Hi, I'm 19 and in a steady relationship. I'm a virgin but my boyfriend is not. We have tried to have sex 20+ times and it DOESN'T WORK. I can get his penis in a little bit but then it seems to stop against something, and when we try to push past it it hurts SOO BAD. I understand that the first time is painful but this pain is unbearable. Also, once I tried to fight through it and pushed as absolutely hard as possible and it still wouldn't go! He's great about the whole thing, says its no big deal and that we can try again when I'm ready, but I am so sick of feeling sexually inadequate. I just don't feel like this is going to work this way. Is there anything else I could do?
There are a lot of reasons why attempted intercourse might be difficult or painful. They include:
A lack of lubrication. (Use some personal lube!)
A fear of pregnancy. (Use birth control.)
A fear of penetration. (Take your time and don't push it. Let her relax and take it at her own speed.)
A tough hymen might require a visit to a medical clinic and examination by a doctor. If that proves to be the cause, a simple procedure to cut, break, snip or adjustment to the hymen could be done in the office.
In any case, I wouldn't keep attempting it until after consulting a medical person.
And, though a poster above indicates that first sex IS suppose to hurt, I challenge that. It CAN hurt...It MIGHT hurt... but it doesn't HAVE to hurt.
There are many ways to deal with a tight or tough hymen. But I wouldn't insist that the first time is going to hurt. (Of course, I'm not female, so I can't speak from experience, except that my partners never spoke of any pain to me...and I doubt that any were virgins....)
Good luck. Let us know what you decide to do.
A lack of lubrication. (Use some personal lube!)
A fear of pregnancy. (Use birth control.)
A fear of penetration. (Take your time and don't push it. Let her relax and take it at her own speed.)
A tough hymen might require a visit to a medical clinic and examination by a doctor. If that proves to be the cause, a simple procedure to cut, break, snip or adjustment to the hymen could be done in the office.
In any case, I wouldn't keep attempting it until after consulting a medical person.
And, though a poster above indicates that first sex IS suppose to hurt, I challenge that. It CAN hurt...It MIGHT hurt... but it doesn't HAVE to hurt.
There are many ways to deal with a tight or tough hymen. But I wouldn't insist that the first time is going to hurt. (Of course, I'm not female, so I can't speak from experience, except that my partners never spoke of any pain to me...and I doubt that any were virgins....)
Good luck. Let us know what you decide to do.
I would recommend looking into a medical condition called vaginismus.
I'm going to find a guy with a bigger penis & have him push harder. I've seen my brothers & it's hugh, maybe he would agree to help me?