Hi. I randomly came across this thread and your post really stuck out to me, as I am in the very same situation. I saw this post was from a year ago and really just wanted to know if anything or everything has changed for you. I am also experiencing the fact that although I eat extremely healthy and exercise five times a week religiously...I can't seem to tone up and my weight will not budge. It's extremely frustrating and heartbreaking, as I don't even feel comfortable in my own skin...any advice or changes you've seen happen in this past year? Do we that are recovering from An ED ever go back to normal? I was only struggling with bulimia for a little under a year!
Your story and so many of the ones I've been reading on this thread are so similar to what is happening to me its crazy. I am 18 years old just graduated high school this month and I started worrying about my weight ever since I first entered high school. Well actually to be more exact I didn't start *obsessing* over my weight until my sophomore year. I had never been fat or overweight before my weight loss journey but I had always had a very curvy body with most of my weight going in my thighs and butt and a relatively tiny waist with hips. Anyway during my sophomore year I suddenly got very interested in health foods and diets and started to slowly work out more and eat a lot less. I also began to restrict a lot of foods from my diet to the point where I literally did not eat anything at all other than like ten foods which I came to see as my "clean and safe foods". I began to stop going out a lot with my friends because it stressed me out a lot the fact of going to a restaurant and facing all my "fear foods" and I also stopped enjoying the foods I once ate with my family and never allowed myself to eat any sugary foods or even a tiny slice of cake on my own birthday. I ate super small portions (like half of what everyone ate) and didn't eat anything that I felt wasn't healthy. This restrictive eating pattern went on for about a year and a half (half of sophomore year and all of my junior year) and it wasn't until the summer before my senior year of high school that it finally hit me that I had a problem and was severely underweight. So i never even mentioned this in the beginning but before I began to lose weight and just ate normal and exercised moderately I weighed 142 lbs at 5'6 ft. As time progressed and I slowly started losing weight i began to see the numbers go down to 118 lbs, then 112lbs. By the end of my junior year I weighed 110 lbs and at one point I even weighed 108 lbs (my lowest ever)!!! I was waaaay underweight and the negative comments came pouring in with people at school constantly making remarks at how thin I was and looked anorexic and to a point where even my family was worried about me and thought I needed to start eating because I looked sick. My menstrual cycle also completely stopped along the way and I was going though amenorrhea and did not see my period for more than a year now. So it finally hit me that summer after my junior year and when I was coming into senior year! I began to eat more and stop obsessing over my foods and what I ate and when. The numbers on the scale slowly and surely began to come up and my jeans where no longer baggy on me but finally felt snug and even gave me a little curves where my butt once was nonexistent. Fast forward to mid senior year people at school finally began to notice my transformation again and this time the comments where good and they told me that "I looked great and healthy" (meaning I didn't look too thin or sick). I felt more energetic, I was no longer always needing to wear a sweater everywhere I went even when it was hot and everyone else was in short sleeves, I didn't feel insecure about my legs being tiny toothpicks in my tennis skirts, and didn't feel insignificant and invisible because boys actually turned to stare at my butt and curvy figure again. I was now close to starting weight at140 lbs and instead of size 00 jeans I now fit into size 5 again. I should have felt so happy and confident because I had a pretty curvy and fit body but there were still moments where I felt fat and disgusted with my weight gain. Towards the end of my senior year I was at 147 lbs (5 lbs heavier than what my initial 142 lbs) and I longed to lose weight so bad. I didn't understand how this could happen to me so fast and so sudden and how I let it happen. I was secretly overeating and never realized that I was putting on a lot of weight because I didn't think I was eating a lot because I was never full. I felt ashamed and sad that I had gained all of my weight I had worked so hard to lose and maintain to keep off and I was also discouraged and lost about how I was going to have to start all over again. Today it has now been a month since I graduated high school and I am on summer vacation. I have started exercising and running a lot and have tried to eat as healthy as I first did when I started my restrictive diet. I have been able to go down to 141 lbs but still want to go down to 130 lbs where I feel is my ideal and perfect weight for my height of 5'7ft. I am in the yo-yo stage of my post-eating disorder recovery stage and I am having a very difficult time going below 145 lbs and maintaining there for more than one week. I lose three pounds one week and go down to 141 lbs but then I somehow go back up to 147 lbs. It a total nightmare and I just wish I had never gone though this eating disorder and could just be like all the other girls who can eat normal and exercise a little and still lose two lbs a week and keep it off. I am trying so hard but can't seem to stick to my diet for more than five days without caving in and eating bad again. I am hoping that once I get a job and start college I will begin to be distracted and stop snacking so much and just lose weight while going to the gym only a couple times a week. We will see how it goes, I will keep you guys posted after July.
Your story and so many of the ones I've been reading on this thread are so similar to what is happening to me its crazy. I am 18 years old just graduated high school this month and I started worrying about my weight ever since I first entered high school. Well actually to be more exact I didn't start *obsessing* over my weight until my sophomore year. I had never been fat or overweight before my weight loss journey but I had always had a very curvy body with most of my weight going in my thighs and butt and a relatively tiny waist with hips. Anyway during my sophomore year I suddenly got very interested in health foods and diets and started to slowly work out more and eat a lot less. I also began to restrict a lot of foods from my diet to the point where I literally did not eat anything at all other than like ten foods which I came to see as my "clean and safe foods". I began to stop going out a lot with my friends because it stressed me out a lot the fact of going to a restaurant and facing all my "fear foods" and I also stopped enjoying the foods I once ate with my family and never allowed myself to eat any sugary foods or even a tiny slice of cake on my own birthday. I ate super small portions (like half of what everyone ate) and didn't eat anything that I felt wasn't healthy. This restrictive eating pattern went on for about a year and a half (half of sophomore year and all of my junior year) and it wasn't until the summer before my senior year of high school that it finally hit me that I had a problem and was severely underweight. So i never even mentioned this in the beginning but before I began to lose weight and just ate normal and exercised moderately I weighed 142 lbs at 5'6 ft. As time progressed and I slowly started losing weight i began to see the numbers go down to 118 lbs, then 112lbs. By the end of my junior year I weighed 110 lbs and at one point I even weighed 108 lbs (my lowest ever)!!! I was waaaay underweight and the negative comments came pouring in with people at school constantly making remarks at how thin I was and looked anorexic and to a point where even my family was worried about me and thought I needed to start eating because I looked sick. My menstrual cycle also completely stopped along the way and I was going though amenorrhea and did not see my period for more than a year now. So it finally hit me that summer after my junior year and when I was coming into senior year! I began to eat more and stop obsessing over my foods and what I ate and when. The numbers on the scale slowly and surely began to come up and my jeans where no longer baggy on me but finally felt snug and even gave me a little curves where my butt once was nonexistent. Fast forward to mid senior year people at school finally began to notice my transformation again and this time the comments where good and they told me that "I looked great and healthy" (meaning I didn't look too thin or sick). I felt more energetic, I was no longer always needing to wear a sweater everywhere I went even when it was hot and everyone else was in short sleeves, I didn't feel insecure about my legs being tiny toothpicks in my tennis skirts, and didn't feel insignificant and invisible because boys actually turned to stare at my butt and curvy figure again. I was now close to starting weight at140 lbs and instead of size 00 jeans I now fit into size 5 again. I should have felt so happy and confident because I had a pretty curvy and fit body but there were still moments where I felt fat and disgusted with my weight gain. Towards the end of my senior year I was at 147 lbs (5 lbs heavier than what my initial 142 lbs) and I longed to lose weight so bad. I didn't understand how this could happen to me so fast and so sudden and how I let it happen. I was secretly overeating and never realized that I was putting on a lot of weight because I didn't think I was eating a lot because I was never full. I felt ashamed and sad that I had gained all of my weight I had worked so hard to lose and maintain to keep off and I was also discouraged and lost about how I was going to have to start all over again. Today it has now been a month since I graduated high school and I am on summer vacation. I have started exercising and running a lot and have tried to eat as healthy as I first did when I started my restrictive diet. I have been able to go down to 141 lbs but still want to go down to 130 lbs where I feel is my ideal and perfect weight for my height of 5'7ft. I am in the yo-yo stage of my post-eating disorder recovery stage and I am having a very difficult time going below 145 lbs and maintaining there for more than one week. I lose three pounds one week and go down to 141 lbs but then I somehow go back up to 147 lbs. It a total nightmare and I just wish I had never gone though this eating disorder and could just be like all the other girls who can eat normal and exercise a little and still lose two lbs a week and keep it off. I am trying so hard but can't seem to stick to my diet for more than five days without caving in and eating bad again. I am hoping that once I get a job and start college I will begin to be distracted and stop snacking so much and just lose weight while going to the gym only a couple times a week. We will see how it goes, I will keep you guys posted after July.
no one has ever said something I can relate to more
I tried recovery gained 25pounda quit going back to being an Ana harder to lose weight help me please I can't be this fat I need a diet
I am having same problem the weight just won't come off 500cals a day 25 laps in pool First time I didn't even try and the weight fell off not this time any suggestions I even feed the dogs under the table they it anything
I to realize how you feel, I also gained 30 pounds and would like to lose just enough to make the rolls disappear and have my huge breasts go back to the way they began, small. How can this be done without going to far!
Hi there. I just saw this now. I was also anorexic before. I gained a ton of weight after recovery. Shot up to about 6 kilos over my weight before becoming anorexic. I didn't diet or had a formal work out plan. I just ate to satisfaction and enjoyed some activities with friends. After 2-3 years, I'm back to my origina weight. I'm a healthy BMI 21 and I don't diet or work out. I just eat relatively healthy, with a few treats here and there. I don't have time to really exercise. Just relax and eat well.
I was anorexic too....I went to 3 treatments centers each year since I was 15. At my lowest I was 84 pounds at 5,5. (before this I was 150 pounds at 5'5 when I was 12. At 14 I was 5'5 and 120 pounds) After my last treatment center, I started eating again. I gained at least 50 pounds in 6 months. I wasn't binging, but i did stop exercising. For a year my body didn't stop gaining. I was on and off diets but as soon as I would go off I would gain Even MORE! I ended up at 180 pounds at 5'5 which was crazy! Now I'm at 150 which is barley healthy. I'm just done with my body right now and I never actually think o recovered. I'm still restricting just like before but I'm fatter. the only bright side is that I'm healthier and I'm not afraid of going to the doctors and they taking me by force to treatment centers against my will. hopefully I'll lose weight but my body is clinging onto 150 and o can't get it down. I also can't do it the healthy way because I really want to restrict then I binge.
Hi! I know this was a long time ago but is there an update to how you are doing? I am in a similar situation. I am anorexic with exercise bulimia. I was VERY frail at one point but over 5 years my body gained back up to a normal weight. That's when I entered treatment because I didn't know what my body was doing. Since then I have packed on 30-40pound over the highest weight I have ever been eating normal and minimal exercise. I was sedentary for 9 months drs orders. Right now I'm eating normal (1800-2000 calories) and exercising minimum of 3 hours a week and am still gaining weight. Did your stop? Did you lose any of it? Thanks!
I came upon this site because I was searching for the same answer. Struggling with anorexia was one of the worst experiences of my life, outside of loosing my father at the age of 66 to alzheimer's and having financial difficulties. I got down to 105 at 5'9'' and was absolutely miserable. I think the social media trend has made if more difficult for us due to a constant unrealistic pressure of perfection. We could all look at magazines before, but it was easy to avoid them. Now it is nearly impossible to avoid the female persona all of us seem the believe we should comply to. Ive gained 20 pounds, during and after my fathers death. Replaced my non eating and smoking with drinking and just being alone. It is a confusing and lonely road to understand how to be a truly healthy woman again. I do believe it is possible, though. I came to this site for inspiration to become emaciated and unhealthy again, but was inspired instead to shear my struggle, and hope for my fellow ladies out there to fight through this with me. God bless you all. We can be the most beautiful souls out there if we allow ourselves to be.
I haven same problem it.now it seems all i do is gain hard problem
How is it going now?
This I literally me
This is me too