Confused about abortion decisions

You replied back to one of my other posts and in that reply you suggested counciling, but now after reading this post I think YOU are the one who should really find someone to reach out to. Incest is just a bad situation for every one involved, I have no personal experience with the matter, but I can see why you are so distraught. You should really try and end the relationship and like you said just start over. Have you considered adoption at all? As much as I hate to say it though an abortion might be the best option for you, but please for your own sake don't get yourself into the same situation again! Abortion should NOT be used as a birthcontrol method.

Thank You so much for your reply. I keep going back in circles and I just don't want t have this baby. I have tried to get attached to the child and I just can't. Seeing my ultrasound just made it more distressing for me in going and doing the abortion. But I just think that if there's something inside of me that does not want to have this child I should listen to that instinct. When you go against your desires that's when trouble arises, I think. I just don't hve a moment of peace anymore. I want my sanity back.

Thanks for the book reccomendation. I will look into it. I am so very sorry about your relatives forced adoption. That was the norm in the 60's sadly. Many women were SEVERLY damaged because of that "trend". I believe it to be a violation of basic human rights.



I think....if your heart brings you to adoption...then you should pursue it.

I am not attempting to villify adoption by any means...but I think adoptive parents (and society in general) should understand that adoption brings a unique set of "issues" to the table. Children are affected by adoption. They have to suffer the loss of a family before they can make your family complete. The have to grieve the loss of a mother, a father, siblings, an identity as who they were born(thier names are often changed and thier BC altered exc) and the like. I think it is important to allow adopted children to grieve the way they need to grieve...to not expect them to be "greatful" for thier adoption....and too let them be WHO they are as they were born...not who you need them to be to complete your family.



A GREAT book to read is 20 things adopted children wish thier parents knew(might not be the exact title but its something like that....amazon should have it).



What I WILL villify is the ENTITLEMENT that some people have. When a person feels ENTITLED to another persons baby THEN I take issue. Adoption is about a child - not the wants and needs of a infertile couple. Adoptive couples who are self intrested iritate me. People who ignore the PAIN, TRUAMA, and SUFFERING that a natural parent and her family must endure to "make thier dreams come true" are cruel in my book. EXPECTING a woman to give you her child - just because you want it - is selfish. No one DESERVES someone elses child...EVER!!! And no one has the "right" to use force or coersion to make a woman gestate an unwanted pregnancy - and endure every risk that goes along with it - for thier own profit and benifit.

it really bothers me when people act like this. what a women does is her own choice. i personally have had an abortion cause at the time me and my boyfriend were not on good terms and we were young and not ready. i accidently got pregnant taking bc and antibiotics. it wasnt pyschically painful but emotionally it was. no one should judge anyone about what they done until they walk in their shoes. a year later we got pregnant with our son and i knew it was fate for us to have a baby so we decided to not terminate.and its hard being young parents and doing it on your own but i would have never considered adoptiong not only are there millions of kids in foster care who get abused but people want babys so unless your child gets adopted right away then more than likely your child will grow up in the horrible system. people who say they want to adopt why dont you start looking at adopting kids in our country before going to foreign lands. tons of these kids who stay in foster care end up uncared for and unloved, not saying that they all do but we all know its out there. and also before you start judging other people for their decision about their lives you try carrying a baby inside you for 9-10 months and try handing them over to someone else...i cant imagine that is easy at all. also people need to sit back and think about maybe something happened like rape or an abusive relationship and the mother doesnt want the child to grow up in that situation. instead of judging people need to let people make their own choices for themselves. i have to go through this again. i am now 5 weeks pregnant with sons father, we made a stupid drunken mistake and now have to figure out what we want to do. we cant work things out between us and me being 21 i dont wanna be a single mother of 1 let alone 2. but after having my son i dont think i could have an abortion but i know there is absolutely no way i could choose adoption. decisions like this change your lives and having people who constantly judge you and tell you what your doing is wrong is NOT making things easier.