Divorce because of husband's computer games addiction

Well I never knew that WOW can ruin someone's life. I m male but addicted to games since I was child , Will I be addicted to it, as Im now After marriage ?

I am having the same issue as well, I am so shocked that I am not the only one, and that a lot of marriages are broken because of constant gaming. My husband plays Xbox non stop before work and when he gets home until he goes to bed. We haven't been able to communicate nor make love and now it is getting worse to the point of him neglecting my 2 year old daughter. He has chosen games over her....GAMES OVER A BABY!!!! i don't know what to do, I feel less attractive and so overwhelmed. it looks like I may have to leave because like the comments said before, you can't change a person.

anonymous wrote:

Hi Everyone,

I don't know what to do? My husband has addiction to game, he plays (WOW) whenever he gets chance and makes it sound so horribly important like "hold on, I need to kill the boss" or "this is the last fight" sometimes he actually stops if I would insist but then I can see he looks like hell! I am an immigrant I have my parents and everybody in my country already I feel very lonely and my husbands constant attention to WOW is just making it worst. I feel like going back from where I came. Our relationship is falling apart. If I would mention his problem to his parents who lives here they would just advice me to adjust. I am already trying to forget his past which is also devastating, I think he is taking my forgiven nature for granted. He was a sex addict in past and he had addiction to porn.

I am very sensitive person, very emotional I do not know what to do except feeling sorry! for myself sometimes I get suicidal tendency but I want to live and save my marriage as in my culture women after divorce gets no dignity form the community. Should I try to adjust with his nature?

Get on the game and play with him

After reading all of your posts I suddenly feel normal. My husband spends 90% of his free time on the computer playing Evony and the other time he is watching television. We are already headed for divorce. He is a good man but this addicition has done us in. He was addicted to porn for a while and he would lie to me about it. He did not spend any time with his kids when they were home and now our daughter is in college. When she comes home we have to beg him to come out and spend time with her. When I ask him to help with the houswork he does so but he finds excuses to get back into his computer room to "check on things with his game". The people he talks to on the computer are so "real" to him. He talks about them like they are his best friends. He does not see the damage he is doing to himself. He has no friends and no one calls for him. He does not go anywhere or do anything but his computer stuff. When he cant do his computer games he becomes angry and mean. I am filing for divorce but I am staying in same house in my own room. I have many pets and I am making long term plans to move and take them with me. Im sad but I cant do anythign about it anymore. I tried but I lost the battle many years ago.

i am having the same problem i have been with my husband for a year and thats all he wants to do . we have had fights about this several times and i have gotten him to give me 3 days a week where the ps3 doesnt even come on unless im still in bed but on the other four its like life stands still. and even though he gives me a few days a week its still hard cause i know thats what he would rather be doing. and the guilt of not letting him just do what he wants to do is very hard on me.i knew before reading these posts that many relationships suffer from this problem, but it is very hard to think that this could get worse or continue on for our whole life together i just cant believe that people go through this for years and i have thought like alot on here have said ,you know ( maybe when we have kids it will go away, or when he starts school , or a job ect. ) all those comments just scare me more cause it obviously never goes away when important things in life happen it just becomes more important cause instead of the new thing being important it seems everyone just sais that the games just get more important and when they are gonna have time to play is what weights on there mind , not the new beginnings of life. but im afraid if i get my own seperate life and do things without him then thats the way life will be ( without him ) so i just usually sit and watch cause if the console isnt in the living room i would never see him so i sit for hours and hours a day just watching what i call the same rerun over and over again. but i dont know what else to do cause i dont want to loose him totally but i am bored out of my mind.what happened to just living life and talking and hanging out and watching tv and joking around and playing or talking with the kids and fixing stuff and board games with the family and playing cards there are so many things to do its like men get into games and just cause they are fun they make everything else not fun anymore is that what it is? just living whats wrong with people that they cant just BE , i am a fun person with a very playful attitude and im smart and witty and beauitiful but the sadness i feel is going to ruin me and who i am it has already taken a very big blow to my self esteem.if anyone has any advice let me know. thanks

sorry i cant really be of any help...my husband is also addicted to computer games, and i don't know what to do. we met almost three years ago and got married in may of 2010, it wasn't that bad, but over the years it has gotten to the point that he is on the computer 90 percent of the day(not an exaggeration) and im left to myself and i try to leave him be because he gets upset when i remark on how long he has been on the computer, and says he feels like im treating him like a little kid. we are expecting our first child, a little girl this upcoming may, and im going to have to have a c-section...im afraid that after the first few weeks he wont help and i will still be recovering and taking care of a newborn all on my own.

As a guy who has been accused of the header...I would like to add my 2 cents b4 you just think about leaving / divorce

Leaving / divorce is the easy way out...most of you thinking this need help with selfishness...and advice on working at a relationship and putting yourself in partners shoes...

Some key things to understand re games...1) as has been mentioned, they are addictive and make time fly, one can find themself playing for 5 hours and it actually feels like 5 mins. 2) They are a great stress reliever 3) Men crave the challenge a game presents
4) It is a very pleasurable / cheap / simple / non-harmful means of entertainment.

The guilty party playing games need to understand that like all things...there is a time for everything....it needs to be moderated...and especially since games can so easily become a bad habit that gets totally out of control.

The aggrieved need to understand that...it IS a bad habit / addiction...NOT an act of hatred...the addicted player did not start playing
games because they dont love their partner....99% of the time there is no ill intentions to the partner...like I said above 5hrs feels like 5mins.

The conclusion is simple....the addicted gamer needs to merely learn to manage time better...God first, partner 2nd and themself 3rd...but being 3rd does not mean they don't allocate time to themself...doing something they enjoy!

With my partner...it feels like even if I play for 30mins....it is the end of the world...which is very selfish...I accept perhaps she is touchy from the past...but take one day at a time...get your own hobbies...I will more then help / pay for them.

Conclusion: It is selfish for you to expect us to give up something we enjoy! I agree with the need to moderate...as an addiction is bad....but dont still complain once it is moderated....bcoz then you are being selfish and the player is better off without you....find your own hobbies!

one, not planning on leaving my husband, two it doesn't matter if i have my own hobbies, i have many of them, and three you r making up excuses dude. he is on the computer for around 15 hours and that is if he wakes up at noon...he is on as soon as he wakes up and only gets off when i can convince him to go to bed with me, so im the one doing all the house work, my pregnancy is high risk and im not supposed to be doing alot of anything. non-stressful, and cheep,ha! he punched his three thousand dollar alien wear laptop because of the stress. this morning i came out to the living room to tell him good morning and give him a kiss and i got yelled at because he was pissed at some other played on his game. its causing me stress and that's something else im supposed to avoid. im not asking for him to give it up. i would just like for him to cut back a bit or at least take some breaks and spend some time with me...

i can't help it anymore!!! please help.. what should i do? he's so addicted to DOTA or War craft... most of his time was about playing that computer games.. ONLINE games... i can't even talk to him cause all of his attention was with that game!! we always fight because of that.. he just always answer me that he's just playing to relieve his stress and thinking.. im so fed up... i don't know if until when i can sacrifice with all of this things happening with us between that game and us!!.... all i can do is cry... =( for God sake please help me.... until when?.... can't he just realize that he should be much focus with me cause im pregnant... =,( help me what will i do...

I am having the same exact problem with my man.. and I am only 16. We have been together for almost 2 years. It really sucks to have to put up with his stupid gaming. I HATE World Of Warcraft. He plays it nearly 24/7. He gets up in the morning, goes to school, comes home, and gets on his stupid game until he goes to bed. (which is usally around 1am). I don't know what to do about it. I love him so much, and I want to help him, but as some have stated, "you can only help those that want help. If they don't want help, move on." But moving on is SOOO much harder than it sounds. When i'm at his house, he just can't help but to get on it at least once. If not more. We've talked about it many times, he knows how I feel, but it doesn't matter. He is addicted. He won't admit it though. He just says that he plays to pass the time because there's nothing better to do. He used to be addicted to it a few years ago before we started dating, then he stopped playing, and now he's started playing again. He usually won't even answer my phone calls or texts because he's too involved with his game. His family and I both have tried to encourage him to get a job or something, but he uses the excuse that if he gets a job he won't be able to keep his grades up in school when in all reality, we all know that he's too worried about not being able to play his game enough. He says that he loves me more than anything, and that he would do anything for me. I usually don't ask him to do things for me, but when I do (ask him to come to church with me, stop playing his games so much, etc.,,) He always comes up with some lame excuse. What do I do? I don't want to marry him just to get a divorce, but I don't see him stopping his games any time soon. I love him more than anything. I can't even start to imagine my life without him, it would be disastrous! Please let me know if anyone comes up with any kind of solution!!! Thanks.

I am also facing same problems . Ineed same help as you need in this . we both are in same situation 99% in this. Any one please help me and how to save my husband i am 26 ears old and he is 30 we married recently 9 months back .

gaby wrote:

Hi, I am 34 years old female and I am divorcing. I know it may sounds weird that I look for help on such place bit I really didn't know what to do. Reason for my divorce is very specific. My husband is addicted on computer's games and he may spend whole day in front of the monitor. We don't even talk normally because of his occupancy with these games. If someone had similar problem please share your experience with me?

Quote:

Hi I am a 48 years old female and I am truly wanting out i my 18 years of marriage because of this same problem with my husband being addicted to video games. I cannot stand it anymore! Its a very lonely life i feel i am leading... He does not care how i feel because he is to caught up in the computer game that he plays day in and day out. We have no communication anymore but when we do it always
ends up in a arguement. I really can't stand living with this man anymore :( :(

I have been with my husband for 20 years. He has been on WOW off and on for 5 years and lately I feel completely alone in life! I cry myself to sleep at night and wake up alone because he is on the game. I have told him how I feel and he says he knows he has a problem but then does nothing but go back to playing his game. I miss him I miss us, sex is almost none unless I beg for it! I feel undesirable. I look at other men wondering if the grass is greener on the other side which is bullsh*t because I love and adore my husband. I want my marriage back! I want the man I fell in love with back!

Lonely in Omaha

Oh my word!! I was shocked to see there are so many out there like me! I'm crying here in relief of reading these because I feel like I'm not being dramatizing or making things up. Some of your texts may as well have been written by me!
My husband played games since we started dating. Then he said 'with you, i feel like playing games isn't fun anymore' hence he quit (made me feel quite appreciated). After a few months he started playing again...It wasn't much of a problem until we got married. I was hurt by start, because he kept saying how he'd end games after we get married...then the promises wondered on the topic when we'd have kids. He's come up with a promise every month and he can moderate his using that lasts max. up to 3 days and sometimes he goes and deletes the whole file of games!! Then after couple of days he'll download/buy a new one.. I'm always believing into his promises but just now it hit me that he will never change.

We have a 6 month old baby and life has changed so much through parenthood, it's like there's no 'us' time anymore after the baby is asleep. I'm doing everything regarding the baby but I do get some help if I nag enough. Today I finally got a chance to talk with him and he couldn't make the decision on between me and the computer. I threatened with a divorce and he still couldn't choose me over the computer. It's not just games, he's watching tv series etc. until way past midnight and then leaves to work at 6.30am. We don't have a sex life, we'll have sex about once a month if I threat him or demand it. I have never felt like he'd want me bad and I keep fantasizing of other men who would treat me like I was a real catch.. I feel like I'm the most unhappiest person in the world but leaving my husband would make me a really bad person.

In addition, my husband's room is like a dumpster and it's the only room in the house that I don't want to clean because he doesn't care about throwing his clothes and stuff all over the floor, like a 15 year old teenager. They say a person's room/house reflects the emotional well being of a human...well, I think my husband's like is a mess! And no matter how I try to talk to him, I won't get a discussion out.. Just mumbling words "aha" or "I don't know" -whatever is the fastest way of getting rid of me and continue playing. Sometimes when I tell him to get off he'll reply "What am I gonna do then??" AS IF IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY TO THINK OF THINGS TO DO IN LIFE!! He's an adult, a husband and a father, and I need to give him tasks to do in his life?! I am not his mother!!! I'm so sad and feel horrible (!!!) of the thought of divorcing, being a christian and valuing marriage so much. With a child in this picture my heart aches even more... Now, we've gone so far apart that I've got really angry with him and don't even want to be with him. I can't respect him and I speak to him in a really unkind way. No wonder he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore..

I am now thinking of separating within a year. I want to see if things would magically change once our baby sleeps through the night, my stress and tiredness is lower and maybe my husband sees something good in me after all.
We've been sleeping in separate rooms for half a year now and sometimes in the w-ends he'll come to my bed if I tell him to.

Thanks for sharing your stories.. baby crying, gotta go..

You're all a bunch of crybaby bit***s. It takes too for a relationship to work or fail. Stop acting like you're perfect. I'm sure your significant other could easily compile a laundry list of complaints about you. End of story.