown to the idea of being a mommy but can I handle being a single mommy? I've always been the independent woman who never took squat from anyone and could handle everything on my own. Now, I'm in this new relationship where I've become so dependent on my boyfriend and I have no idea how I got there. Yes, I do love him but is love always enough? He's got such a bad temper and it's especially worse when he drinks. I can't say I'm innocent either, though. I used to be a heavy drinker and I would feed off of his anger and antagonize. Now, I'm not drinking and I see things a little more clear. He's promised to get help time and time again but still, nothing has changed. I keep on running to my mom and staying at her place whenever we get into a serious fight and then the next day, he promises to get help but yet he never does and then we're back to square one. How many times can I forgive him until enough is enough? And what am I going to do when the baby comes? I can't go running to mom. Although she says she'll take me in no matter what, I won't put that burden on her. Not with a newborn baby. Who wants to deal with that when it's not their kid? Plus, I don't have a car. Do I stick around and deal with my mentally abusive other half and just swallow my pride? Or do I get out? If so, how? I don't think I could afford it on my own. How did I let it get to this?

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I think that the best thing to do would be to keep the baby, first off. You said you've grown to the idea of being a mommy and therefore I think that if you do abort the baby you will regret it later down the road and that is a whole new set of emotional issues which you don't want to experience. Second, I think the other best thing to do for both you and your baby is to leave. Not leave for the night and go back the next day or in a few weeks but leave. I would set some ground rules with your boyfriend too, since you do love him I think that the only way to be with him later is to leave now. Tell him he needs to quit drinking and get ready to be a father. He needs to treat you with respect and you need to respect him as well (this means no antagonizing him.. as hard as that can be). I would go stay with your mom for a little bit, keep working through your pregnancy and save up money to have when the baby is born. You may need to swallow your pride for a while and stay with your mom till a while after the baby is born (assuming she is ok with that). I don't think that you would be putting a burden on your mom at all by having a newborn in the house, it's her grandchild she will be gawking over him/her constantly... which will make finding a babysitter for when you need to work easier. I would sit down and talk to your mom about it and see if that's an option. But for you and your boyfriend.. I think you two need to have a serious talk about whether you're going to stay together because angry drunks are not what you want your child around. Perhaps the only way to be together is to be apart for a while. I hope I've helped!
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Hi:
It sounds like underneath of this toxic relationship is a woman who really does know how to take care of yourself. It also sounds like you have a supportive mother who would probably be a lot happier if she knew that you were coming to stay with her because you were committed to putting your baby first and were actively looking to get back on your independent feet. She would probably welcome that instead of supporting you just until you go back to the potentially violent, harmful, toxic relationship. I am sure that you do not want that type of environment for your innocent baby. You baby could get caught in the crossfire. Don't wake up 5 years from now with a wounded child who blames you for his/her misery and 5 wasted years of your life. You can do it. Put your baby first. That will be your motivation. Get out now in one piece while you still can. Best wishes. Please let us know what you decide and how you are doing.
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