Divorce because of husband's computer games addiction

my Problem isn't WoW, or games that you can play my husband is addicted to let's plays(walk though Video Games) people play and tell you secrets to the games while they play and record their game. he helps me with the kid but goes right back to the computer. So I get online and talk to people online feels like the only real communication I have besides my daughter and mom. He wakes up maybe drinks a cup of coffee with me and right to the computer. I want him to help me with our daughter and the house and look for work but he says he dose, when in reality he doesn't do much of anything but sit in front of the computer. he wants me to get a job too but i can't I have a full time job taking care of our daughter the bills the house him , plus i'm the only driver if i get a job who's gonna take him to work pay the bills do the shopping take our daughter to school ect.... I love him but wish I felt he loved me I am starting to hate computers their taking over the world slowly. :'(

i'M IN THE SAME SITUATION. i'M, PREGNANT WITH OUTR SECOND CHILD AND WORKING THE LATE SHIFT AT WORK EVERY OTHER WEEK. wHEN IM NOT THERE HE SITS OUR 3 YEAR OLD INFRONT OF THE TV AND IGNORES HER FROM THERE. lAST NIGHT HE WAS SO INTO THE GAME HE FORGOT TO FEED HER. i WORRY THAT IT WILL ONLOY GET WORSE AFTER OUR 2ND BABY IS HERE...wHAT HE FORGETS TO FEED IT? WHEN I BRING THE SITUATION UP HE GETS MAD, DIFENSIVE, YELLS AT ME. i CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, BUT HAVE NO WAY OUT CANNOT AFFORD DAYCARE BY MYSELF AND CAN'T AFFORD ANYOTHER WAY OF LIVING IF I CAN'T WORK. i PUT UP WITH IT AND MADE MY DAUGHTER MY WHOLE LIFE. MY 3 YEAR OLD HAS NOW REPLACED WHAT USED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND. I NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE WHERE OUT THERE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING. I ALMOST WANT AN AFFAIR JUST FOR THE INTAMICY THOUH I KNOW 2 WRONGS WOULD NOT MAKE A RIGHT. I FEEL LIKE THERE IS NOONE TO TALK TO ABOUT IT AND NO WHERE TO GO. I ASKED HIM TO CUT BACK ON HIS ONLINE TIME AND HE SAID I WAS TRYING TO CONTROL HIM

Hello ladies, I am a divorced man who had similar issues. After reading everyone's problems here I feel I may be able to shine some light on the subject and possibly save some of you an unwanted divorce.
First off, I'm not divorced from the gaming addiction. I've learned to control my time and limit myself over the years. It's VERY hard and not something anyone can jump right into doing.
If you want to get your hubbies to stop, the best way is to get them out of the house and get them some friends. I'm a single dad with a 4 year old daughter, I work 40 hours a week from home, I go to college full time, and I'm looking for a second job. Why am I so busy? Because I want to give my daughter everything.
It took a few years on my own to figure out that my life was c**p and games were in control of it.

Ladies, if you husbands are ignoring your attempts and/or children... then give them the ultimatum(game or a life) and tell them they need to leave the house in order to think about it. DO NOT leave them in the house. As they will only drown their problems and frustrations into the game and become further engrossed.
They will not like it, some will throw kiddy tantrums, scream, tell you that you are in the wrong, but stand your ground.
If they love you, they will stop, even if it's only temporary.
That's not what you want I hear, but it's a start.
Once they stop temporarily, get them out of the house and show them how much fun it is hanging out in a group. I know you will want some quality time alone, but get them to socialize. They will need other male interaction socially. If they are hanging out with other guys in a real world environment, the need for the game subsides because of the interaction taking place.


My exwife and I came to an agreement when I was over doing it. For every minute I spent rubbing her feet/back/shoulders, I could spend twice that playing games. So on my days where I really wanted to play, I would rub until my hands cramped. Then I would play(with a kitchen timer in from of me). Many of these games do not have the time in the game so people will continue to play.

Some tips...
Stay calm and keep yourself together when you provide the ultimatum.
Yelling just makes it worse.
Kick his butt out and give him a 24-48 hour limit and he can NOT return until the window is up. This should be enough time for reality to set in and provide a wakeup call. (DO NOT LET THEM TAKE THEIR COMPUTERS WHEN THEY LEAVE)
Within the window, some of the jobless hubbies can look for a job. They can work for any amount of money because it's more than they make playing games.

You women work too hard and deserve more from your men. Good luck with it and I hope that your husbands get their c**p together.

I needed this so bad right now; me and my husband just had a discussion about this...he plays WoW. We just moved to a military base and I left my family - we've only been married five months...I'm so lonely - I'm home all day alone and then I'm "alone" until I make dinner. He says I can't be lonely when we spend all day together - I don't see how we're spending all day together when if I ask him a question or talk to him he doesn't look away from the computer and he won't answer me. I usually count down from five and if he doesn't answer then I give up. I left all my family to move with him to another state and now I'm sooo lonely. I want butterflies in my stomach again too - when I read that in the previous post I cried. I miss that. I feel like I'm the one trying - hes my whole world. My days revolve around doing the "little things" to make him happy - I just want him to do "the little things" to me too. I feel guilty when I ask him to get off to spend time with me because he works and I don't - but I don't ask for much time with him. And then he gets mad because I don't have anything for us to do - he says "what do you want to do? Sit here and stare at each other?" So I'm at a loss of what to do. I asked him the other night to get off and spend time with me and I had to wait 3 1/2 hours for him to get off. I feel like I'm constantly waiting. I feel hopeless.

Hey guys... I thought i was going crazy! Thank god for this forum now i not im not. I have been with my husband for almost 3 years now married for under a year and we have 3 daughters under 3. 1of them we had together. Anyways my husband plays WOW non stop. I work at a prison from 3-11. He does not work. He stays here with our kids, stay at home dad. But he is obsessed with WOW. I am constantly worried that my girls are ok or not cuz i dont know if he takes breaks to check on them when im working. He is always on every morning when i get up. Yes he does ask me is there anything i can do for you before he gets on but as soon as he is on then its over. He is in the zone/. I have confronted him about it and he got angry and cranky said he just wouldnt play anymore. So of course i have to say no babe it makes you happy go ahead and play. Didnt know it would be this bad when i agreed to let him start playing. Anyways yea i feel neglected. We dont talk anymore and if we do its awkward cuz we dont know what to say to each other any more. I am starting to seek out attention elsewhere and unfortunately he doesnt seem to care. I am not going to be in this kind of relationship its not fair to me. But i am scared divorcing him is not fair to the kids. I dont know what to do.... please help!!!

I just got married in January of 2010 and my husband is a gamer. He used to play WoW and then he started playing Star Wars. His computer went down and he has been playing a trivia game on his iphone day and night. We have left town and are staying with my mother while we both look for jobs, but he never puts down the phone! He doesn't come to bed when I do. He comes in and tells me goodnight and goes back to his game. I wanted to have kids with him, but after reading these posts, I know I would be raising them by myself and I would be miserable. My x boyfriend in California told me to F him and come to San Diego, but as tempting as that sounds, he is just another ladies man. We went to a counselor and she told me to get rid of my x's on facebook and for him to limit his gaming to 30 minutes to 1 hour. My husband demanded that I do as she said and delete my x's from facebook, and that I also get off his case about the games. So he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

seems like i am not the only one who are struggling because of husband's addition. my husband plays all types of game, xbox, wow or anything you name. he spend most of his time play video game. i noticed he does not socialize anymore with people like he used to. i mentioned to him that i think he might overdoing what he is doing and he denied. he even play video game when we go to grocery or having dinner with friend. I don't know what to do. it is killing me. i love him so i want to work it out but he denies his problem and when i get mad, he promises things but after couple days it's back to where it was. i am thinking leaving him because i really can't take it anymore. i have been married over 3years and it's been an issue whole time. anyone has an idea?

I divorced in 2008 because my husband was addicted to an online game (EVE). We were married for 6 yrs and had a 3yr old son. He was also smoking pot and worked only when he wanted. He turned down jobs and stayed home. I was supporting the family, taking care of our son and him. I tried couseling with and without him for a year. I tried talking to him but he would get angry and say I was trying to humiliate him when I was insisting that he should get a job quit gaming/smoking. I finally decided to kick him out with his computer. He went to live with a friend in another city, leaving me alone with my kid. I was relieved, just not seing him on the computer was a relief. I became a single mother, he was seeing him only one weekend every two weeks. It was really hard, working 40 hrs a week, and being a single mom. But I felt more energized not having to support him. Then I met a guy, and now I have been with him for 2 years. He is very different, very responsible and not addicted to online games or pot. HE is healthy, has a good job, and I feel I have more family time, even if he's not the real father, he really takes good care of my son. Spend a lot of time playing with him, bring him outdoor. Sometimes I feel guilty that I broke my marriage and I wish I could have fixed things for my son, for him to live with his dad. I sometimes feel my son will hate me later on for having broken our family or not having tried hard enough...This is the downside of getting a divorce:guilt. I wanted to share my story if it can help some of you...

I feel like I am in the same boat but also different. I have been married for about 2 years now with my husband. And although he works and supports us. He is a soldier, (although he does work hard) him and the other guys at his job do play games a lot. Its as if in the military you have to play to get in. Its not that I don't love and respect my husband for what he does its just that I don't want to be one of those wives that has to control how much and when he plays on the games. I already had to make him only play at a 9pm to whenever on weekdays, because I would barely see him. He would come home from work say hi to me, talk with me for 5 min then go to his games, come down for dinner then go back up. Now he is getting better with actually spending time with me but on weekends its a different story. I know wives that have a time limit on the games and have control over the games and although it seems great I know if I did that he would resent me and I don't want that. I just want to spend time with him so that the games aren't interesting to him as much or not.
I get he is stressed from his job but at the same time what about my stress from my job and everything. We don't have kids yet but I work part time, go to school (to get my BA in Finance), take care of our pets (we have 3 of them), and clean house. And all he does is sit and play, although we may do things together for awhile once we come home he goes right up to the games. When we got married I didn't know he was that addicted. I knew he played but I thought he would lay off them as much once we got married. And I am not the most attractive woman out there and I know I have faults of my own and what not but, it also seems like he only stops to have sex with me and then go right back to play. I know 2 years isn't a long time to be married but he won't go out to parties with our friends because he is to busy playing his game. I feel lonely, under appreciated, and hurt by his games. Although I don't want a divorce I don't know what else to do because I know that he likes to play and it helps him relieve stress. At the same time how do I convince or make him see that he is playing to much and not trying to see what he has in front of him. We have a 2 story house and no matter if he is home or not home (because he is gone on some military thing) I feel alone and miss him.
I also hear people say that you have to be interesting like the game and get involved with him. Well what if you don't like video games or don't like COD, Modern Warfare 2, Battlefield, Borderlands, or zombie games? How do you become interesting if the things that you wanna do aren't the same as the games like he wants to play? I like to go out and do things but its lonely going up to a mountain, going around a park, a club, bar or what not by yourself because your spouse is to busy playing the games. I know that sometimes I am needy but at the same time I want respect like he gives to the games. At the same time we have 3 pets and a house that need to be taken care of and I can't be the only one playing with them or what not. I don't want to divorce my husband but I feel like he is always so busy on the games that he wouldn't even notice if I was gone or not, only when he is turned on.
We are wanting to have children and I don't know if he will stop or cut back once kids come. And I don't know if I want to raise kids knowing that their father will not want to do things or see them because he is to busy playing his games. I know that a lot of you all have children or have been married longer but at the same time its still frustrating how to get them to understand our needs as well as theirs. I don't entirely want to be selfish but feeling ignored, hurt, unloved, ugly and other emotions is not healthy. Letting out steam and stress is good but then there is a point when its to much, especially when you ignore your responsibilities around your house and to your family. I guess I don't understand how to get him to see that is what he is doing is hurting me and us.

I have had a past relationship that ended after 3 years when my boyfriend had decided that his game was more important to him than I was. This was before WoW, it was a mudding game that I tried to understand, but failed to do so. He had a wife and a family online... this "wife" ended up being the cause of our breakup. Years later I have managed to stay out of relationships with men who seem to rely on computer games to escape to another world. It is a huge pet peeve of mine now.

8 years later I meet my husband. Who in the past has enjoyed sports video games which wasn't a big deal. But he has now moved on to something else that is online. He is into a facebook game that is similar to WoW, but doesn't cost anything. He started playing this game when I was going through my qualifier exams for grad school this past year. Which was fine because I was locked into my office all that time writing and working on my exams. I made time for him and we went out when I could find the time. Which was at least once a week. Exams are over, and I now cannot get him off of the computer. I thought maybe going out and doing things will make him want to join me. I run, kite board, and even joined a bowling league (all of which he was interested in when I told him about them). He never joined, wants nothing to do with it. He slouches in front of the computer and complains about his back hurting. I have to beg and scream to get attention. He has "allowed" me 4 hours a day of his attention. Which I find insulting and to top it all off, I don't even get the whole 4 hours anyway. I feel cheap, thrown aside and ignored. We are in our 3rd year of marriage and the possibility of having children is keeping me from whole heartedly wanting to stay in the marriage if he won't get his s**t in order and get off that game. I can't guarantee that he will change, and reading your accounts frightens me that he will never stop, even if we do have a child together.

I find this all extremely depressing that things like this occur. I am not sure what to do.

My husband is addicted to AOC and I feel he's really missing a lot with his family to the point that I really wanted to get out of the house and leave him and even if he make ammends or plan to go somewhere where he could bond with me and my daughter it feels like he's just tired of the game or maybe his eyes are too tired to continue gaming. It actually feels like its just a favor everytime I ask him to do something around the house or ask him to help with our daughter's homework and while he stands up infront of his computer he's looking like you've just interrupted something important...more important than helping out around the house or your daughter's needs? It's really sad because his attitude is also the problem and I really didn't sign up for this.

My husband is addicted to AOC and I feel he's really missing a lot with his family to the point that I really wanted to get out of the house and leave him and even if he make ammends or plan to go somewhere where he could bond with me and my daughter it feels like he's just tired of the game or maybe his eyes are too tired to continue gaming. It actually feels like its just a favor everytime I ask him to do something around the house or ask him to help with our daughter's homework and while he stands up infront of his computer he's looking like you've just interrupted something important...more important than helping out around the house or your daughter's needs? It's really sad because his attitude is also the problem and I really didn't sign up for this.

My husband is addicted to AOC and I feel he's really missing a lot with his family to the point that I really wanted to get out of the house and leave him and even if he make ammends or plan to go somewhere where he could bond with me and my daughter it feels like he's just tired of the game or maybe his eyes are too tired to continue gaming. It actually feels like its just a favor everytime I ask him to do something around the house or ask him to help with our daughter's homework and while he stands up infront of his computer he's looking like you've just interrupted something important...more important than helping out around the house or your daughter's needs? It's really sad because his attitude is also the problem and I really didn't sign up for this.

My husband is addicted to AOC and I feel he's really missing a lot with his family to the point that I really wanted to get out of the house and leave him and even if he make ammends or plan to go somewhere where he could bond with me and my daughter it feels like he's just tired of the game or maybe his eyes are too tired to continue gaming. It actually feels like its just a favor everytime I ask him to do something around the house or ask him to help with our daughter's homework and while he stands up infront of his computer he's looking like you've just interrupted something important...more important than helping out around the house or your daughter's needs? It's really sad because his attitude is also the problem and I really didn't sign up for this.

Hi, I am very frustrated and angry that soo many people have the same problem as I. My husband is sitting right here in front of me playing his game console. I try to blow kisses at him, I take off my clothes and he still avoids me. I got so lonely that I bought a dog... and the worse part is, he didn't even notice. I just don't know what else to do. I am not a bad looking woman, I am 5ft 115 pounds with a size d fake breasts cup. I tried to set up a picnic on Friday and the weather predicted that is was a 30 percent chance of rain so he quickly used that as an excuse to go home and PLAY VIDEO GAMES! I don't understand... I think I will just get my own system and play online against him in another room, so we can spend some TRUE quality time tgether.