My Husband is addiceted as well and i feel like i want to divorce him i am very confused because i am a christian and i know i am only supposed to divorce if he is commiting adultry. I dont know what to do its been 9 years of it and he wakes up playing until 4 or 5 am every single day i feel so alone and it is driving me crazy!
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i know its painfull but i have just spent the last eight years with a man who did just what your husband is doing.When i tried to ask him to cut down on his gameing time he would just get abusive.Take my advice and get out while you can. I am now going through a divorce.You have only been married for a very short time,it took me eight years to realise he aint gonna change any time soon.My husband said it in his own words 'Im not going to change'i am guessing you are a very young couple my husband is 45! Good luck to you.
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He has spent most of the day on the screen. The reason why I still continue our marriage is he has a serious disease causing his back pain, being good father,paying attention to me and my daughter, and admitting that he is addicted to the WoW and seriously wants to quit, but can't).
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Hi, it is nice to know that I am not the only one frustrated. I don't think video games are bad, but I do agree with moderation. My husband and I got married just after I turned 18, and have been married three years. He plays almost all the time when he is home, and when he does chill with me, it's like he thinks he's done me some big favor. If I make him mad about it, things get better for a week or two, he doesn't play much, and then it's straight back to it. He says he should get to do what he wants because he's working and doing what he needs to. However, our whole relationship I have been working, going to school or both, on top of being the person who primarily cooks and keeps our apartment cleaned up. It infurates me that he thinks he does so much all the time, and that he thinks that I am unreasonable. He works nights from 12am-8am, four nights a week, when he gets home he turns on the ps3 and plays COD online, until anywhere between noon and 4pm, then when I ask if him to do stuff with me, or help me out his attitude goes to "I'm tired," "I've been working all day." blah blah blah. and I love him very much. But I am getting to the point where enough is enough. He acts like watching a couple movies and cleaning one puppy mess that he has done his duty... I'm just tired and frustrated. I love him, but I want to be with someone who wants to have a relationship with me, not spend all the time he is home with his ps3.
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Oh donkey.. gamer nerd. U'll get a girlfriend soon. And u spell cuddle with a u. Xx
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Sorry girls, hate people sabbotaging this site donkey wrote on 22/3. This is great seeing I'm not alone. My husband is addicted also but not only that he works in the game industry. I'm in help. We have kids and thought things would have changed when that happened but think its worse. The lack of sleep makes him cranky and unable to think clearly. His eyes are always black and generally looks sick. He sleeps beside his xbox as well, so I'm always going to bed alone. I haven't had his attention in that long. If we r together the next best thing for him to do while I'm talking bout my day is games on the iPhone. He lives and breathes it. He would never think its an addiction so I don't know how to get him to talk to anyone about it. I'm glad to hear some of ur stories though and hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel for me and to u.
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how many video games have a website created for the only purpouse of sharing addiction stories?
only WoW (WoWdetox.com).....makes you think.
however, is it really so bad that a man has an obsession that costs only 15$ a month and has him staying at home for hours on end? there are much worse things a man could be obsessed with. WoW does fade eventually, i know, i was there for 3 years and eventually it just....got old. i was lucky enough ( if you can call being single for 3 years "lucky") that my WoW addiction didn't hurt anyone close to me.
dont hate the player, hate the game. that one is a particularly wicked beast.
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My husband has a regular addiction to any kind of gaming whether it is online or on xBox. I finally got him to quit playing xBox continually, specifically one game he would rent over and over again. I told him to buy it and it would save us money, but he insisted on renting. $150. later he finished the game. He could have bought it for $40. Now he is on my computer most of the day. He says he is looking for work but I never see him look for work. He says he is bored and needs an outlet, but yet, dishes get unwashed, he never cooks or does much around the house. The cats we have are mostly starved for attention and come to me. Tonight we had it out and I quietly and sternly put my foot down. I told him that the online game is not doing him or me any good. He does not learn from it, advance from it, or make any money from it. I also feel that liesure activity is just that, something you do when you can afford it. WE can't. We are running out of money. My husband has been out of work for two years. So tonight, while I went up to take a nap after our heated argument, he went and got a twelve pack of beer and continued playing his online golf game. I woke up came downstairs and he laughed and stomped around proclaiming he was drinking beer and playing no matter what. I told him to I did not want to talk to him nor have anything to do with him. I told him that his "id" had taken over and he was sabotaging our relationship. If I could leave for a week I would, it would force him to open up.
I believe strongly this is a mental issue brought on by the sorry state of our economy, and I wish most women could get some free help and guidance on what to do, but we are forced to find forums like this one to help us.
I realize that many men are depressed and anxious and are perhaps have addictive personalities that guide them towards the gaming. They feel it is harmless and it kills time. The problem is that they are totally unaware of how much time they are on there and how much they avoid others, themselves and their responsibilities by doing this. Just like any addiction, I feel that this will have to affect so many things in their lives that it will finally dawn on them that they either need help or they need to hit rock bottom.
I for one am not going to support it any longer. I got my husband to quit drinking every day, but now the game has forced him back into it. If he continues then he will not have me recognize him, talk to him or care. It will be as if he does not exist. He can turn to his friends online. I am done. I have had to deal with this for two years. In that time, I quit drinking, have lost weight and now paint more often and get work. It is not my job to be his mommie and allow his child to take over.
My advice if at all helps is to remind women that they are missing their man. I know I am. And when you support his "id" well, then his id will just take over and his grownup will hide. I am too old to raise him.
As far as this gaming community, I wish the hell they would dry up and go away, but it is the only industry racking in the bucks, and notice how it is geared towards the male audience. There is not one game out there for the female audience. I know that I could just cancel our internet, but I need it for my work. And besides, if I were to do that, he would just go back to xbox, he can do that with just the tv and no cable. So what good would it do?
A lady mentioned above, that we are not doing anything wrong, and the men are. I have racked my brain to see if perhaps I am not seeing it clearly and perhaps I am nagging. However, if the shoe were on the other foot, my husband would surely be concerned. When you have bills to pay, and you are running out of money, or you need help with a child or the house, you do not need a spouse who devotes his whole day to gaming. It should be only something to do when you have the liesure time. It should be an activity that you do to enjoy when you have finished work and your responsibilities. it is just a reward. The problem is that for most of the women I see here, these men are addicted to it and it is taking over. I will check back to see if there are any new listings, but please respond back if you can.
Sincerely,
Debbie
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It is really hard to be a good wife when his computer addiction gets in the way. Any wife will be hurt when her husband chooses to play computer game at night when in fact he should be lying in bed next to her. I love my family and I love him so much. I tried talking to him about it but in the end, he made me feel that I am the bad person who can't understand that computer gaming is part of him and that he gains friends, his online friends. Now I am a bad person who wouldn't let him have friends. Now I am more confused than ever. Should I totally understand him and just let him play until the wee hours of the morning? ( 12:30 to 6:30 everyday for play time) while I as a wife, goes to work 8 hours/day M-F, does the cooking, does the laundry, does the cleaning, does the tutoring to our 5 y/o son, does everything. I just need some attention and some appreciation of what I do. I am tired, and emotionally drained. He was like " I don't even drink or smoke", " This is only what I do". He is saying that computer addiction is a lesser evil than those. I don't think so. It also breaks families and relationships. I love my family so much. I tried talking to him but he won't stop. The more I talk about it, the more it gets worse. He thinks like a teenager ( or worse, a kid), so immature. I just want this to stop once and for all. I'm so tired and exhausted talking about it, because every time I talk to him, he would start yelling, and I am just so scared that the cops will come knocking at our door and take us. Oh God, why did the world ever invented PS3?
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i had the same problem, too.. i never thought i wasn't the only one here..i am a working mom and my husband also has a permanent work as a computer technician. well, since then, when he was still single he's been really addicted to DOTA and some online games and usually went off at 4 or 5 am. when we get married, it minimizes but after 2 years of being married--i happen noticed he really went back for playing online games even if he's at work and home. since then, we had always a fight and even tried playing GODSWAR to see it for myself--it's kinda boring! And if i asked or even just remind him for the time he already spent playing he felt that i was depriving his right and he's hurt for that. I love him so much and i don't want to end up just for this reason. my co-teacher told me about this psychology thing--that every consequences has reasons. for instance, mu husband kept on playing online games though his married and lot of obligation to make because he wasn't contented being single and simply because he's been married at his early age. my question is--i was only 19 when we get married and he was 25. it's clear that i should be the one whose not contented being single! But then, i always end up understanding him again and again. he never understand my reasons....never since we got married. How i wish, we never.=(
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Hello
I have been living like this for almost 12 years and no matter how much I have tried to change it, heard the same responses, being accused of not having anything to do, that we spend all day together & how can I be lonely, it just never changes unless you do something about it and be true to yourself, as they will never listen to you and just accuse you of trying to control them. We are now separating as it is still like that (his is 47 and stays up 7 nights a week until 4-6 am playing games). Please don't waste your life!
I have been living like this for almost 12 years and no matter how much I have tried to change it, heard the same responses, being accused of not having anything to do, that we spend all day together & how can I be lonely, it just never changes unless you do something about it and be true to yourself, as they will never listen to you and just accuse you of trying to control them. We are now separating as it is still like that (his is 47 and stays up 7 nights a week until 4-6 am playing games). Please don't waste your life!
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You are one brave woman. After four years of being married to a game freak and two kids later, I have decided to leave. This is never what I imagine my marriage to be, we don't communicate we disrepect each other due to arguments about his Wow account. it's always the same thing he is going to quit playing and change and it never happens. We have missed on on so much time out together with our kids because of it. I think life is to short and definitely to beautiful to waist it next to a person who decides to sit in front of a computer to play all day long. I've been in the exact same shoes with my husband waking up and going straight to the computer to play WoW on his days off, until 4 or 5 in the morning sometimes. He is a terrible example for our kids, and my oldest already started to get into video games which I have had to refrain him from. Definitely not a way to raise children.
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Oh my goodness ladies! I just got done crying from being so upset with my husband about his gaming. It's very frustrating! And I did not know what to do, to think so I googled and found this site and forum. Everything everyone has said has some attachment to my current situation.
Though I briefly think about divorce, to me, my situation, I don't feel need to get to that point. But I just need for him to see my point and my views and why I'm frustrated.
I am married 24, he is 25, we have been married since I was 18. We have a 6 year old son. I am currently 11wks pregnant. I think my issue with him is that it's fine to play your game, just make time for us. With the amount of time he spends on the games, it would be nice to spend some time together. I am just frustrated and everyone has already said a little of what I would like to say. *Oh, except a lame guy friend said "if you can't stop him, join him"- bull, i'm not joining him!
TO CONCLUDE- ALL US WOMEN! WE NEED TO START A COUNSEL SESSION, GROUP THERAPY, SELF REALIZATION, WHATEVER SUPPORT, THAT INCLUDES HUSBANDS AND WIVES AND A MEDIATOR/ PROFESSIONAL TO HELP!
I could be a virtual group, oh heck, even have them make a game out of it! (haha! lighten the mood!)
It was comforting to read your thoughts, though the situation hasn't improved =(
Though I briefly think about divorce, to me, my situation, I don't feel need to get to that point. But I just need for him to see my point and my views and why I'm frustrated.
I am married 24, he is 25, we have been married since I was 18. We have a 6 year old son. I am currently 11wks pregnant. I think my issue with him is that it's fine to play your game, just make time for us. With the amount of time he spends on the games, it would be nice to spend some time together. I am just frustrated and everyone has already said a little of what I would like to say. *Oh, except a lame guy friend said "if you can't stop him, join him"- bull, i'm not joining him!
TO CONCLUDE- ALL US WOMEN! WE NEED TO START A COUNSEL SESSION, GROUP THERAPY, SELF REALIZATION, WHATEVER SUPPORT, THAT INCLUDES HUSBANDS AND WIVES AND A MEDIATOR/ PROFESSIONAL TO HELP!
I could be a virtual group, oh heck, even have them make a game out of it! (haha! lighten the mood!)
It was comforting to read your thoughts, though the situation hasn't improved =(
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I am in the same boat today is our anniversary and all I heard was look I am not playing games, We are watching TV together! I do not want to watch TV. I have given up I have begged him to stop playing games, he even tunes out the kids when they talk to him. I have thought about throwing all of the computers away but I know that would cause major harm to myself because he would loose his temper. I feel there is nothing left to do I have told him if he does not pay more attention to me I will have no choice but to look other places for it. We are pretty young in our early 30's and I can not see me living my life like this. The main problem is he is the bread winner I gave up my job to have kids and stay home with them and now I am out of place in the work force and he holds that over my head like I do nothing all day. I have never felt so hurt and alone in my life and he just does not seem to care at all.
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Hello, I'm sad to say, I just got married 6 months ago and my husband plays anytime he gets. He has never taken me out to a restaurant but is quick for "me time after he gets home from work. He plays pretty much the whole day on the weekends. I threatened to take a cord from the computer but thought this is wrong. I think if he gets his entertainment and happiness from computer games, well What am I in this with him for? I'm sad and just have given up on him. He loves to communicate with the players and as I talk to him, he ignores me and laughs while typing on the game with his team. I ready to leave him and not interested in trying to make it work anymore. DIVORCE IS SOON!
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