Do you ever get over sexual abuse?

Hi Andy, Its a long road. What happened to you is a violation of your very being and it is one of the worst things inflicted on a human being. You go ahead and follow your heart and do anything it takes . I believe all you say and probably more about how it has affected you. Your post was a while ago now...... hope u have kicked ass in the meantime to get the support you deserve. Take CAre , from another survivor....... Jaybe

why protect your mother? she would be more hurt the longer you chose not to tell her, when she finally finds out it could really be too much for her to handle. I'm going to pray for you because I know what you're feeling; because i too was molested for years and I was even hurt when I found out that the person that hurt me, hurt one of my sisters. i oftentimes feel trapped inside my body physically/mentally/sexually. I pray that we all who've been hurt get the healing we need.

I was sexually abused by my uncle from the age of 8 to 12yrs of age. I am 36 now and I still struggle with the after affects. My family was very disfunctional so I keep my secret for a very long time. So to cope I turned to self mutilation. Truthfully I still struggle with that also. It's hard to get a job,proper care from a doctor, and being judged constantly from others. My arms and legs are scared pretty bad so people tend to stare and whisper. I have seen many phycologists but they preach what they read in books. I have found some of them to be quite judgemental also. I wish I could say people get over it..but they don't. I pray for whomever you were asking the question for.

It doesn't matter how 'painful' the abuse was. It will continually haunt the child. Abuse does not need to be painful to be remembered.

It's so sad but I don't think the pain in the hart never go's away, you can push it to the back of your mind for a while.but it always there waiting in the memory hord .when it surfaces it's always as if it was yesterday

I am now 51 years old. The horrors of my childhood sexual abuse has kept me from living. Not one hour has gone by that I don't think of all that was done to me over the course of 13 plus years. I have never gone to sleep without fear, and the thoughts that take me back to those many bedtimes (and daytimes) where no-one protected me, and my sad attempts to protect myself by wearing every pair of underwear I owned, wrapping myself up like a mummy before falling asleep, hiding under furniture, etc...

There has never been a morning where this was not my first thought of the day, those horrible and devastating memories. The step brother who was 10 years older, ruined my life.

I've made several suicide attempts and have only recently told my husband of many years about this abuse, all because I feared that 'look' of...I don't know, pity? Disgust maybe?

As an abuse victim, I wanted to tell someone...it was all I could think of, I wanted it to stop. But I was the youngest of five children in a blended family. Many other issues affected our family. Both parents were physically and verbally abusive. Alcoholics. Well respected middle class family. No-one could ever imagine or believe what happened behind closed doors.

They would go out to drink with friends, and would come home and continue to drink until they were loaded and take their anger and frustration out on the youngest two...the older three had a father to protect them if anyone harmed them. I remember so many night getting punched like a man in the face, I was only 5 years old when my first memory of being hit by my father occured. It broke my nose and they told people lies, told them I was hit with a baseball. And God forbid, I correct them. Can you imagine if I had told them what their golden son was doing to me, day after day...night after night, year after year?

I had only one hope as a child, Jesus. I would walk to church and do everything I could to be good in order for God to answer my prayers.

I prayed to Jesus all the time. I listened intently to my teachers, I memorized scripture. Would it shock anyone to know I don't believe in God today?

Finally I told someone. My first cousin. My best friend growing up. Her house was the only time I could escape and feel safe with the love and security in it. She had loving parents, the ones I longed for. My aunt and uncle protected their children, never trusted anyone to the job of raising them. My aunt stayed at home and watched over them. My Uncle truly loved little children, and not in a sick way. He loved to hear them talk and laugh, share ideas. He would let us draw, paint, craft anything we wanted to in his garage.

Not because I thought my cousin might help me, I was hopeless by this time. I was 15.

I only told her because she was confiding in me, a story very hard for her to tell. About a man at school who had abused her sexually. And she was afraid to tell anyone. I didn't want her to feel alone, it took everything I had to tell her about my older step brother...who she always admired, after all he was the jock all through school. And now he was finishing up two years of college on a football scholarship. He was the star of the family, ha!

She and I cried together and I felt the weight of the world being lifted off my shoulders. Three days later, I was invited to a family get together at my aunts house. My parents had to work, so my sister came by to pick me up. I should've thought about how strange it was to have a get together on a weekday...but I didn't.

I walked into my loving aunts house, only to be sabotaged by my older sisters, my aunt, uncle, cousins...anyone I ever loved and trusted met me with anger, hate, disgust. They yelled at me for telling this 'lie' and told me it would kill my mother if she ever heard it. My oldest sister hit me, the other pulled my hair...after all it was their real brother and 'he would never do anything like that!'

I felt like my body was there, but I was looking down on it from somewhere else and watching these events take place. Everything I feared was happening. I was never welcomed into my aunt and uncles house again, nor my oldest sisters house.

Years later, I did tell my mother. I felt safe. I was married and had no fear of them any longer. She complained about my brother never coming around, never wanted to talk to her. As she spoke, I knew the reason, the real reason...I lived in the same town. He had tothink that anyday, his secret would be out. Now he had a family and would need to sheild them from his past.

I told her, and the words that came out of her mouth next will haunt me forever. She caught him doing this to me several times in my infancy and when I was a toddler, but finally sat him down and talked to him and she didn't think he would ever do that again.

Yet he became my babysitter all through my life.

Like I said, I am 51 now and I have trust in no-one. I have no real love for anyone either, except for my second husband who has loved me and supported me unconditionally. My first husband, the father of my two girls...I couldn't trust him. I trusted no-one to be alone with my girls and it ruined our marriage.

My girls hate me because I was so overprotective, they have no idea. I'm not going to tell anyone else (except here) what has happened to me, because of the way people react...and to this day I have not been welcome into my aunt and uncles home. They have always been in the church and pass out tracks, but how sad to give that appearance of being a Christian, when you failed the child who needed you most

NO. Im a male and was abused by my brother for 5 years. ages 6 to 11. couldnt do anything because he would threaten my life. Now im 30 still want to end my life because of it. It screws with your head hard.

No you never get over it. I got raped when I was 15 I am 17 now and I still have nightmares about that day and during the days I have flashbacks, scared incase he come back and do it again. Its horrible. I wish I told someone straight away and I do blame it on my self all the time.

I'm 15 and I was abused by my grandpa from the time I was 5-13. I told my school councilor. It took me until this year to realize what he did to me was wrong. We are still going through court and things. I just had a questions because of any of your traumas do you ever find yourself like daydreaming? I have trust issues and I get scared of things related to the events. Also I'm sorry if this is to personal but I just wanted to know how many are victims of child pornogrophy? That's what I am a victim of and I'm always worried I will never find someone who understands me or what occurred. Thank you all for sharing your stories it helps me know I'm not completely alone.

I was sexually abused from the age of 5 till I was 10 years old by my cousin and half brother they groomed me and made me feel like what I was doing was normal and if I didn't do what they wanted they would tell my parents and I would get in trouble. It was only when I found out two of my older family members had been abused as well and told me it was a bad thing I realized what was happening to me it was on a daily bases they both lived with me and I couldn't get away from it. My older cousins finally tricked me into telling parents and they called the police and it went to court they both where found guilt and spent time in prison not enough time in my opinion I am now 23 yrs old and it still affects me to this day I just want to know if it gets any easier an will I ever go a day without thinking about it??? I hope someone can give me some advice I tried counselling when I was younger but it didn't help I just hope I can find a way to get past this and move on

No, not without hope of wanting to feel loved? Special? My abuse started at 7 years of age til 12. Then at 16 my stepfather started!! At 42 years of age with 3 amazingly beautiful children, I still feel guilt, shame, unworthy!! I'm always fighting my inner bully to find belief in myself, and my purpose of life.

I was abused over many years and do not blame, nor need to forgive myself. Yes, I carry guilt, but it is misplaced. Some of my guilt is also because I could not save my sisters from the same horrors.
Saying a person should "forgive" themselves is in my opinion very wrong. That only makes it look as though outsiders also blame us for what happened. It is not true. The perpetrators are the only ones who should be blamed. If you want to help then reassure her time and time again that it is NOT her fault and she has NO reason to forgive herself.

I totally understand how you feel, I was just raped by two soldiers who were both married. They don't give a damn. I am traumatized.

I was abused by my half-brother, step-brothers and step-father and my own biological father also abused me. It set me up for a vicious cycle of acquaintance rapes, non-acquaintance rape, etc. for my entire life. I had notes on my desk "I've been watching you and imagining you with your clothing off" and people couldn't understand why I was absolutely terrified. It brought up all these other issues where I was powerless. I had men jump me in the corporate office and in the military. And most recently two in the military raped me setting me up for another cycle of abuse. You never get over it. I thought I had and I somehow attracted a Sexual Predator AGAIN after all this therapy I went through incl a 30-day program. Nope no matter how much I worked on myself there it was back in my face. Now I have to go through it all over again in therapy. I am 60 and that makes 51 yrs of sexual and physical abuse.

Not completely no. You never do. After living a life of abuse, both mentally, physically & sexually, you just learn to move on and keep living your life.