anorexia can t lose weight after recovery

I am also recovering... I am 5'1 and 130lbs. My lowest weight during anorexia was 73lbs.
I haven't had a period in 2 years. I have been recovering for 11mojths now. For the first 6 months in ate a lot, 2500-3000 calories.. Then I woke up one day, fat. My anorexia was starvation and extreme exercise. During the first 6 months I did not exercise. Then in December I joined a gym, I wanted to be a size 6 by my birthday, February 14th. I didn't lose, I actually gained, despite running 7 miles a day.
All through February and March I didn't go the gym. Again I gained.
I am overweight by 1 point of a centile. I've never been this heavy.
I'm back at the gym, weightlifting and playing squash... Haven't ate junk food, been eating 900-1150 a day (1150 being my bmr for fat loss)
Before anorexia I was:
Waist:27
Hips:33

During anorexia:
Waist: 23
Hips:!29

Now:
Waist 29
Hips: 36

I hate my current body.
However I want to live, enjoy nights out, go the cinema. Anorexia destroyed my life. It still has, I quit my job because my UK size 10 trousers are too tight and I refuse to buy a UK size 12.
My want to be skinny, anorexia wants me to be skinny but I won't allow me to destroy myself again. I wNt my friends back.
After all what are a UK size 6 pants if I have nowhere to go in them or the energy to move in them??..
However I am not saying I don't want a size 6 to fit again I'm just saying diet and moderate exercise will get me there so I look fit, slim, tight and toned. Not skinny,sunken,withdrawn and alone. Anorexia is a lonely illness. She becomes your only friend and only person who understands you. That's because she wants you to die because then she has won. I won't allow her to win.
Still no periods, my blood tests have came back ok and my weight keeps splurging everyday I fight the urge not to restrict again. Besides on the days I do restrict the next day I'm so bloated and weigh more? Anyone else experience this??
Xxx

Hi, I'm glad that I found this post because I to am a recovering anorexic. I was anorexic for only a year but in that year I lost 24 pounds off my already underweight frame. My parents stepped in and made me start eating again so I did but the emotional part of my eating disorder was not addressed. I am back up to 100 pounds now and hate it! I hate it not because of the weight ( well yeah that does bother me as well) it's because I still feel like i did while I had my eating diorder depressed, anxious, worthlessness, and basically just hating myself. My point to this long rant is that in order to achieve your goal weight ie a healthy weight which you feel comfortable at you have to first love yourself at any weight. which means loving your self 30 pounds overweight because once you love yourself you will be happy with being you. This will all lead to wanting to take care of you and being healthy. So my advise to everyone is to work on being happy and loving themselves so that you lose the weight to be healthy or decide that you are happy with the weight you are at. Wow, sorry about that long rant I think now I should probably go and take my mine advise! I hope that this helped!

Hey,
I just want you to know that I was also there. When I was anorexic, my parents hardly noticed until I was hospitalized! Imagine, a mom who is always dieting and calling herself 'fat' when she is just normal, you know? Definitely idolizing the thin thin frame which is not healthy at all.

Anyway, I also went through a period of about a year and a half, maybe two years, where I was just letting myself eat whatever I wanted... all that control in my life and discipline I realized was so restricting, that I just wanted to all out enjoy food, and so I did! Seriously, it was fun even though I was a little bit pudgy. Well, finally after trying on clothes and hating everything I decided to start swimming three times a week. After that, my love of fitness escalated, and now I love doing youtube exercise videos! They are so fun and the videos like Tiffany Rothe and Blogilates will give you strong body role models. The best thing is to make it your goal to be fit, ie. building muscle tone. And you will feel better.

Concentrate on getting whole food nutrition, ie whole grains, veggies, fruits, meats, fish, eggs... anything that does not come from a package! You should not have to count calories if you eat naturally most of the time.

On top of that, do enjoy an ice cream or a brownie a couple times a week.... because getting too disciplined is a dangerous spiral for those who used to have eating disorders. I think for a lot of us, that mindset never really leaves. Just think fit, healthy, but carefree

my situation is just like this if not worse and I am so scared and unsure what to do

help me I explained this to my pediatrician and she thought it was BS and unnecessary for 3000 cals and told me to embark and exercise program no one believes this I feel so alone and ridiculed by people who say not to just trust all these articles and studies on the internet I'm on the brink of it.

help me nobody believes me not even my pediatrician she wants me to cut calories and to embark exercise she does not believe this nor my family

Your message is from years ago -- but someone else (like me) may be reading through the subject because they are feeling bad about themselves.

I am 67 years old, I have struggled with issues of weight all my life. I was "fat" when I was 16 and weighed barely 100; I am fat now at  201~! My biggest emotion right now is that I feel just as bad and worthless about the 100 lbs now as I did with the 1 or 2 lbs then!

I am working with a bariatic surgery team right now to decide if gastric bypass surgery is the way for me to go.  I have many health (and mental) issues that tie to my weight -- and I just want to take the power back from food. 

I don't know what I will do -- I don't know anyone in my severe situation (or even age and time living with this).  If there is someone out there that I can share my frustrations with or bouce ideas off  of -- I would love it if you would respond to me.

I'm so glad I found this because my story is practically the same as all of you. 2 years ago I developed an ED and got diagnosed, I was eating less than 300 calories a day and working out 1 hour or more daily. When I started recovering with the help of a team of doctors my nutricionist gave me a diet back then to gain 6 pounds to be at a normal weight, I never really followed, only upped my calories to 800 (maintaining that for 2 months and then to 1.300-1.400 which has been my calorie goal for 1 1/2 year now) I recovered through clean eating and working out and since then I've never lost those habits, except that now I'm more flexible with non clean foods, normal people would've stayed in that "normal" weight doing what I've done for this past years but not me. I've gained 30 pounds and I'm in the limit of my healthy weight range. I've gone to various endocrinologists and they can't give me pills for hypothyroidism because even though I'm in the limit to having it I can't be diagnosed. I don't know what to do anymore, doctors haven't gave me any solutions, I'm trying my best to be as healthy as I can and I still keep gaining weight and fat. I really hope one day we get a solution for this!!!!

Th comments are so helpful! I was diagnosed with anorexia 3 years ago, started the tendencies 4-5 years ago. I started recovery 2 years ago, I've gained all the weight back. Sadly, my problem is, I'm still not fat (doctors say), but I see that I am. I want to lose the weight, and I'm scared I'll fall too hard into old habits

Relieved that I'm not the only one. I was 13 when the thoughts of self-hatred first thrust themselves onto me, at a time when I was already losing weight at a slow/moderate rate. I was so frustrated at how little difference I noticed in my body - how I STILL didn't look like a model. So at the current weight I was at that time, 127lb, I went low-carb, but didn't replace the calories from the carbs I excluded. Because of that I lost weight very quickly, especially with my daily jogs and the exercises I would do in my bedroom. After the realization that I'd lost 3lb in the first week, I think that's how I became addicted to it. I felt lighter and lighter, therefore more "feminine", and being lightheaded was like being high - in my own little world where I could ignore everything and everybody. I feel like it's purpose was to numb me from my low self-esteem and my social anxiety. And I miss it so much. My lowest weight was 104lb. It was never about a particular goal weight, I just wanted to know that I was losing weight every day. As I was reading these comments, I read so many people's experiences of the dreadful times when they were near to death due to being underweight, and what I know is insane - yet 100% honestly true - is that I read them and automatically thinking: "I'd rather have blood dripping out of my mouth like she did than be 140lb" and "I wish I that thin again so that I can put all of my focus on not collapsing in public, while acting like everything was completely normal". I gained weight until I was 120lb because my mum eventually threatened to take me to the doctors if I didn't start eating more. Because if I went to the doctors then it would more public, and it was the one sacred secret I had, like losing weight was my own personal success story. I stayed around 118lb - 122lb for a while. My period came back after nearly two years. But then I was forced to move to a new city which I didn't want to go to (note my social anxiety,) because it would mean leaving my friends (all two of them,) and tossing away the routine I'd gotten used to my whole life. My new house felt like a dump to me and my bedroom felt grotty. With no friends and no one to talk to I ate for comfort. I went on binges, then trying to make up for it with laxatives. I put on 20lb more overall. And now, because I've missed around half of year 12 at school due to feeling to hideous and fat to leave the house, I've dropped out. And I'm starting again next September in the hope that I'll have lost weight by then. The thoughts are still here, still wide awake and make me cry every night and every time I step in the shower.

I read your post, and this really stuck out like a sore thumb for me. My grandfather under went gastric bypass surgery, and the one thing he always says is that its not worth it in the long run for the mediocre results you will receive. The problem is, is that you have to already have a discipline in maintaining yourself and how you eat prior to under going this surgery. It's completely pointless if you let loose years after the surgery or even directly after. More importantly you will have to maintain a strict workout routine to insure your health does not decline, not only from your eating habits but from the surgery itself.

‘The 3 Week Diet’, a system by Brian Flatt reveals to people exactly how they can rapidly lose over 1 pound of body weight per day. The diet doesn’t involve starving yourself or exercising like crazy, but instead follows a specific scientific method of including certain nutrient rich foods into your diet that, when combined, offer special fat-combating properties. You don’t need to restrict yourself to certain types of foods like ‘no carbs’ or ‘no sugar’, but rather include ‘the good stuff’ as well to help burn the fat. This diet is extremely effective and based off years of scientific research and testing to ensure its safety and effectiveness. I think you should give this a look before spending the money and time on a surgery, you can completely avoid.

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This is me again.. I have just found this post and I have to say the past year has been a crazy rollercoaster. I still struggle daily with body image. However I am again a size 6-8. I eat mostly healthy but i do also eat junk food. Pepsi max is still staple in my diet. I train 5x a week maximum. Sometimes i do not train at all.. i went from Feb 21st - now (16th May) with no training.. I am;
Waist; 25.5
Hips; 33.5 and I weigh 117lb.

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Hi, I too am currently struggeling with the excess weight I have gained after recovering from anorexia last Summer. I am very frustrated and disgusted at myself that no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I cannot loose a pound. The scale wont buldge a bit. I am severly overweight according to the BMI charts and feel very uncomfortable in my own body.My family and friends wont miss an occassion to talk about the need for me to loose weight. It makes me very sad that nobody believes in my efforts, no matter how healthy I eat, no matter how hard I exercise, it just wont work. Everybody thinks that I must be eating and binging on junk food in secret as there are never results to be seen. I have lost so many friends over this topic and even my family seems more and more sceptical towards me. I am happy to have found this thread and to know that there are others going trough the same thing as me. Many of you have posted your stories a long time ago, so I was wondering if you ever mananged to reach your ideal and healthy weight? Also if you could tell me how you did it and how long it took, that would help me so much! Thank you!

I am going to say the cliche "talk to your doctor" remark, because they can help you lose weight safely.

I completely understand how you all feel, I actually came across this site from searching 'i want my anorexia back ' I know I don't really want it back, but I feel as if that's the only way I'll lose weight.
I'm recovered in the sense I'm now a healthy weight, if anything I'm the heavier range of healthy, but I'm not recovered in my head.
I've put on 3 stone from my lightest weight and despite eating well and exercising every day I can not shift any weight. I even did Joe Wicks 90 daysss plan and did not lose any weight.
I don't want to go back to how thin I was, I would just like the lose like 1 1/2 or 2 stone, and least not be pushing the heavier side of healthy. I'd feel more comfortable in my skin, I just don't know why nothing is working.