I have been with my gf for a little over 3 years. I like to try new things but she isn't up for some things. I have always wanted to do anal and have talked to her about it. We have only tried it once. Even before we tried it she was very against it. I would never push her in to doing it with me, she would 100% want to do it herself. We tried it once. i tried to be as careful as i could. I used a ton of lube. I tried to get her to relax as much as possible so she would not be clenching thus making it hurt more. I started out with my finger also. She was in an extreme amount of pain. it even hurt with my finger. She has never even thought about trying it since. What can i do to help it hurt less or assure her it wont hurt as bad. Will it always hurt that bad? I hate to see her in pain but anal really turns me on. Is there a special lube i can use? What would be the best position for her? Also, we are both disease free, should i always use a condom for anal?
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well if it hurts her maybe its best to not do it. any kind of lube is fine and get her to lay on her stomach and tell her to relax. get her pretend she's taking a c**p like pushing it out cuz that will open her up more.
But if nothing works and she is still hurting pretty bad then stop. you could probably hurt her in thee end
But if nothing works and she is still hurting pretty bad then stop. you could probably hurt her in thee end
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Hi there,
Well, I'm sorry to say this, but if she's not 100% in to it, you're sh*t out of luck (pardon the pun ;). If she's nervous at all, no matter what you do , you won't get her to relax enough for it to be NOT painful for her. So what you really need to do is not only sell the idea to her, but get her turned on by it, too. Quite the big job, but if you're up for it, here are some suggestions.
- Try introducing anal play in your regular foreplay (i.e. sticking a finger in while you're fingering her)
- Watch some anal porn together (if she's into watching sexy movies)
- Try talking dirty to her while you're having regular vaginal sex (i.e. ooo baby, i'd really love to stick it in your tight ass ... or something along those lines)
- Buy her an informative book, or introduce her to this forum! It's possible that she has some preconceived notions about anal sex, which are preventing her from relaxing and enjoying it. It would likely be important for her to know that many women enjoy anal sex ... a lot! :)
- Buy her some starter toys, and try to incorporate them into your regular foreplay. You can get them online and delivered right to your door (just Google it, my friend).
Just a few ideas there.
Now as for the condom use, if you're both disease-free and monogamous, it's not imperative that a condom is used. You can even cum in her ass ... that's okay too! But you may want to urinate after sex, just to get any harmful bacteria out of your urethra (and she may want to have a bowel movement to get rid of that semen).
But all in all, I hope you both keep trying at it! And keep me posted ... I'd love a follow up! :)
Happy Sexing!
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Best position would be on the side. Also please always use condoms even if you are both disease and drug free. Chances to spread disease or infection are higher when performing anal sex. Hepetitus C is greatly spread that way. Once you are infected with the virus. It is only treatable. Never goes away. Even if dormant, can still be spread to others. Also do not switch between vaginal and anal. Back and forth. Too much bacteria involved and your girlfriend could get a bad vaginal infection which are very painful.
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It's psychological if she is not sure about it and is uncomfortable she will tense up sometimes even without knowing she's doing it and it will never feel good and will hurt no matter what. with anal sex you have to be completely relaxed and feel at ease espeshely if your to achieve an anal orgasam. Also a bad experience can put someone off forever, she may feel uncomfortable for the reason being she may think she did no prep properly first that's a big thing that gos through people mind when being the bottom person.
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